You are out with the guys and you are drinking with the goal of getting drunk.
You may get drunk only for the following reasons.
1. You got a raise.
2. You got fired.
3. You broke up with your girlfriend.
4. You got laid by your new girlfriend.
5. Your favorite sports team won.
6. Your favorite sports team lost.
7. Your best friend is in town.
8. Your best friend left town.
9. You were just nominated for 'Sexiest Man Alive'.
10. You were just nominated for 'Fattest Man Alive'.
11. It's Friday night.
12. It's Saturday night.
Let it be known that these rules are to be strictly followed. To do otherwise, will cause you to become known as a sot.