518- THE MANS CODE part I

EVERY GUY KNOWS THIS CODE OF CONDUCT FOR MEN, BUT SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED A REMINDER

These rules of conduct are an unwritten code but I'm putting them down here in writing just for all to be sure to follow. They go like this.....
Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.
Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed by his fellow party goers.
Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%.)
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.
Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see nothin'.
There is now no reason for any guy to be caught breaking this code of conduct. YOU ARE NOW INFORMED! This is only half of the code I will, at a later date, give you the rest of it.
.....GED.....