FOR ALL YOU COFFEE ADDICTS, A FEW GRINS AS YOU GULP DOWN YOUR THIRD CUP'a JOESo you need that 'jolt' in the morning, the picker upper, that 'I can't function without my coffee,' yes, you, the one with the mug in your hand right now, Here's to ya!
12 WAYS TO TELL YOU DRINK WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE:
All your kids are named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
12 WAYS TO TELL YOU DRINK WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE:
All your kids are named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.
Instant coffee takes too long.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
AND A COUPL'A SHORT JOKES:
Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That's not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.
"I want you to drink a cup of hot water every morning," prescribed the doctor. "You gotta be kidding, doc," I've been doing that for years, but my wife calls it coffee".
I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said, "why don't you quit drinking coffee?" He said, "because if I didn't have the shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all."
Why do the Lakers drink their coffee black? No more KAREEM!
People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning....... I reply----No, "I just bring her some coffee" !!!
A lady came into the kitchen, sat down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband, "Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back's killing me and my left breast just burns and burns." He said "I'm gonna help you, Dear. I'll get you some aspirins for the headache, I'll rub your back with Myoflex for the backache, and if you'll sit up and get your breast out of the coffee, it'll stop burning!"
So are you awake yet? Then have another cup! .....GED.....
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
AND A COUPL'A SHORT JOKES:
Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That's not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.
"I want you to drink a cup of hot water every morning," prescribed the doctor. "You gotta be kidding, doc," I've been doing that for years, but my wife calls it coffee".
I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said, "why don't you quit drinking coffee?" He said, "because if I didn't have the shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all."
Why do the Lakers drink their coffee black? No more KAREEM!
People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning....... I reply----No, "I just bring her some coffee" !!!
A lady came into the kitchen, sat down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband, "Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back's killing me and my left breast just burns and burns." He said "I'm gonna help you, Dear. I'll get you some aspirins for the headache, I'll rub your back with Myoflex for the backache, and if you'll sit up and get your breast out of the coffee, it'll stop burning!"
So are you awake yet? Then have another cup! .....GED.....
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