Monday, November 26, 2007


Here is a rather humorous story about a weekend in Maui, a celebrity and a couple of bodacious farts.
The scenario:
I was working on the Island of Kauai, Hawaii when my boss told me I should go to Maui for a Golf Course Builders Association convention. He explained that many people in the golf industry would be there and since we would be working and meeting a lot of these members during the course of our work I should go to meet and get acquainted with them. So I went. The place was the Westin Maui Hotel and Resort, the kind of place people save for years to go to on vacation.
So off I went:
I was only planning to stay for that day so I didn't pack any extra clothing or even plan to spend the night. Just to go there and fly back that same day. It was kinda like going to Guam for a day and returning the same day, no big deal. There were architects, suppliers, builders, and lots of golf related people there, just as he said. But the thing that surprised me the most was there were hundreds of movie stars, celebrities and famous people there and they were everywhere you looked. It turned to be a celebrity golf tournament for the John Wayne Cancer Society, a fund raising drive for cancer.. Everybody there was there..
Returning to Maui:
I flew home that evening and grabbed a buddy, packed some bags and flew back for the weekend. We were gonna rub elbows with the rich and famous. Now this story could get really long so I'll get to the main gist of it now.
At the pool bar:
I was sitting at the pool bar beside Leslie Nielson (The Naked Gun Movies, see photo), his wife and another lady. Kirk Douglas, Lloyd Bridges, his sons Beau and Jeff along with Heather Locklear, were at the pool also. Harvey Korman (Carol Burnett show) getting ready to go play his round of golf was there too. Quiet a bunch for us 'regular' dudes.
Soon Leslie struck up a conversation with me about things like, What do you do, where are you from, small chat, friendly stuff, when all of a sudden he FARTED, yes, a long loud fart, but he never missed a beat in his conversation, like it never happened. I didn't know whether to laugh, act surprised or ignore it like it never happened, too, so I did the latter, just choked back my laugh and ignored it, then he FARTED again. Now what's a guy to do, this was funny stuff, before I could react to the second fart he FARTED again. Now these weren't little squeakers these were loud and long, it was undeniable that they were happening.
Well this was all a set-up to see how I'd react and for him to get a few laughs on me. His wife now seeing my puzzled look leaned over and said, "He's got a whoopee cushion and he likes to see the reactions of people when he does that, so never mind its just a joke." Now I must say that broke the ice, or should I say 'cut the wind', and we had a grand time sipping a few drinks together that afternoon. What a fun guy, made my day.
What a great weekend it was, everyone was so gracious and friendly, another fond memory...


bigsoxfan said...

Thanks Glen, I always had an idea that mr neilson might be an all around funny guy. Proof is in the pooting, or so they say. Might be my favorite flashback, but they've all been good. Well, the one about the night with the male strippers was a little like the ballroom dancing contests at the Naked Stallion, but that story is staying between me and the missus.

glend558 said...

You can E-Mail me.. never mind..
Harvy Korman was a riot too, as funny for real as on the show.

bigsoxfan said...

Variety TV seemed so much better back in the old days. Are we old, spoiled or just old? Rowan and Martin? Of course, we did have Sonny and Cher, but I'm still an unapolgetic fan of Sonny. Harvey Korman and Tim Conway were always winners in my book, Wonder if the Carol Burnett show will ever make it to DVD?

No way, am I going to email anything about the missus' and I at Naked Stallion. doesn't anyone rememeber Watergate? Supena this. Ha.. There should be one of those emoticons for the rigid digit. Check out the picture of my brother in law on the couch yet?? He's going to be a little peeved when he see's that.

Bruce A. Bateman said...

What a career change that guy made. Early on he is the rugged leading man type in Forbidden Planet and others then transformed into a laugh out loud slapstick comic.

I used to see and chat with a lot of those celebrity types on airplanes going to and coming from Las Vegas where I had a business back in the 70s. None ever simulfarted though. (:-))

Anonymous said...

Great story Glen. Growing up in Thousand Oaks California, we were actually the old west back in the late 50's and early 60's. I remember hiking back into the hills where they had movie sets.

My favorite was Dodge City.. we would set up the tables and chairs for lunch and then get to eat with the actors. Two bits of Trivia from Gunsmoke. James Arness had the largest nose of anyone I ever saw. That's why they never had a camera angle of him from the side. And Festus didn't limp in real life. Also, Miss Kitty was a babe!!

I also liked to watch them film the Rifleman. The movie sets of his house (we called it the Rifleman Shack) was near the Dodge City set. We also would watch Wagon Train and one time, an episode of Bonanza. Ahh the good old days.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot to mention. Thousand Oaks also had a zoo called Jungleland. It was a very special zoo, however. All of the animals were movie animals. Remember the MGM lion with his Roar? He was there. Totally blind.

Other movie animals like chimps, giraffes, and on and on. They would give tours and we worked there in the summer as teenagers, giving tours and doing shows with the animals for the tourists.

Most of the animals were well trained.. and they actually did the training of these animals there in Jungleland. I can remember the lions roars echoing through the canyons every night... eerie. Google search will reveal a lot of good stuff about jungleland if anyone is interested in movie history.

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