Thursday, May 31, 2007


AURORA, Colo. - An amputee who discovered a burglar inside his home was shot while fighting him off with a crutch. Roger Baxter survived the Tuesday incident after a cell phone apparently slowed a bullet to his chest. "I just got it programmed," Baxter said of the phone. Baxter lost his right leg after being hit by a tractor-trailer in October. He was returning from getting a haircut when he discovered the man with a gun inside his house. "He was pointing it at me," Baxter told KDVR-TV. "He kept coming toward me and he got within 5 foot of me and that's when I hauled off and hit him with one of my crutches." Aurora police spokesman Robert Friel said Baxter was wounded in the upper torso after the bullet hit the phone. Friel said two juveniles were arrested, one believed to be the suspect in the attack and the other believed to have been a lookout. Their names have not been released. "It's not my time," said Baxter, a Vietnam veteran. "I went head to head against a semi back in October and today I went up against a 9 mm and I'm here. I'm just a tough old bird."...... Just wasn't his time to go I guess. Now you all make sure you are safe! .......GED.......


Jesse Jackson got out of the shower and was drying off when he looked in the mirror and noticed he was white from the neck up to the top of his head. In sheer panic, and fearing he was turning white and might have to start working for a living, he called his doctor and told him of his problem. The doctor advised him to come to the office immediately. After an examination, the doctor mixed a concoction of brown liquid, gave it to Jesse, and told him to drink it all. Jesse drank the concoction and replied, "My God, that tasted like bullshit!"The doctor replied, "It was, Jesse. You were a quart low."...... This could also go out to Al Sharpton just as well, we don't want Jessie to get all the bullshitting credit now do we?.......GED......

300- 300- 300- 300- 300

Thank you all for reading these posts, I write them for you and I hope you enjoy them. But please, if you have any comments to add or want to rebuke something I've said, please feel free to do so. Sometimes I may get a little explicit, but that's how I feel, but keep on smiling, it probably won't affect anything or anyone anyway. So time to break out another bottle of bubbly and celebrate this new milestone accomplishment. Cheers! Be sure to follow the new posts as I usually add some everyday. I haven't written as many posts as in the month of April, but I think they are plenty. So to all of you my friends, watch for more to come. Now ya'll have a really nice day and keep on being happy! Smile a little. Grin alot!.. .....GED.....


Read the following story from Tokyo, Japan: A glittering bathtub made of gold worth nearly $1 million has been stolen from a resort hotel, an official said Wednesday. A worker at Kominato Hotel Mikazuki in Kamogawa, south of Tokyo, notified police that the fancy tub was missing from the hotel's guest bathroom on the 10th floor, according to a local police official who only gave his surname, Ogawa. (kind'a sounds like water in Spanish.) The round tub, worth $987,000, is made of 18-karat gold and weighs 176 pounds. The tub, flanked by two crane statues, has been a main feature of the hotel's shared bathroom. Visitors can take a dip in the tub, but it is only available a few hours a day "for security reasons," the hotel's Web site said. Someone apparently cut the chain attached to the door of a small section of the bathroom where the bathtub was placed, but not riveted, and made off with the tub, Ogawa said. "We have no witness information and there are no video cameras," he said. "We have no idea who took it," the official said. Now just what the heck are you gonna do with it now? Take a bath? A very clean story for a change. Happy scrubbing to you! .....GED.....


MOBILE, Ala. - A woman who helped rescue an injured cat on the roadside got a surprise when a veterinarian told her it was a wild and potentially dangerous bobcat.
Liza Eldred, her teenage daughter and the girl's friend found the female bobcat Saturday on U.S. 98 in south Baldwin County, wrapped it in a sweatshirt and drove it to an animal clinic for treatment. Veterinarian Andy Duke said the women were "extremely lucky" that the bobcat, which had a broken paw, did not panic and injure them. They were in "a lot of danger," Duke said. Eldred believes the bobcat didn't harm them because it sensed they were trying to help.
"It was not moving, making a sound," she said. "It hissed once, so we stopped once so my daughter's friend could move into the (far) back seat." Duke's staff named the 11-pound bobcat Bobbi...... Kudos, Liza Eldred, for the consideration of, and helping an injured animal even if you didn't know it could be very dangerous. Now we all should take this as a lesson. .....GED......

Wednesday, May 30, 2007


FORT WORTH, Texas - Cindy Sheehan, the soldier's mother who galvanized an anti-war movement with her month long protest outside President Bush's ranch, said Tuesday she's done being the public face of the movement. "I've been wondering why I'm killing myself and wondering why the Democrats caved in to George Bush," Sheehan told The Associated Press while driving from her property in Crawford to the airport, where she planned to return to her native California. "I'm going home for awhile to try and be normal," she said....... (So you aren't normal now? Guess not!) In what she described as a "resignation letter," Sheehan wrote in her online diary on the Daily Kos blog: "Good-bye America ... you are not the country that I love (then try loving Venezuela I hear is nice there, and they got some riots going on there right now.) and I finally realized no matter how much I sacrifice, I can't make you be that country unless you want it. "It's up to you now. (We don't love you either, asshole.) "I have endured a lot of smear and hatred since Casey was killed and especially since I became the so-called "Face" of the American anti-war movement," Sheehan wrote in the diary. ......... So good riddance to a piece of crap, we will never miss her, the only question is, what the hell was she doing there in the first palace? Has she served any constructive purpose, did anyone any good, or helped this country? What a piece of turd this idiot person is, bye idiot. ....GED.....

Tuesday, May 29, 2007


To all of you ready to step out into the real world, good luck and fortunes to all! Read some notable graduation comments:
The advantage of a classical education is that it enables you to despise the wealth that it prevents you from achieving. Author: Russell Green
The purpose of a liberal education is to make you philosophical enough to accept the fact that you will never make much money. Author: Anonymous
The trouble with learning from experience is that you never graduate. Author: Doug Larson
The whole purpose of education is to turn mirrors into windows. Author: Sydney Harris
The young graduate is discovering that among the necessaries of life, the most important is living. Author: Anonymous
There is a good reason they call these ceremonies "commencement exercises." Graduation is not the end; it's the beginning. Author: Orrin Hatch
There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you - just reach deep into yourself! Author: Anonymous
Whenever it is possible, a boy should choose some occupation which he should do even if he did not need the money. Author: William Lyon Phelps
Your schooling may be over, but remember that your education still continues. Author: Anonymous........ So luck and success to all! ......GED.......


A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale has hit Mexico. Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start with providing help to rebuild. The rest of the world is in shock.
Canada is sending troops to help the Mexican army.
Saudi Arabia is sending oil.
Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.
The European community (not France) is sending food and cash.
The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million replacement Mexicans.
Only would the U.S. have a few extra Mexicans as replacements..... .......GED......


If ignorance is bliss, why aren't more people happy?.... The two most common things in the Universe are hydrogen, and stupidity.... Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.... Ignorance will take you to a lot more interesting places than knowledge.... The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all, is the person who argues with them.... Half of being smart is knowing what you're dumb at.... The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.... Common sense isn't, Common.... Everyone has a photographic memory.. Some just don't have film.... If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.... Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.... Some drink at the fountain of knowledge.. Others just gargle.... I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.... I can't dial 911.. There's no 11 on my phone.... It's okay to let your mind go blank; but please turn off the sound....... Surely this doesn't refer to anyone reading this, it is only for your humor and is about the "other" guy..... ......GED......

293- THE YEAR WAS 1955

THEN.... 1955, I was 7 years old and in 2nd grade. Things were so different, can you remember these kind of prices and comments?...... "I'll tell you one thing, it's soon going to be impossible to buy a week's groceries for $20." ~~~~ "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long before they will cost $2,000 dollars" ~~~~ "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous." ~~~~ "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?" ~~~~ "If they raise the minimum wage to $1.00 nobody will be able to hire outside help." ~~~~ "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost .29 cents a gallon. ~~~~ "Ever since they let Clark Gable get by with saying "damn" in "Gone With The Wind," it seems every new movie has either "hell" or "damn" in it. ~~~~ "I read the other day where some scientist think it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas ." ~~~~ "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president." ~~~~ "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now." ~~~~ "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work." ~~~~ "Marriage doesn't mean a thing any more; those Hollywood stars seem to be getting divorced at the drop of a hat." ~~~~ "I'm just afraid the Volkswagen car is going to open the door to a whole lot of foreign business." ~~~~ "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. ~~~~ "The drive-in restaurant is convenient in nice weather, but I seriously doubt they will ever catch on." ~~~~ "No one can afford to be sick any more; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood." ~~~~ "If they think I'll pay .50 cents for a hair cut, forget it." So all is now is a memory, times were good and living was easy, but we didn't know it then. A trip if you can recall, back when. .....GED....


This little-pantie waist of a raise is no cause of distress. You will never know it even happened. See what our able and wise Chamber of Commerce leaders think of this little bit of scratch being dealt out at the huge rate of $20.00 dollars a week for the very lowest of wage earners. Is this meant to be a prediction of doom, the end of it all, the final straw that breaks the camels back? Or is it in some way telling us just what a bunch of greedy people are running our business community? See what the president of this all important business leadership has to say.........Saipan Chamber of Commerce president Juan T. Guerrero expects layoffs and work hour reductions to follow the federal wage hike legislation, which will raise the local minimum wage by 50 cents an hour two months from now...... Now if your business is so close to going under that you can't afford giving your very lowest paid "peons" this tiny raise, get out of business now, you will never be able to withstand the next round of tax increases, power increases, government fee increases or any of the higher cost of doing business that will inevitably come anyway. Quit now, get out.......
Guerrero said the impact of job losses and shorter work hours will offset whatever economic activity will result from the workers' increased buying power.
“The wage increase is good for the employees, but bad for the employers. The timing, everything is against us. Fifty cents at 80 hours is $40. Not many businesses will be able to sustain this additional cost. You can expect layoffs, reduction in work hours to take place,” said Guerrero, who spoke as an individual business. Following this argument, Guerrero said he doubts the increase in the paychecks of minimum wage earners will be significant enough to spur economic activity, but prices will go up everywhere definitely,” he said........ Now what is he saying? Is he speaking out of both sides of his mouth? It's to big for the employer,, but won't make a difference to the employee.......This is out leader speaking, what a narrow view of reality. I predict we will never even feel a bump in the road, lets wait and see who is right! Don't despair it will be O.K., don't worry, I promise. .......GED.....

Monday, May 28, 2007


What it means: Origin of the term: The phrase "Once in a blue Moon" was first noted in 1824 and refers to occurrences that are uncommon, though not truly rare. Yet, to have two full Moons in the same month is not as uncommon as one might think... When does it occur? In fact, it occurs, on average, about every 32 months. And in the year 1999, it occurred twice in a span of just three months!... The next occurrence: Thursday, May 31 brings us the second of two full Moons for North Americans this month. Some almanacs and calendars assert that when two full Moons occur within a calendar month, that the second full Moon is called the "Blue Moon." The full Moon that night will likely look no different than any other full Moon. But the Moon can change color in certain conditions. And why is that, you might ask?..... After forest fires or volcanic eruptions, the Moon can appear to take on a bluish or even lavender hue. Soot and ash particles, deposited high in the Earth's atmosphere can sometimes make the Moon appear bluish... There is your scientific lesson for the day, I hope you have learned something new. Now for the romantics.... I'll leave that up to you and yours.
Now have a lovely evening! ......GED.......


Asiana Airlines president Joo-An Kang, Saipan Asiana Airlines general manager Kwang Joong Kim, Asiana executive Choong-Sik Kwak, Lt. Gov. Timothy P. Villagomez, Marianas Visitors Authority chairman Jerry Tan, and other dignitaries pose for a photo at the airport during the inaugural flight ceremony of Asiana's first daytime flight to Saipan. A POSITIVE DEVELOPMENT FOR THE CNMI, FINALLY...
Asiana Airlines' decision to launch new flights to Saipan, as well Kumho Asiana's plans to continue investing in the destination, brings the CNMI even closer to its goal. Add to this are plans for flight service from Pusan. “The reality has been that the Korean outbound market has been very strong as a country. They have now over close to 11 million outbound tourists. And if we can get 2 percent of that, that will be over 200,000,”
“The key is, MVA is not doing it alone. We are fortunate to have Kumho Asiana, with its continuing interest in this route and also the investment in Laolao Bay Golf Resort. And comes from the fact that we have Asiana as a partner in growing the market,”
Isn't this a breath of fresh air for our staggering economy? We wish these efforts all the success and blessings in achieving a long and profitable experience here in he CNMI. Have a good journey. .....GED.....


Gov. Ben FitialFINALLY WE HAVE A SMART MOVE ON THE PART OF THE GOVERNOR........... Fitial Orders Garment Hiring Stopped: Gov. Benigno R. Fitial has ordered the Department of Labor to stop garment factories from hiring any new workers..... Forecasting the “fast-tracked demise” of the garment industry to follow the new federal wage hike law, the governor said that no additional garment workers should be allowed into the CNMI until those displaced are hired or sent home. What an novel idea, now this is some smart thinking on the part of our belittled governor. A man who has been ridiculed and abused for all the problems here in the CNMI. A moment of brilliance shines through the gloomy overcast on Capitol hill. Governor you must be commended for your insight into this sensitive matter and be applauded for your outstanding decision making. Keep up the good work, things are looking up! ......GED......


So you want to induce government workers into the private sector's workforce. Well you can't legislate work ethics, people skills, politeness, reliability to show up, education and training, the ability to get a job done, dependability, workmanship, and all the requirements deemed necessary in the private sector that is not common in the government work place. What makes you think you can legislate a government worker to leave a cushy job with no responsibilities and go work for a private sector wage and have to actually show up and work, like in, being productive, earning their keep with their own skills and abilities. To have them go to work in a place where they can actually get fired for insubordination, stealing, rudeness and other reasons that are not in place in the public workplace. You will find out that legislating public workers to the private sector won't work at all. You must legislate training and education, support the schools, make wages applicable to all people, and not only favor unskilled government dependents. As long as you have a two tiered wage system you will have a two tiered workforce. Pass all the goofy laws you want but you won't succeed unless the system is the same for all. You must level the playing field for the whole community and stop favoring one special section of people, (voters) otherwise there will always be problems. How many times were the labor laws changed and amended, over and over again, didn't work did it? Has never worked, Has it? Never will work, ever.. But things won't change, the same old stale people will keep passing the same old stale laws, the "in one day", "out the next day" system, never succeeding to make any real improvements. As long as you don't change the people that legislate these stupid laws they all will still remain the same. Same old legislators, same old legislation, over and over. Lets all hope and VOTE for a better tomorrow. .....GED.....

Sunday, May 27, 2007


Born Marion Robert Morrison on May 26, 1907, the ultra-manly star changed his name to John Wayne in 1930 at the suggestion of film maker Raoul Walsh. He also earned the nickname "the Duke" during a career marked by his portrayals of rugged heroes.The people of Winterset, Iowa, held festivities Saturday for the US town's most famous son, the "True Grit" cowboy actor John Wayne, who was born there 100 years ago, organizers and local media reported.... Quotes from the Duke:..... John: I've had three wives, six children and six grandchildren and I still don't understand women.... John: Never say sorry - it's a sign of weakness.... John: Women have the right to work wherever they want, as long as they have the dinner ready when you get home.... John: Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.... John: I never trust a man that doesn't drink.... John: Tomorrow hopes we have learned something from yesterday.... John: I'm an American actor. I work with my clothes on. I have to. Riding a horse can be pretty tough on your legs and else wheres.... John: Talk low, talk slow, and don't say too much.... John: Life is hard; it's harder if you're stupid. A true American icon, we all enjoyed the moments you gave us. Rest in Peace. ......GED.....


It was '65 and I was 16 and the war was only over for 20 years at the time and our vo. ag. teacher, Mike Orendo, used to show us WWII movies in some of our classes. He was a recent retiree of the U.S. Air Force, a WWII B-29 bomber pilot, who had seen action in the pacific. At the time we never got it, the meaning and reasons why he was so proud to show us those movies, but now after 8 years of living in Hawaii, and 13 years here in the CNMI, I get it for sure. In Hawaii I went to the Arizona Memorial, saw battleship row, the sunken remains of a once hell in Pearl Harbor, but the real stories came from the people I befriended who were actually living in Honolulu and near-by who recanted their real life experiences that Sunday morning on December 7th. These people actually saw the bombs falling, heard the explosions and saw all the carnage. It became real then, and it all started to come together. After coming to the CNMI it became even more real, seeing all the war relics, memorials and the historical sites here on Saipan, I started to fully understand just what these hero's have really sacrificed and gave to us all. They need to be honored with the up most of our respect. Their valor and bravery should never go unheeded or be forgotten. Please show your respects and honor our past and present hero's this Memorial Day. To all of you, Kudos and a heart felt Thank-you!! .......GED.......


Hillary Tours Home: Bill and Hillary Clinton are driving in the country near Hillary's hometown. They are low on fuel, so Bill stops at a gas station. The man at the gas station comes out and looks into the window. "Hey, Hillary! We used to date in high school, do you remember me?" he asks. They talk merrily for a few minutes. Bill pays, and they leave. As they drive, Bill is feeling very proud of himself and looks over at Hillary. "You used to date that guy? Just think what life would be if you hadn't married me," he says. Hillary looks at Bill and says to him, "Well, I guess you'd be pumping gas and he'd be President" ...........
Hillary Clinton goes to a psychic who tells her: "Prepare yourself for widowhood ... Your husband is about to die a violent death. "Mrs. Clinton takes a deep breath and replies: "Will I be acquitted?.........
What's Bill Clinton's idea of safe sex? When Hillary is out of town.........
Why does Hillary want to have sex with Bill Clinton first thing in the morning? She wants to be the first lady..........
Hillary Clinton went in for her yearly checkup. When she was finished, she asked her gynecologist how things looked. He said he was pleased and that she is in great
shape but, that she was pregnant! "There is no way!" she told the doctor. The doctor said that she was most definitely a month pregnant. Well, Hillary stormed out of the office and went to the receptionist and took the phone and called the white house. When the operator answered, she said that it was Hillary and that she wanted to talk to Bill right away. They rang the oval office and Bill answered. Hillary said: "Do you know what you did you rotten bastard? You got me pregnant!" The President remained silent. Again, Hillary screamed, "DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID, YOU ROTTEN BASTARD? YOU GOT ME PREGNANT!!!" Finally Bill answered... "Who is this?" ........ A little bit of fun with Hillary, Have an amusing day. ....GED.....


The Fire bell System: A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole. BELL 3 rings and we're on the fire truck ready to go. "From now on when I say BELL 1, I want you to strip naked. When I say BELL 2, I want you to jump in bed. And when I say BELL 3, we are going to make love all night. "The next night he came home from work and yelled, "BELL 1!" The wife promptly took all her clothes off...Then he yelled, "BELL 2!", the wife jumped into bed... When he yelled, "BELL 3!", they began making love... After a few minutes the wife yelled "BELL 4!" What the hell is BELL 4?" asked the husband? "ROLL OUT MORE HOSE," she yelled, "YOU'RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE!!!".... So let that be a lesson, don't go to a fire with enough equipment. .....GED.....


This just still isn't gonna provide diddly shit for anybody to make a living with. Even with the governor saying,"This will bring the demise of the garment industry." Don't he know the garment industry is already a gone deal? The truth of the matter is this just does not really help anyone at all. If your business goes belly up by giving a .50 cent raise, get out of business, you are already a loser! Hell, the price of gas went up this much just in the last coupl'a months, our power bill doubled in the last year, and the fat, greedy cats are crying about a mere .50 cent raise, saying it will break them, well cry me a river, get over it! Why don't all you crybabies try living on this salary for awhile, can't do it, impossible, so there you go. Life will go on. All the rest of you have a very nice day! .....GED.....

Friday, May 25, 2007

282- MAN or WOMAN

Are You Male or Female?
Aside from getting sterilized, your birth control options are: a. one-b. almost a dozen
When parking your car in a public garage you: a. toss your keys jauntily to the attendant- b. hand your keys over politely...
You haven't shaved in 4 days. The resulting stubble can be construed as: a. sexy- b. gross...
At the doctor's, a common request would be: a. "Cough."-b. "Would you like to scoot down just a little more dear?"...
As a sporty person, you need athletic support with: a. one cup- b. two cups...
When you're feeling insecure, what you say to your best friend is: a. nothing -b. "Do I look fat?"...
You've slept with several hundred people, one term used to describe you would be: a. sports legend- b. tramp...
The age it hits home that junk food will devastate your body is: a. 35- b. 14...
When you hear the words "hand wash," the first thing that comes to your mind is: a. your car- b. panty hose...
It`s the seventh game of the playoffs, bottom of the ninth, score tied. Bases are loaded with 2 outs. The man at bat has a .311 average against southpaws, and the pitcher is a lefty. Your mate turns to you and says, "Do you want a back rub?" You are: a. too busy screaming at the TV to even hear the question- b. daydreaming...
Your idea of basic pump is: a. an athletic shoe made by Nike- b. a heeled shoe made by Fayva...
Multiple Orgasms are something you: a. give-b. get
a = 1 point b = 2 points
0-12 Congratulations, you are a male. This means you have a greater lean-muscle-to-fat ratio, earn most of the money, and a select few of your sex can look forward to being president someday.
13-24 Congratulations, you are a female. This means you will live longer, have your choice of wearing either pants or a skirt in polite company and a select few of your sex can look forward to being president someday.
O.K. Guys here's to you!. ....GED.....


You Know You Work for the Government If...
When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie.
You get really excited about a 2% pay raise.
Your biggest loss from a system crash is you lose your best jokes.
Your supervisor doesn't have the ability to do your job.
You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet.
Computer specialists know less about computers than your teenager.
Lunch is like another scheduled meeting, only shorter.
You see a good looking person and know they are a visitor.
Management thinks a business trip with uncompensated mandatory weekend travel is a perk.
Although you have a telephone, pager, E-mail, FAX, company distribution, Fed-X, US mail and coworkers sitting right on the other side of the partition...communication is a continuing problem.
You know, and everyone that works with you knows, your performance is superior, but "satisfactory" is the highest level on the documented performance rating.
You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube.
When workers screw up they are transferred to another office to be someone else's problem; when management screws up they are promoted.
Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes," "in your spare time," "when you're freed up" and "I have an opportunity for you."
Training is something spoken about but never seen.
Vacation is something you roll over to next year.
The worst possible reputation comes from being the initiator of a complaint.
You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting.
So there you go, aren't you proud of your government job? ... ......GED......


THIS IS TO ALL YOU PEOPLE OUT THERE, LIKE ME, BUSTING OUR ASSES TO MAKE ENDS MEET. Now I'm going to show you a little scenario that you can't believe. First, The CNMI Government does not pay its utility bills, the reason for this, is, they think CUC is cheating them and not charging the proper rates, so they got a TRO ( temporary restraining order) from the court to allow them not to pay their utility bills, all of them, even though they dispute the water bill, they don't pay a goddamn thing. You and I are carrying them! So is CUC cheating them? Then you might think are they(CUC) are cheating us too? Probably, but this is not the point now. This sorry ass government is so corrupt that they not only don't pay their bills, their employees steal everything they can get also. Let me quote a few newspaper headlines......Friday, May 25, 2007...CUC supervisor, 5 others arrested. Authorities arrested yesterday a Commonwealth Utilities Corp. supervisor and four other employees who, in exchange for cash, allegedly conspired to reconnect individuals who have been disconnected or to not disconnect delinquent accounts. CUC reportedly incurred losses of over $300,000 because of this........ Makes you proud to be here paying your bills on time, doesn't it? Now lets get to the bigger problem This sorry government. Just how does this make you feel, every time you cough up $250.00 dollars each month for your power bills?....Thurs May 24:.....Gov’t owes CUC nearly $5M. At least 28 agencies of the central government have delinquent accounts with the Commonwealth Utilities Corp. for more than two months, amounting to over $4.6 million. The Public School System has the biggest arrears at over $1.226 million. The Department of Public Health comes in second with unpaid bills of $665,276.97 as of April 30, 2007. The Department of Public Works owes CUC $532,067.08 while the Department of Public Safety’s arrears for the same period totaled $395,035.13. The Department of Finance’s unpaid utility bills total $137,374.80. The Department of Community and Cultural Affairs owes CUC more than $105,000. The unpaid utility bills of the governor’s office have reached more than $130,000, while those of the Attorney General’s Office amount to $9,272.37. Other government agencies with delinquent accounts are: the Board of Parole — $178.15; the Election Commission — $512.47; the Criminal Justice Planning Agency — $7,478.08; the Civil Service Commission — $1,439.06; Developmental Disabilities — $2,350.74; the Division of Environmental Quality — $13,259.13; the Department of Lands and Natural Resources — $10,174.60; the Department of Commerce — $5,405.78; the Department of Corrections — $94,611.23; and the Emergency Management Office — $25,369.50.The judicial branch owes CUC $230,276.22.The legislative branch’s unpaid utility bills total $74,909.73; the museum — $31,251.04, while those of the Northern Islands Office were $9,420.16. Northern Marianas College has arrears of more than $60,000 while those of the Office of Personnel Management were $787.90. The Workforce Investment Agency owes more than $5,000. Among the mayors’ offices, Rota has the highest arrears at $484,688.75; Saipan — $10,961; and Tinian — $357,714.21...... And you and I will have our power disconnected if we don't pay ......What the hell is up with this goddamn shit? How is this supposed to work, you pay your bill and get milked, you complain and steal, that works? This is terribly wrong, and has to stop! People make sure to vote this time around, but alas, you will only get more of the same because the same people always run for election, with no new ideas or efforts to improve anything, a sorry goddamn situation at the least. I am pissed off and you should be too. We gotta stop this friggi'n mismanagement of this island...Now!.......GED......

Wednesday, May 23, 2007


Saturday night was a bartenders competition for local bartenders to show off their skills, flairs, and concoctions of various drinks. This was an excellent show to watch, the only thing missing was a chance to taste them all, which was limited to the judges. This was a part of the Taste of the Marianas festival taking place every Saturday night in the month of May. There is one more event left so be sure not to miss it, great fun, food and drinks. You really should try to make it there. So a good time for everyone. Now have a great weekend! .... .....GED........


A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won't stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring. He replies: "I have a question to ask you, but I don't want to offend you". She answers, "My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." "Well, I've always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me." She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that. But first, you have to be single and you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!" "OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley, "maybe we will see what we can do." The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. "My dear child," said the nun, why are you crying?" "Forgive me, but I've sinned. I lied. I must confess, I'm married and I'm Jewish." The nun says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm going to a Halloween party.".... Now you have a good day! ........GED........


HOW TO STAY YOUNG....... 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay "them ".... 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.... 3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,whatever. Never let the brain idle. "An idle mind is the devil's workshop." And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.... 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.... 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.... 7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.... 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable,improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.... 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.... 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away........ So there you have it remind yourselves to enjoy life while your alive cause later will be to late.. .....GED......

Tuesday, May 22, 2007


Who is Barack Obama? Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black Muslim from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white atheist from Wichita, Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii.
When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. His father returned to Kenya. His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a radical Muslim from Indonesia. When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocated to Indonesia. Obama attended a Muslim school in Jakarta. He also spent two years in a Catholic school. Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school."
Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influenceover his son's education. Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school in Jakarta. Wahabism is the radical teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world.
Since it is politically expedient to be a Christian when seeking major public office in the United States, Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background. Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy. I am passing this along, I cannot verify the story as actual facts. you can decide for your own self. .....GED.....


Because of recent abductions in daylight hours, refresh yourself of these things to do in an emergency situation.... This is for you, and for you to share with your wife, your children, everyone you know. After reading these 9 crucial tips , forward them to someone you care about. It never hurts to be careful in this crazy world we live in.
1 . Tip from Tae Kwon Do : The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough to use it, do!
2. Learned this from a tourist guide in New Orleans . If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM! Toss it away from you.... chances are that he is more interested in your wallet and/or purse than you, and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car, kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you, but everybody else will. This has saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their cars after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc. DON'T DO THIS!) The predator will be watching you, and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to go. AS SOON AS YOU GET INTO YOUR CAR , LOCK THE DOORS AND LEAVE.
a. If someone is in the car with a gun to your head DO NOT DRIVE OFF, repeat: DO NOT DRIVE OFF! Instead gun the engine and speed into anything, wrecking the car. Your Air Bag will save you. If the person is in the back seat they will get the worst of it. As soon as the car crashes bail out and run. It is better than having them find your body in a remote location.
5. A few notes about getting into your car in a parking lot, or parking garage: A.) Be aware: look around you, look into your car, at the passenger side floor , and in the back seat B...) If you are parked next to a big van, enter your car from the passenger door . Most serial killers attack their victims by pulling them into their vans while the women are attempting to get into their cars. C..) Look at the car parked on the driver's side of your vehicle, and the passenger side. If a male is sitting alone in the seat nearest your car, you may want to walk back into the mall, or work, and get a guard/policeman to walk you back out. IT IS ALWAYS BETTER TO BE SAFE THAN SORRY. (And better paranoid than dead.)
6. ALWAYS take the elevator instead of the stairs. (Stairwells are horrible places to be alone and the perfect crime spot. This is especially true at NIGHT!)
7. If the predator has a gun and you are not under his control, ALWAYS RUN! The predator will only hit you (a running target) 4 in 100 times; And even then, it most likely WILL NOT be a vital organ. RUN, Preferably ! in a zig -zag pattern!
8. As women, they are always trying to be sympathetic: STOP It may get you raped, or killed. Ted Bundy, the serial killer, was a good-looking, well educated man, who ALWAYS played on the sympathies of unsuspecting women. He walked with a cane, or a limp, and often asked "for help" into his vehicle or with his vehicle, which is when he abducted his next victim.
9. Another Safety Point: Someone just told me that her friend heard a crying baby on her porch the night before last, and she called the police because it was late and she thought it was weird. The police told her "Whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." The lady then said that it sounded like the baby had crawled near a window, and she was worried that it would crawl to the street and get run over. The policeman said, "We already have a unit on the way, whatever you do, DO NOT open the door." He told her that they think a serial killer has a baby's cry recorded and uses it to coax women out of their homes thinking that someone dropped off a baby He said they have not verified it, but have had several calls by women saying that they hear baby's cries outside their doors when they're home alone at night.
Please pass this on and DO NOT open the door for a crying baby ---- This e-mail should probably be taken seriously because the Crying Baby theory was mentioned on America 's Most Wanted this past Saturday when they profiled the serial killer in Louisiana. Now you have a very safe and alert day! ......GED......

Monday, May 21, 2007


Subject: Bubba and Junior: Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up. A blonde lady walked by and asked what they were doing. "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder. "The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height, and she gives us the length. "Bubba and Junior are currently supervising the reconstruction of New Orleans." ......GED......


This is to announce that we will be collecting signatures this evening and every evening until May 31 (and possibly later) at the 13 Fishermen pavilion from 4:45pm-6pm for the initiative petitions currently in circulation.
These petitions propose to:
Require a majority vote for governor and lieutenant governor; and Apply the Open Government Act to the Legislature.
If you haven't signed the petitions yet, or would like to pick up copies to collect signatures yourself, please stop by.
Also, please spread the word! Pass this email on and tell everyone you know to stop by the 13 Fishermen pavilion after work this week and next week, between 4:45 and 6pm. Your participation is needed. THANK YOU! .......GED......

Sunday, May 20, 2007


Research shows the following.........Sept 23, 2003 - A new study indicates that "beer goggles" may not work the same way for women as men. The more men drink the more likely they are to find a woman attractive, but found the reverse is true for women. Psychologist Andreas Mittermair, told a newspaper: "It has long been known that women do not have the same obsession with looks as men and are more interested in other qualities like personality. "But it was interesting that alcohol makes a man seem even less attractive to a woman and contradicts popular belief that alcohol will encourage a romantic mood for both sexes. "The study took a set of both male and female volunteers and asked them to grade pictures of the opposite sex from good-looking to ugly while sober. Different volunteers were then given varying amounts of alcohol and asked to perform the same task. "Without fail, drunken men rated girls several grades up the ladder in comparison with men who had graded the same pictures but had not been drinking, "Mittermair said. However, drunken women consistently gave pictures of men lower ratings than women who were sober. "We have to conclude that there is a significant connection between the alcohol level and the perception of beauty for men and women it just works the opposite way for both sexes," he said........My own personal conclusion..... Women gotta wear different goggles then the men. .......GED.....


Read the following story:......... My wife and I were sitting at a table at my 10th year high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife soon asked, "Do you know her?""Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.""My God!" said my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long? So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything...... So there you have it all in a neat little nutshell, how would you look at it? .....GED.....


Subject: THE PASTOR AND THE ASS: The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS IS THE BEST . The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races. The next day the local paper headline read: BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS. This was too much for the Bishop, so distressed he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent. The local paper, hearing of the news, Posted the following headline: NUN NOW HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the headlines read: NUN SELLS HER ASS FOR $10. This was too much for the Bishop, He ranted and raved angrily, and he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free. The next day the headlines read: NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS NOW FREE. Alas ... The Bishop committed suicide the next day. MORAL OF THE STORY??? Being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery and even make you wanna kill your own ass. So, be yourself and enjoy life..... So there you have it plain and simple, watch your own ass and don't worry about the others guys ass. .....GED....


CHINESE SICK LEAVE: Hung Chow calls into work and says, "Hey, I no come work to-day, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come work." The boss says, "You know something, Hung Chow, I really need you to-day. When I feel like this, I go to my wife and tell her to give me sex. That makes everything better and I go to work. You try that."Two hours later Hung Chow calls again. "I do what you say and I feel great. I be at work soon.... You got nice house."............
Yeah, I'll bet, nice wife too! ....GED....

Saturday, May 19, 2007


SO YOU THOUGHT A GALLON OF GAS IS EXPENSIVE? READ ON........All these examples do NOT imply that gasoline is cheap; it just illustrates how outrageous some prices are....You will be really shocked by the last one!!!! (At least, I was...) Compared with gasoline..............
Prices per gallon
Diet Snapple 16 oz $1.29 .... $10.32 per gallon
Lipton Ice Tea 16 oz $1.19 ....$9.52 per gallon
Gatorade 20 oz $1.59 .... $10.17 per gallon
Ocean Spray 16 oz $1.25 .... $10.00 per gallon
Brake Fluid 12 oz $3.15 .... $33.60 per gallon
Vick's Nyquil 6 oz $8.35 .... $178.13 per gallon
Pepto Bismol 4 oz $3.85 .... $123.20 per gallon
Whiteout 7 oz $1.39 .... $25.42 per gallon
Scope 1.5 oz $0.99 .....$84.48 per gallon
And this is the REAL KICKER...
Evian water 9 oz $1.49....$21.19 per gallon! $21.19 for WATER and the buyers don't even know the source. (Evian spelled backwards is Naive.)
Ever wonder why printers are so cheap? So they have you hooked for the ink. Someone calculated the cost of the ink won't believe it.... but it is true.... $5,200 a gal. (five thousand two hundred dollars)
So, the next time you're at the pump, be glad your car doesn't run on Water, Scope, or Whiteout, Pepto Bismol, Nyquil or God forbid, Printer Ink!!!!!
So there you have it. Now have a nice day!. .....GED.....


NEWS FLASH! - Saipans worst air disaster occurred when a small two-seater Cessna 150 plane, piloted by two University of Guam students, crashed into a cemetery earlier today. Search and Rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect the number to climb as digging continues into the evening. The pilot and copilot survived and are helping in the recovery efforts.
Only here.. .......GED......


A elderly woman from the CNMI was overheard saying... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Saipan . When asked why, she replied, she'd rather be in Saipan because everything happens in Saipan 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world.
So be it as it may. .....GED.....


This is so SILLY will boggle your mind (I kept laughing after I tried it 4 times....weird!!) And you will keep trying it at least 50 more times to see if you can outsmart your foot. But you can't!!! 1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles with it. 2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction!!! I told you so... And there is nothing you can do about it. Make sure you pass this on to your friends... They won't be able to do it either. .....GED......

Friday, May 18, 2007


Isn't this disgusting, How proud are you of your efforts here, to send your money into this cesspool of mismanagement and incompetence. Read about it in the newspapers as follows.........AFTER it was earlier burglarized and vandalized, the Koblerville Youth Center seems now to have turned into a dump site. The facility was built using funding from a federal Housing and Urban Development Block Grant but has not been open for operations since 2005 owing to the CNMI government’s lack of funding for the center. In March, burglars broke into the newly built center and stole two air conditioners. In following weeks, the facility was vandalized.“We have yet to formally open this center...but it has already been victimized by burglars and vandals, and now they want it to become a dumping site,” Concepcion said. Concepcion admitted that not a single cent has been allocated for the center’s operations due to the CNMI government’s financial crisis. He said they are scheduling the formal opening of the center for next month. .....Boy this should be a chuckle to watch, two years of "not a single cent" and they're gonna open it next month, Yeah right! I am so proud to inform you my fellow citizens that a formal opening will consist of begging for money, guaranteed! Only here, sick and tired of this kind of shit! ......GED......
c.c. George W. Bush
U.S. Congress


The MVA thinks that the tourists are no longer coming here because the air lines stopped their flights, not so, the airlines stopped coming here because the tourists stopped flying here. See who they blame (from the Tribune).......Due to reduced air service, Japan arrivals plunged by 28 percent last month, the lowest it has ever been since April 1989, according to the Marianas Visitors Authority.
MVA said this is the lowest arrival number in as single month from Japan since April 1989, when the arrivals were at 14,286.
“The continued decline is a direct reflection of reduced air service out of the Japan market,” said MVA.
“Unless we get additional air service out of Japan immediately, we are likely to see businesses continuing to close as well as reduced work hours and potential reductions in force throughout businesses on our islands,” said Aldan-Pierce....... WRONG... AIR FLIGHTS DID NOT REDUCE TOURISTS......LACK OF TOURISTS REDUCED AIR FLIGHTS!!!! Your silly Saipanda is not working, neither are all the governors little trips. Face the truth people don't want to come here anymore. Now you may ask, why? Think it might have anything to do with.... Here we go..... Undrinkable, dirty water?..... Daily power outages, at any given time?.....Red flagged beaches?..... Purse snatching and robberies?.....Outrages price gouging for tourists compared to locals?.....Graffiti on sacred memorials?.....Dirty trashed beaches?....I'll let you keep adding to this list if you like. This is finger pointing at its worst, wake up MVA and find the right reasons no one wants to come here, and don't blame the air-lines. They will fly here if there is a demand by people wanting to see this almost third world island. Place blame where it falls, it is not the air-lines. ......GED.....

Thursday, May 17, 2007


SO WHAT THE HELL IS YOUR HURRY, IS IT IGNORANCE AND / OR STUPIDITY?.. Why do you have to drive like maniacs to go ten or less miles? I'm driving on Beach Road or Middle road and you can never tell when the next idiot will come screaming by, only to be 20 feet in front of you at the next red light. What for? Gotta just be ahead, or is it a macho thing? I'm in the right lane, a fool screams past, swerves into the right lane and passes another car that is in the left lane, swerves back to the left lane and skids to a stop at the red light that he couldn't run through because traffic was already moving. I'm still right at the same place he is at, only I didn't kill, or endanger anyone to get there. Why are people here so stupid? For what ? Don't you realize there is nothing important enough to make one drive like idiots? Stop this ignorant shit. Drive like a human being. This is a small island, why would anyone be in such a hurry?
Where the hell are you going that is important enough to kill someone on the way? Stop the stupidity....... ......GED......


A WOMAN'S PRAYER : Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep. One who's handsome, smart and strong, one who loves to listen long. One who thinks before he speaks, one who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, when I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door. Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, knows what to answer to "how big is my behind?"I pray that this man will love me to no end, and always be my very best friend................. A MAN'S DREAM: I dream of a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs, who owns a liquor store and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme, I've got no time, and I don't really give a rip.
Now here's a poet who don't know it.. ....GED....


How true this little story is, give a little, then come the demands.
See for yourself.........A Sad Parallel...I bought a bird feeder. I hung it on my back porch and filled it with seed. Within a week we had hundreds of birds taking advantage of the continuous flow of free and easily accessible food. But then the birds started building nests in the boards of the patio, above the table, and next to the barbecue. Then came the poop. It was everywhere: on the patio tile, the chairs, the table...everywhere. Then some of the birds turned mean: They would dive bomb me and try to peck me even though I had fed them out of my own pocket. And others birds were boisterous and loud: They sat on the feeder and squawked and screamed at all hours of the day and night and demanded that I fill it when it got low on food. After a while, I couldn't even sit on my own back porch anymore. I took down the bird feeder and in three days the birds were gone. I cleaned up their mess and took down the many nests they had built all over the patio. Soon, the back yard was like it used to be...quiet, serene and no one demanding their rights to a free meal.Now lets see...our government gives out free food, subsidized housing, free medical care, free education and allows anyone born here to be a automatic citizen. Then the illegals came by the tens of thousands. Suddenly our taxes went up to pay for free services; small apartments are housing 5 families: you have to wait 6 hours to be seen by an emergency room doctor: you child's 2nd grade class is behind other schools because over half the class doesn't speak English: Corn Flakes now come in a bilingual box; I have to press "one" to hear my bank talk to me in English, and people waving flags other than "Old Glory", are squawking and screaming in the streets, demanding more rights and free liberties. Maybe it's time for the government to take down the bird feeder. ....Just what do you think about this? Drop me a comment. .....GED.....

Wednesday, May 16, 2007


OOPS, WE DIDN'T REALLY MEAN YOUR MONEY TOO. I find this very interesting........
ADIOS AMIGOS: Do you remember when Puerto Rico was raising heck about the US Navy using that nothing little island just off the coast of Puerto Rico for bombing practices, which they had used for the past 75 years? Demonstrations were held, Hollywood left wingers, Al Sharpton, and his fellow demagogues went down there to demonstrate to get the Navy out? I am sure it infuriated you just as it did me at the time. Well, here is our revenge. Always be careful what you ask for, you just may get it! One of the many headaches that the U. S. has had was the Puerto Rican Island of Vieques. In the waning years of the Clinton Administration protesters demanded that the US Navy abandon bombing and naval gunfire exercises that had taken place on the largely uninhabited island for nearly seventy years. Liberal icons bumped into one another to fly to Puerto Rico, boat over to the island, trespass (but never on a day that there was an exercise scheduled) and get arrested for the benefit of the New York Times or Newsweek. They included the Reverend Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Joan Baez, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., Edward Olmos, Michael Moore and Ramsey Clark, just to name a few. In 2002, the bombing exercises were transferred to an Air Force bombing range in central Florida, not far from the Jacksonville and Pensacola Naval Air Stations. In January, many of the protesters were back in Puerto Rico, celebrating the final bombing exercise on Vieques and waved Puerto Rican flags and placards that read "U. S. Navy, get out of Puerto Rico." The following February, Rumsfeld announced that the U. S. Navy will close the Roosevelt Roads Naval Air Station in Puerto Rico in 2004, eliminating 1200 civilian jobs as well as 700 military positions. This naval facility is estimated to have put nearly $300 million annually into the local economy. The next day a stunned Governor Sila Calderon, held a news conference in San Juan, protesting the base closure as a serious blow to the Commonwealth's fragile economy. The governor stated that "The people of Puerto Rico don't now or never did have an interest in closing the Vieques bombing range or the Roosevelt Roads naval base. We are interested in both staying in Puerto Rico. When asked, the Commander-in Chief, Western Atlantic Command, said, "Without Vieques, I see no further need for the facility at Roosevelt Roads. None." So, Yankee go home? Fine. But we'll take our dollars with us. Hasta la vista, baby!...... Don't bite the hand that feeds you. A good lesson for the CNMI to take to mind. Now have a very nice night! ....GED.....

Tuesday, May 15, 2007


Well this little lady just can't find any. Read on........Subject: Come to Florida. A young blonde woman was driving through the Florida Everglades while on vacation. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shop keepers, the blonde declared, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of shoes for free! "The shopkeeper said with a sly smile, "Well little lady, why don't you go on and give it a try? "The blonde headed off to the swamp, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky water, shotgun in hand. As he brings his car to a stop, he sees a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning reflexes, the blonde takes aim, shoots the creature and hauls it up onto the slippery bank. Nearby were seven more dead gators, all lying belly up. The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement. The blonde struggles mightily and manages to flip the huge gator onto its back. Then, rolling her eyes heavenward, she screams in frustration, Damn ! THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT TOO!!!!.... So there you go, have a wonderful day! .....GED......


I received this from a friend and he ask me to pass it along to you.
So here it is........
Bill of Non-Rights "We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights. ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything. ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be. ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy. ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!) ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care. ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!) ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights. ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....) ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH! ......... To all you people who like to hold your hands out, expect a free ride and think the world owes you a living. Get your asses in gear and do whatever you are wanting, you have the right to try to achieve anything, but they are not your given rights. ......GED.....


Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1- Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
Judge # 1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2- Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 - Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3- Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
>Chili # 4- Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT - just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5- Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed the paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6- Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
Chili # 7- Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili #8- Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.
So that's how the story goes..I'm in tears every time, by the time we get to the snow-cone.....
I've already lost it... ......GED........

Monday, May 14, 2007


Is this an enterprising guy or a fool? I guess the only way to tell is to see how many, and what kind of clients he attracts. He may need some really tall ladies or a soap box for 'um to stand on. Anyway let your imagine run where ever it may go. Now don't forget your annual exams. Now have a nice day! ......GED.....