THESE ARE THINGS YOU WILL NEVER HEAR A REDNECK SAY...You can rest assured these words will never be spoken by a good 'ole boy...
Duct tape won't fix that.
Lisa Marie was lucky to catch Michael.
.
Come to think of it, I'll have a Heineken.
We don't keep firearms in this house.
You can't feed that to the dog.
No kids in the back of the pick-up, it's not safe.
Wrasslin's fake.
Honey, did you mail that donation to Greenpeace?
We're vegetarians.
Do you think my hair is too big?
I'll have grapefruit instead of biscuits and gravy.
Who's Richard Petty?
Give me the small bag of pork rinds.
Deer heads detract from the decor.
Spitting is such a nasty habit.
I just couldn't find a thing at Wal-Mart today.
Trim the fat off that steak.
Cappuccino tastes better than espresso.
The tires on that truck are too big.
I'll have the arugula and ridicchio salad.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
Unsweetened tea tastes better.
I've got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.
Little Debbie snack cakes have too many fat grams.
She's too old to be wearing a bikini.
Does the salad bar have bean sprouts?
Hey, here's an episode of "Hee Haw" that we haven't seen.
I don't have a favorite college team.
Be sure to bring my salad dressing on the side.
I believe you cooked those green beans too long.
Those shorts ought to be a little longer, Darla.
Elvis who?
Got more???
.....GED.....
3 comments:
Man, I can't even pick the top ten favorites out of this list. My mom was traveling by car from TX to ME and called me one morning for advice. She had stopped for breakfast and was unable to find her usual bran muffin. Her question was; what are these things called grits? Actually, the conversation was a bit more spirited. All they had were grits. What are these grit things? Can't I get a simple bran muffin? And Red Eye gravy, I suppose you eat that sort of thing.
That was her last trip on the southern route by car. She moved to the land of fruit and nuts on the west coast, shortly thereafter.
Do you have lean Bacon?
I'd like my beer without ice?
This was a much longer list.. I deleted a lot of lines just to trim it down to these few lines.
There were many more..
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