Saturday, August 4, 2007

453- A STORY IN IDIOMS

A SHORT STORY, SEEKING A JOB
It's just another 'run of the mill' anecdote: I woke up early this morning 'at the crack of dawn' and 'feeling my oats' I decided I needed to 'make hay while the sun shines' so I thought I'd 'press my luck' and 'pull a few strings' down at the employment agency. So I 'grabbed a bite' and 'hit the road' knowing that it was 'a shot in the dark' to 'have great expectations' about my 'cold day in hell' chances of 'landing the big one.' To make things worse I was 'running on borrowed time' trying to get there 'faster than a bat outta hell' and be all 'bright eyed and bushy tailed' for my 'chance of a lifetime' meeting with the man who was 'holding the bag' of 'of missed opportunities' for others who took 'a swing in the dark, and missed'. Well I arrived just 'in the nick of time' to see 'my life flash before my eyes' when a huge truck 'scared the living shit outta me' and had me running 'like a raped ape' to 'dodge the bullet' hurtling toward me like a 'streak of white lighting'. But by 'a stroke of luck' all 'things turned out for the better' so I 'took a shot' at 'regaining my senses' and entered the agency to see if I could still 'get a lucky break' and 'catch some vibes' as to what the 'job at hand' may be. Well 'to make a long story short' I was 'shit outta luck' when the agent 'sent me packing' with my 'tail between my legs' and and told me not to 'cry over spilt milk' and that there 'are better days ahead' if only I would 'keep my chin up' and stop 'crying like a baby' so I 'kissed my ass good bye' and 'took it on the chin' knowing that 'that's the way the ball bounces.' And now the rest is history..... ....GED....

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