Saturday, December 8, 2007

835- THE 12 DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

ECONOMIZING ON CHRISTMAS PART 2 OF 4
THIS WILL BE AN ONGOING STORY OF THE TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS
Due to financial
constraints Christmas will become more efficient and a little less frivolous this year. Here are the steps being put into place...
How to accomplish the more efficient days of Christmas:
1- The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree never turned out to be the cash crop as forecast. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing a considerable savings in maintenance.
2- The two turtle doves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost-effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. Their positions are therefore eliminated.
3- The three French hens will remain intact though they will now cluck in English with only the hint of an accent, thus reaching a broader market share audience.
4- The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call-waiting option. An analysis is underway to determine who the birds have been calling, how often, and how long they talked.
5- The five golden rings have been put on hold by the Board of Directors. Maintaining a portfolio based on one commodity could have negative implications for institutional investors. Diversification into other precious metals as well as a mix of T-Bills and high technology stocks seems to be in order.
6- The six geese-a-laying constitute a luxury which can no longer be afforded. It has long been felt that the production rate of one egg per goose per day is an example of the decline in productivity. Three geese will be let go, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.
Each Saturday until Christmas I will add a part to this post to show how Christmas will be streamlined....
Watch next Sat 12/15 for the next part.
.....GED.....

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