Tuesday, December 4, 2007

825- KICKING OFF CHRISTMAS

WITH A SHORT TIME TILL CHRISTMAS AND THIS AIN'T NO BLUFF, THE SEASONAL MUST START WITH LOTS OF GOOD STUFF
We'll kick off the season with a lament from Santa....
Twas the night before Christmas, Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks. I have a good mind to scrap the whole works.
I've busted my ass for damn near a year instead of "Thanks Santa", what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night ... The elves want more money, the reindeer all fight.
Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids, Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better, the assholes from the IRS sent me a letter.
They say I owe taxes- if that ain't damn funny, Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus money?
And the kids these days, they are all the pits. They want the impossible, those mean little shits.
I spent the whole year making wagons and sleds, assembling dolls... their arms, legs and heads.
I made a ton of yo-yo's no request for them, they want computers and robots, they think I'm IBM.
If you think that's bad, just picture this, try holding these brats with their pants full of piss.
They pull on my nose, they grab at my beard and if I don't smile the parents think that I'm weird.
Flying through the air dodging the trees, falling down chimneys and skinning my knees.
I'm quitting this job, there's just no enjoyment I'll sit on my ass and collect unemployment.
There's no Christmas this year and you know the reason. I found me a blonde and gone South for the season.
Merry Xmas
.....GED.....

3 comments:

bigsoxfan said...

Oh! For Pete's sake, If I had any idea you would be this grouchy, I would have left you my blockbuster card Hie ye' to Don's and rent Prancer, Sam Elliot isn't as grouchy as you

bigsoxfan said...

Then again, once you read the paper here http://www.saipantribune.com/newsstory.aspx?newsID=74880&cat=1

A whole different day. I'm not saying if texas hold em is good for Saipan, but you would need a good sized team of mules to hold it back.

Anyway, Prancer is a great flick.

Boni said...

I'm getting the kids off to school. Saw your ribbon this morning and had to breathe deep. Thank you Glen.