Friday, April 11, 2008


The Story of Baron Von T. of Saipanolinia.. Story Here
Once upon a time a long, long time ago in the 21st century there was a country called Saipanolinia, ruled by an Emperor, his Council, a Baron and was home to many peons. Now the country was beautiful and many came to view the land of milk and honey. All agreed it was so beautiful that they would return to see more of this land of paradise. The land was bountiful and the crops grew in great quantities and all were happy and satisfied. At every harvest all worked for the Emperor harvesting the wheat that would be turned over to the Emperor who then divided it among everyone, there was enough for all, even enough to be sent to other lands, bringing even more wealth to the land.
But as the years rolled by, the evil Emperor in his greed failed to take care of the land, failed to replenish the soil and the land grew barren. A great dismay was cast upon this once land of paradise and others no longer came to see the bountiful land of milk and honey as all the riches were gone from the land.
Desperation and fear swept over the people for they became very poor and cried out to their Baron, Baron Von T. The wheat supplies had grown smaller and smaller and people were getting hungry and struggling to find food to put on their tables. There was weeping wailing and gnashing of teeth. The peons were in despair and cried to their Baron to go to the Emperor and his Council and beg for help to sustain them. But the Baron was a ruthless guy and scowled at the peons, “Go forth and weep at the feet of the Emperor and his Council yourselves, I will not do it for you for I have all I need, if you need help, prepare to beg for your own alms”, he commanded.
So the people approached the Council and humbly begged for a few grains of wheat, “only enough to feed our children,” they cried. But the Council was heartless too. “Take what you have and be dammed,” they replied, “we don’t have time for you poor peons.” The Emperor and his Council were so angry at the peons for begging for ‘just a few morsels’ that they took all the wheat from them and condemned them to starvation and homelessness.
The peons were so angry they joined together and rose up in a great rebellion crushing the Emperor, his Council and the Baron under a great wave of ballots, where they remain to this day.
And the people ruled and returned to the idyllic times and forgot the evil Emperor, his heartless Council and the ruthless Baron ever existed.
And life went on.... And the people prospered once again....


Marianas Pride said...

Glen, this is awesome! Did you really write it? Because if you did, we may have a children's book in the works!

Clean House 2009!!

glend558 said...

I just sat down and typed...

lil_hammerhead said...

The story is good Glen..

The Poll on legislators is great!

Can't wait to see the final results.

bigsoxfan said...

I got to admit Glenn, you were inspired on this one. I had a smile starting after the first few words and woke up the baby as I laughed when the Peons first came into play.

Anonymous said...

.....until the reality bombs began to fall and the real world strafing commenced....then the people realized they had traded in a petty tyrant for a ruthless and uncaring monster.

They lived to see their hard work stolen and they suffered ever more under the monster's tyrannical rule until at last they lost all...the land, their birthright, all their gains, gone.

And the monster didn't even flinch, didn't even notice the flea-like tiny realm he had tossed like a bone to his cronies and connected pals.

And the wailing and gnashing of teeth of the naive profederalists and their foreign worker sheep was heard for many leagues.

glend558 said...

But the monster (Who turned out to be the caring Uncle Sam, who rescued them once before in '46)didn't need to come.
The only reason the the Dear Uncle even noticed the sufferings of the peons was becuse of the loud cry for help of the peons, while holding out and wringing their hands and crying a river of tears for substances. "Please help us" they cried. All the people were desperate to be freed from the Evil Baron, and all needed help so desperately. It was that desperate call that rang clear in the ears good ole Uncle Sam, who knew he could help. After the good Uncle fed the peons and saw that all was well he became a loving uncle to all the people in the land of Saipanolinia. And the peons lived happily ever after..

cactus said...

You had a good allegory going there almost to the end, which should actually go something like this:

"The peons were so angry they joined together and -- rather than rising up in the great rebellion that could have restored justice and prosperity to their land -- called instead upon the Emperor of Federalia from across the sea, with powers many times greater those of the Emperor of Saipanolinia, to come and save them.

"And so the Emperor of Federalia came. He smote down the Emperor of Saipanolinia, and trampled him, and his Council, and the Baron into the dust, and placed his minions in their place to rule over the peons.

"But the new Emperor's minions soon lorded themselves over the peons as well. And even the former Emperor, his Council and the Baron ingratiated their way into the favor of the new Emperor and his minions, and resumed their former wicked ways.

"And the peons groaned, and sought to rise up against the new Emperor, as they had failed to rise up against the old. But their great wave of ballots, that could have swept away the old Emperor, lapped at the ankles of the new Emperor like a mere ripple in a pond, and the new Emperor laughed a great and mighty laugh.

"The peons repented of their folly in having called upon the Emperor of Federalia to save them, rather than saving themselves while they had the chance. And a great darkness fell across the land."

glend558 said...

Then out of the darkness there emerged a young woman. Wise beyond her years and bearing a burning desire to save her people. She arose like a mighty warrior and called on the Emperor of Federalia to allow the peons to once again raise their wheat and return the land into a paradise of milk and honey. The Emperor of Eederalia, in his all knowing wisdom granted the young woman her wishes and there was a great celebration amoungst the peons and the young woman led her people into an era of prosperity and happiness. And all the people returned once again to view the land of parsdise, and all agreed the young woman was the savior of their lands.

carlos the mackerel said...

The Emperor of Federalia in his all knowing wisdom?

Now I KNOW this is a fairy tale.