SURELY SAIPAN

You Know You're on Saipan, When...
• White people are called haolies (howl-ees)(Hawaiian for "without breath")
• When you order milk you are asked, "Do you want it warm, or cold?"
• "Plenty" means "a lot," as in, "I have plenty homework"
• Spam is not low class– it's a delicacy available in 10 varieties
• There are about 30 Mobil stations within a 3x12 mile radius and Gas is $3.29 a gallon
• Your last name is either Sablan, Deleon Guerrero, Camacho, Zepeda, Palacios, Villagomez, Manibusan, Borja, or any combination of these
• You may legally ride in the open backs of pick-up trucks, but if you're riding up front, you better have your seatbelts fastened!
• You have a maid when you're making $16,000/year
• Skinny people are all Japanese tourists
• Minimum wage is $3.05
• You can't buy alcohol (except in a bar) after 10pm.
• Your best bet to get elected is to get a lot of people drunk
• Your children's school snack consists of a large bag of chips, eggs, or sashimi
• No one has a mailbox (or address, for that matter). Everyone has a P.O. Box
• Smoke alarms? What are they?
• Stray Dogs/Muts are called Boonie dogs
• The power goes out a couple times a week
• TVs a week behind.
• Speed bumps outnumber traffic lights by the hundreds.
and, People have red teeth.
You have just taken a tour of Saipan and if you see these things listed above you are here, baby.

Now you have a very nice day! ..............GED............