221- HEADLINES

HEADLINES FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again......
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands......
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms......
Eye Drops off Shelf......
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids......
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66......
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax......
Miners Refuse to Work after Death......
Stolen Painting Found by Tree......
Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years......
SO THERE YOU HAVE IT.

Peace! ........GED.......

220- FLY SEX

YOU CAN TELL THE SEX OF FLIES!

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly: JUST TOO CUTE.
This is the cleanest E-mail joke I've come across in a long while!
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" She asked.
"Hunting Flies" He responded.
"Oh. Killing any?" She asked. "Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked. "How can you tell them apart?"
He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

How typical, good thinking on the "hunters" part. Now have a restful evening! .....GED......

219- TEST FOR DUMMIES

TRY THIS TEST, SEE IF YOU ARE A DUMMY TOO

Test for Dummies:... Below are four (4 ) questions and a bonus question. You have to answer them instantly. You can't take your time, answer all of them immediately OK? Let's find out just how clever you really are....
First Question:
You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you answered that you are first, then you are Absolutely wrong! If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
Try not to screw up next time. Now answer the second question, But don't take as much time as you took! For the first question, OK?
Second Question: If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: If you answered that you are second to last, then you are wrong again. Tell me, how can you overtake the LAST Person? You're not very good at this, are you?
Third Question: Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Try it.
Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000 . Now add 30 Add another 1000. Now add 20 Now add another 1000. Now add 10 What is the total?
Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
If you don't believe it, check it with a calculator! Today is definitely not your day, is it? Maybe you'll get the last question right.... ....Maybe.
Fourth Question:
Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini,4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
Okay, now the bonus round:
A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and, the purchase is done! Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? He just has to open his mouth and ask... It's really very simple.... Like you! Well how did you do are you too, a dummy? Have a pleasant day! ........GED.......

218- CLIFF FISHING

THE CLIFF FISHING DERBY IS COMING TO TINIAN, APRIL 6th-7th and 8th.

The Great Tinian Cliff Fishing DerbyAnglers vie for placements and prizes in three categories: Biggest Fish, Most Variety, Total Weight caught at official derby fishing points. Registration fee: $35.00. Deadline for entries: TBA. For more information, please contact Mr. Alex Sandbergen at the Tinian Municipal Council at (670) 433-3470 or (670) 433-2002 or MVA Tinian at (670) 433-9365, fax at (670) 433-0653, e-mail at municipalcouncil@tinianonline.com

So there you have it. If you enjoy fishing and competition this is for you, don't miss it. Now you get that fishing gear together. Have a very nice day! .....GED.....

217- FLAME TREE A SUCCESS

THE FESTIVAL IS OVER, AND A GREAT PRODUCTION IT WAS.

Pictured is one of the floats that participated in the parade.

The Borja family won $500 for winning the float competition. Saying it was their second time to participate in the contest, Ignacio Borja and his family portrayed aspects of the Chamorro cultural heritage on their float. Their float had a traditional house, family members in local attire, local fruit, vegetables and utensils as well as 200-year-old artifacts.

More about the festival.....The Parade of Cultures started early Saturday morning starting from the Oleai Beach Bar and Grill all the way up to the festival grounds. The parade though short compared to last year, was deemed successful by many due to the enduring participation of delegates from Guam, Republic of Palau, as well as from Rota and Tinian.
Right after the parade, a select panel of judges went from one booth to another to scrutinize the designs and layout of each participating booth for the Booth Competition.
Judges had hard time judging the booth as it took them before lunchtime to complete the list. In the end, the booth of artist and craftsman Bas Tajibmai took home first place. He won $500 for the award. It was a very good time for all, congratulations to all involved in putting this together. Enjoy your day!.. .......GED.......

216- D.C.MADAM

SHE THREATENS TO NAME NAMES
This DC madam, busted for operating a high end call girl ring, has all the smooth operators in Washington quivering in their patent leather shoes. A few excerpts.....The so-called "Beltway Madam" who ran an upscale escort service in the Washington, D.C.-area for 13 years faces a hearing on Thursday on what she can do with her phone records of clients. Deborah J. Palfrey, 50, who ran a call-girl service, took appointments from her California home and sent women to luxury hotels in Washington and Baltimore. Last week, a federal judge issued a restraining order on Palfrey and ordered her not to sell her list of 15,000 client phone numbers. Prosecutors have accused Palfrey of trying to intimidate potential witnesses by exposing them publicly. "Consideration is being given to selling the entire 46 pounds of detailed and itemized phone records for the 13-year period, to raise the requisite defense funds."Palfrey, who was indicted last week, is threatening to release her little black book of 15,000 clients on the Internet to pay for her defense.Palfrey said she has 46 pounds of phone records that could expose more than 15,000 clients.
Now my question is this..... Why the hell don't they just legalize this anyway? These dummys are the lawmakers, aren't they? So stop all this bullshit and do away with the laws against the very things you continue to patronize your very own selves. Wadda you think?......GED.......

215- BREAKFAST

WATCH WHAT YOU KICK, OR YOU WON'T GET ANY.
The following story clearly explains this theory.
Here it is........No Bacon & eggs
A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores. "Not yet," said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast till the chores are done. Well, he's a little pi**ed, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast, and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal. "How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks. Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week, either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk." Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.The little boy looks up at his mother and with a smile says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?.... So you need to be very careful as to what you are going to kick. ....Now have a very nice day! ....GED....

214- FLOODING

NEWS ALERT, THE NORTHEAST IS UNDER FLOOD WARNINGS, Residents go the extra mile to help one another.
You can help too. Why should we not push this car? Any one wanna help? Just a little bit more and you are out of the woods, ohh, is that outta the flood? Nice looking pussers...I mean pushers. Gdn night! ....GED ....

213- TRY THIS

SIMPLE MATH, CAN YOU FOLLOW THIS ONE?
Just click on this link and follow the directions.
http://digicc.com/fido
Click the little guy on the bottom right to advance the puzzle.
Now have a perplexing moment, and a very nice day!
.....GED.......

212- TRAVEL GUFFS

SOMETIMES EVEN TRAVEL AGENTS CAN GET CONFUSED
Here are some stories from a travel agents book of bloopers. Here we go........... I have been a Travel Agent for thirty Years. This is why we're in trouble!
I had a New Hampshire Congresswoman ask for an aisle seat so that her hair wouldn't get messed up by being near the window........ I got a call from a lawmaker's wife who asked, "Is it possible to see England from Canada ?" I said, "No." She said, "But they look so close on the map."........
An aide for a Bush cabinet member once called and asked if he could rent a car in Dallas . When I pulled up the reservation, I noticed he had only a 1-hour layover in Dallas . When I asked him why he wanted to rent a car, he said, "I heard Dallas was a big airport, and we will need a car to drive between the gates to save time."........ An Illinois Congresswoman called last week. She needed to know how it was possible that her flight from Detroit left at 8:20 a.m. and got into Chicago at 8:33 a.m. I tried to explain that Michigan was an hour ahead of Illinois , but she could not understand the concept of time zones. Finally, I told her the plane went very fast, and she bought that!.......
I just got off the phone with a freshman Congressman who asked, "How do I know which plane to get on?" I asked him what exactly he meant, to which he replied, "I was told my flight number is 823, but none of these darn planes have numbers on them.".......
A senior Senator called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China . After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him that he needed a visa. "Oh, no I don't. I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those." I double checked and sure enough, his stay required a visa. When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express!"
Have a very nice trip!...... ...........GED...........

211- SPEEDING?

THIS IS A PICTURE I COULDN'T PASS UP
You must click on this one to get the total effects. As I was doing some research the other day I came upon this photo, I just couldn't resist downloading it for my files, so I'm passing it along to you to get a chuckle. Is the guy on the donkey really speeding, needs a radar gun? Check the red light on the policeman's donkey..too good to miss. I don't see any speed limit signs so we just gotta guess what the speed may be..2 MPH? There ya go, now have a very nice day!
........GED........

210- STILL BROKE

WHERE THE HELL WAS THE PROMISED SURPRISE?
I guess it was that he had the courage to stand in front of all the people and tell them something they knew all to well. I guess the "surprise" thing was just to divert some attention from the complete failure he had to stand there and announce to all listening. Some excerpts of the "surprise".....Fitial: NMI govt is 'STILL BROKE'
The surprise was that there was no surprise.
True to his word, Gov. Benigno R. Fitial reported the state of the Commonwealth as it is. The government is “still broke,” he said yesterday, and “better times” will take some time."
“Last year I reported to you that the CNMI government was broke. Today I stand before you to report that we are still broke."...( means even more broke)
Toward the end, he responded to criticism that he had failed to deliver his election promise two years ago, which was to bring “better times” to the Commonwealth.
“Better times is a hope, an aspiration, a dream, and I have not given up on that hope for the CNMI. My dream is still very much alive," he said....... Now for the photo-op, just another good buddy picture aimed at Washington, has no impact here, these guys don't even like each other.
Different political parties, you know how that works. (See my post-#206- on bullshitting.)......Well you have a much better time today, now that you have received your "surprise". ........GED.......

209- A HORSE TAIL

A TRUE STORY ABOUT A HORSE, OF COURSE

It was late and I needed a rest........BERLIN - An early-morning German bank customer had a bit of a shock when he found a horse already in line at the automatic teller machine in front of him. It seems the horse's owner, identified only as Wolfgang H., had a bit too much to drink the night before and decided to sleep it off inside the bank's heated foyer, police said Tuesday. The 40-year-old machinist told Bild newspaper he had had "a few beers" with a friend in Wiesenburg, southwest of Berlin, and decided to hit the hay in the bank on his way home.
"It was late, it was already dark and cold," he was quoted as saying.
Confronted with the lack of a hitching-post, he brought the 6-year-old horse, named Sammy, in along with him.
When a customer came across the horse and sleeping rider in the bank at 4:15 a.m. Monday, he called police, who then came and woke the owner up and sent him on his way.
No charges were filed, but there might be some cleanup needed: Apparently Sammy made his own after-hours deposit on the carpet..... No RUI was given. A "few beers" does this to some people so be wary when you have a "few". Good luck to all today... ......GED......

208- BLAHS

THE MORNING BLAHS
Did you ever get up and feel like you shouldn't be getting up? Have the droopy-eyed, dry mouthed, pizza breath, leave me the hell alone syndrome? Do you look like this little pussy pictured here? Just totally hate the world, have that wish you weren't born kinda feeling? Well I feel so sorry for you, I'm wretched with passion, I know and feel your pain and agony. I hear your grumblings and bitching, I can sense in my very soul just how much you are hurting............
Now get the hell outta here and put your annoying, pain-in-the-ass attitude on someone else!.....GED......

207- THE SATISFIED FROG

CRAZY ED'S SATISFIED FROG IN CAVE CREEK, ARIZONA
We were building a golf course called ''The Boulders" near by so every day this was the place to catch happy hour. We spent quite a few hours there, playing some liars poker and knocking down some of Ed's beers. A very unique place, if I must say so myself. I can remember one peculiar evening when we had a rattlesnake alert. It seemed the house adjacent to the "Frog" had a loose rattler in the garden. Now you got to remember this is desert, cactus, rocks, prickly bushes, a lott'a stuff for a rattler to slither about in. Well we never did find it, that being a blessing in disguise, as we were probably not in the frame of senses to deal with a rattler safely, anyway.
The frog himself, right here, this is the sign over the entrance. The daily god of grog, our five o'clock savior. You gott'a try the chili beer, The ''Frog'' is famous for this little, knock your socks off, hot stuff, only to be consumed with food stuffs. Oh, bye the way, just down the road you will find another spot "The Horny Toad", a companion for the ''Frog''. If you are ever near Phoenix visit Cave Creek and the ''Frog". So good bye for now and pleasent tomorrows. .........GED.........

206- BEN and PETE

BULL SHITTING AT ITS FINEST. YOU KNOW IT WHEN YOU SEE AND HEAR IT.
This is the best example of of bullshitting you can view today. These guys don't even like each other yet they want you to think all is well and good. Read this caption to this photo.......Gov. Benigno R. Fitial, left, shakes hands with Washington Rep. Pete A. Tenorio, while Lt. Gov. Timothy P. Villagomez looks on yesterday at the administration building on Capital Hill. These guys can smile like a Cheshire cat while their boots fill up. Disgusting! Now some more of the story, and you decide if they, regardless of the bull coming out of their mouths, are good buddies, as they would like you to believe. here it is.....
GOVERNOR Benigno R. Fitial and Washington Rep. Pete A. Tenorio yesterday said that despite their differences on certain CNMI issues, their relationship remains “good” and “harmonious.” (bullshit). A-HA, they have "differences", now what are they? “We get along and we’re now (only for this photo op) working as a team.” But the governor reiterated his strong opposition to the federalization of the local minimum wage and immigration, which he admitted was different from the position of Tenorio, who advocates a “middle ground.” Never fear we can even laugh in the face of total ruin. Now you don't worry a bit, bullshit washes off. Go ahead, read about all the barbs they hurled at each other the last few weeks in the local newspapers. Then you decide. Now you have a good one. ......GED......

205- JEEP LIBERTY

A BLACK JEEP LIBERTY
Here is a story about a jeep liberty, only a fool would do something this stupid, but here it is...........NORWALK, Conn. - A Bridgeport man has been arrested after he tried to trade in a Jeep to a car dealer, a month after allegedly stealing the same Jeep from that same dealer, police said Jazrahel King, 29, was arrested Saturday after a sales manager at Wholesalers of America recognized King's 2003 black Jeep Liberty as a vehicle that was stolen from his lot in early March.
The sales manager, Diego Coleman, said King brought the sport utility vehicle in, hoping to trade up for a larger vehicle.
"I was left speechless. I couldn't believe that he would try to take back another car and he didn't think we would recognize him," Coleman said Monday.
King had come to the dealership last month to test-drive some vehicles, Coleman said. But there was a problem with King's credit, so salesmen at the dealership scrubbed the test-drives.
Coleman said he last saw King wandering around the lot as he was preparing the Jeep for a man who had just bought it. The keys were left in the Jeep.
Then the Jeep and King disappeared, Coleman said.
When police inspected King's Jeep Saturday, they found that the key ring was the same as those issued by Wholesalers of America.
The temporary plate on the vehicle belonged to the dealership and documents found inside showed it belonged to the dealership, Sgt. Ronald Pine said.... stupid criminals at their stupidest.
Now you have a very beautiful day! .......GED........

204- TROOPERS

A FEW MOMENTS OF HUMOR IN BLUE. GOOD.. A Madison, WI policeman had a perfect spot to watch for speeders but wasn't getting many. Then he discovered the problem; a 12-year-old boy was standing up the road with a hand painted sign which read "RADAR TRAP AHEAD" . The officer also found the boy had an accomplice who was a bit further down the road with a sign reading "TIPS" and a bucketful of money. (And we sold lemonade!)
BETTER.. A motorist was mailed a picture of his car speeding through an automated radar post in La Crosse, WI. A $50 speeding ticket was included. Being cute, he sent the police department a picture of $50.00 dollar bill. The police responded with another mailed photo of handcuffs. BEST.. A young woman was pulled over for speeding. The State Trooper walked to her car window flipping open his ticket book. She said, "I bet you are going to sell me a ticket to the State Trooper's Ball. He replied, "State Troopers don't have balls." There was a moment of silence. He then closed his book, got back in his patrol car and left. I'll leave you to ponder these little bits of life's great experiences...

.....GED.....

203- ALABAMA

HOME OF THE CRIMSON TIDE, LYNYRD SKYNYRD, MIKE HATHCOCK, REDNECKS AND GOOD 'OLE BOYS.
A coup'la short stories from Alabama......... The owner of a golf course in Alabama was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.
He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from The University of Alabama and I need some help. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
The secretary thought a moment, then replied, "Everything but my earrings."
You gotta love those Alabama women............
The young man from Alabama came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!"
Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?
"The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."
Now you know a little bit 'bout 'bama, sort of........ Have a lovely day.... ..........GED.........

202- IN AND OUT

A TALE OF THREE SKUNKS.....This is a story about a mother skunk, Ms. Pee-u, and her young twin sons, In and Out. Now Out was a good young skunk and always stayed in with his mother and never went out, while In liked to go out, and never stayed in. One day In went out and didn't come back in. So mother sent Out out to bring In in.Very quickly Out came in, bringing In back in from being out. Mother was surprised and ask, Out, how did you go out and bring In in so fast? Well you see, Out replied, In-stinked. So now you also know the in's and out's. Now have a bouquet day! .........GED.......

201- OUT...IN

OUT WITH THIS IDIOT!
<-----

IN WITH THIS MUCH SMARTER WOMAN.

----->

JUST MY

"VIEW"

.......GED.......

200- IT'S # 200!

WE HAVE ARRIVED! POST..... # 200. A CELEBRATION!
Today marks yet another milestone in the 558. Twenty-six days on "the air" and still going, and going, and..... Well you know what I mean..... Now thanks to everybody for reading this, you're the reason to write. To newcomers.. I'll explain briefly how to work this blog...... There are 30 posts per page, and 7 pages, just scroll down to read the first 30 posts. At the bottom of the 1st page find "Older Posts", click on this and the 2nd page of 30 posts will appear, and so on till you have read them all. You can also click any title on the right hand side, (a column of titles) then you can read each post individually. So there you go, and here we are. A tip, you need to follow everyday or you will get lost. Now have a very,very good day!
........GED.........

199- Y'A WANNA BET

EVER THOUGHT ABOUT BETTING ON HOW LONG YOU WILL LIVE? WELL THIS GUY DID ...AND WON!
An interesting story from Britain........ It reads as follows: LONDON (Reuters) - A British man celebrated his 100th birthday with 25,000 pounds ($50,000) in winnings on Tuesday after he beat the bookmakers with a wager that he would live for a century. Alec Holden, from Epsom, south west of London, had placed a 100 pound bet with bookmaker William Hill almost 10 years ago that he would live to be 100 years old.
The retired engineer said a daily diet of porridge and playing chess was the key to his longevity -- as was remembering to keep breathing.
"When we started taking these bets, a 100 years old seemed to be an almost mythical landmark and we were prepared to offer massive odds," said Rupert Adams of William Hill.
"But these age wagers are starting to cost us a fortune."
There you go, an interesting tale at its finest. Now the rest of the story.....It reads as follows: LONDON, A 100 year old man died today, just 14 hours after winning $50,000.00 on a strange bet he never told any one about, until today when he collected his loot. So sorry to see the old man go with all that cash in his pocket, he never got a chance to spend, no, not even a dime. So as Frank S. would say, "That's Life". So be it. Now you have a restful night. ....GED.....

198- LABOR CASE

A LABOR CASE GONE TERRIBLY WRONG

Caption to the picture......Buddhi Lal Dhimal, a Nepalese, lies on the floor after setting himself on fire yesterday morning at the hallway of the Department of Labor office in San Antonio. He is shown here covered by particulates from the fire extinguisher used to put out the fire.Police said Buddhi Lal Dhimal, 49, poured flammable liquid on his body and set himself on fire before a Labor enforcement officer outside the Labor Enforcement Office.

The rest of the story in part........Dhimal was taken to the Commonwealth Health Center. He sustained second and third degree burns on his body. He will be taken to an off-island hospital for further treatment. Ogumoro said the person had a bottle of flammable liquid and a cigarette lighter. Witnesses said Dhimal started shouting and poured the liquid on his body and ignited his lighter.“He [Dhimal] was shouting on his way out. I was right in the middle when he was pushed to the floor as he was engulfed in flames. .We had to pin him down, we tried to cover him but at the same time we requested for the fire extinguisher to be operated. It was just a matter of seconds,” Deleon Guerrero said. Must be desperation, the need to have a job. Just goes to show how some people will do about anything to survive. Now you do have a very nice day!

........GED.........

197- BLUE ANGELS

AWESOME, ABSOLUTELY, AWESOME

U.S.NAVY F/A-18 HORNETS. A magnificent flying machine at its best. Used by the US Navy in air shows all around the world. If you ever get a chance to watch these guys, do it!

A Blue Angel formation thunders overhead at one of its many air shows. More information the Blue Angels to follow...............The U. S. Navy’s Flight Demonstration Squadron
The Blue Angels’ mission is to enhance Navy and Marine Corps recruiting efforts and to represent the naval service to the United States, its elected leadership and foreign nations. The Blue Angels serve as positive role models and goodwill ambassadors for the U. S. Navy and Marine Corps.
A Blue Angels flight demonstration exhibits choreographed refinements of skills possessed by all naval aviators. It includes the graceful aerobatic maneuvers of the four-plane Diamond Formation, in concert with the fast-paced, high-performance maneuvers of its two Solo Pilots. Finally, the team illustrates the pinnacle of precision flying, performing maneuvers locked as a unit in the renowned, six-jet Delta Formation.
The team is stationed at Forrest Sherman Field, Naval Air Station Pensacola, Florida, during the show season. However, the squadron spends January through March training pilots and new team members at Naval Air Facility El Centro, California.
The Blue Angels are scheduled to fly 66 air shows at 35 air show sites in the United States during the 2007 season, as the team celebrates 20 years of flying the F/A-18 Hornet. Last season, more than 15 million spectators watched the Blue Angels perform. Since its inception in 1946, the Blue Angels have performed for more than 427 million fans.
In recognition of: A Navy Blue Angel jet crashed during a maneuver, April 22nd. The military identified the fallen pilot as a 32-year-old who was performing in one of his first air shows with the team. Lt. Cmdr. Kevin J. Davis of Pittsfield, Mass. was in his second year with the Blue Angels, the team known for its high-speed and aerobatic demonstrations. So there you have it and here you go, have a high flying afternoon. ......GED.....

196- SHARKS

NOT A VERY GOOD POSITION TO BE IN..... (click on pic.)
It looks to me the shark could eat kayak and all in it. A time for a prayer indeed if you are inclined to do so. If you aren't inclined to pray it is still a good time to start.
Actually the guy in the kayak is in no danger if he stays in the kayak. You do hear about shark attacks, but to the shark, its only a natural way to find dinner. Here in the Marianas Islands I personally have never heard of a shark attack, that doesn't mean there weren't any, just that in 14 years of living here, I never heard of one. But on the flip-side of this story, I'd still be striping my trunks if that big guy was trailing me! If you know what I mean. Now have a pleasant day at the beach, and don't dream about sharks tonight! .....GED.....

195- WHERE TO SHOP

HERE IS THE FIRST PLACE TO GO TO START THAT NEW LIFE YOU WERE ALWAYS WISHING YOU HAD, BUT NEVER COULD FIND THE PLACE TO TO GET EVERYTHING AT ONCE..WELL HERE IT IS ALL IN ONE PLACE.

NOW HERE IS THE SECOND STOP, FOR ALL THE EXTRAS YOU WERE WISHING FOR AFTER YOU MADE THAT FIRST STOP.
NOW HAVE A HAPPY LIFE! ......GED.......

194- GRIN'IN

HAVE YOU BEEN GRIN'IN TODAY? LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT A GRIN.
Now you see a grin is different then a smile. I'm gonna tell you how that is. See you can smile any time you want, you can fall down, embarrass your ass to king-dome come, still you can stand up and smile at your idiocy. You can smile at a foe or advisory, even laugh in the face of danger.... but when you are grin'in, hey the world is good, grin'in feels special , real good inside yup, grin'in is happiness with out a care, a come whatever may attitude. Don't even give a shit, to hell with it all, yup, grin'in the way to feel good, happy, devil may care........ Move your cursor on the cigar to get my message to you today!..... Have a very good'un. Keep on grin'in!... ..........GED..........

193- TAXES GRT

ENOUGH OF THESE TRIPLE, QUADRUPLE TAXES ON THE SAME THING. ( GRT= Gross Receipt Taxes.)
Mr. M brews a bottle of beer in China, and sends it to Mr. W. on Saipan. Now Mr. W don't pay GRT's at this point because he has not sold anything yet, but wait. He pays import taxes, shipping taxes, tariffs, anything the govmt. can get their grubby fat hands on. Now this is not my point, it's from there onward. Mr. W. (wholesaler) sells it Mr D. (distributor) Mr. W. pays GRT's on his sale= gov. paid #1. Mr. D sells it to a Mr. M. (middle man) Mr. D pays taxes on, (not only his costs but his profit)= govt. paid#2. Mr. M. in turn sells it again to a retail outlet, Mr. R. Now Mr. M pays taxes on (not only his cost but his profits also) =gov. paid#3. Now I go to the retailer(Mr. R) and purchase this same bottle of beer, now Mr. R pays taxes, on (not only his costs but his profit too.)= gov. paid#4. Now I take it to the Midnight Karaoke and sell it to you. I now pay GRT taxes again,= gov. paid #5 (not only on the costs but the profits too.) The greedy government now has been paid 5 times on 1 bottle of beer. Now do you wonder why things cost so much?????? .......Good morning! ....GED.....

192- FORT STOCKTON.. FLASHBACK I

FORT STOCKTON, TEXAS

BOY DOES THAT BRING BACK MEMORIES OF LONELY NIGHTS ON THE HI-WAY AND TRUCK STOPS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE.
I can still remember the night I ran out of gas, at 2:00 A.M. about 40 miles east of Fort Stockton, on Interstate 10, in West Texas. I turned onto an off ramp that said, "Gas, Entering Bakersfield. The next sign I saw was, you are "Leaving Bakersfield." To make a long story short, I flat ass ran out of gas about 5 miles later. Now I could see Fort Stockton in the distance, looked like it was just a skip down the road... but noooo, it was 35 miles away. Thumbing down a diesel semi on the C.B. radio, we rode into the town, bought some gas, ate a little breakfast and returned to the task of getting back to our, out of gas, pick-up truck. Now this took a whole new other ride, to go back the same way we just thumbed from coming the other way.... It took 4 hours to be "on the road again" Yes, Fort Stockton, never forget it, ever.

.....GED.....

191- POVERTY, THANKS, GOV.

$ 3.05 x 40 hrs= $122.00 per wk. x 52= $ 6,344.00 per year. Can you live on this?

Lets put this in prospective..
How would you live on this, think about it, do you make that rate? How would like to have the taxes you pay on this meager amount to be spent by our idiot governor(who dosen't have a 30% mandate, I may add.) to keep them that way, to use your money to freeze your wages. $3.o5 ain't shit. A gallon of gas, a 3 pk of Budweiser beer, a pack of cigarettes, two loaves of bread, can't be bought by one hour of hard work, pouring cement, laying concrete blocks, all for $3.05. Stop this ripoff of the working men and women. Our productive ones!
Any body have any other ideas? Have a pay-less payday to see how it feels! .....GED.....

190- DID YOU SUPPORT TINA ?

I AM SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU, I ASK YOU TO SUPPORT TINA SABLAN AND HER QUEST TO MAKE THE CNMI BETTER. DO YOU KNOW WHAT I GOT..... NOT ONE, UNO, ZILCH, NOTHING FROM YOU, no replies, no "comments". No ideas, no signatures of support, nobody seems to care! Are all of you going to stay mute,( they call it dumb, when you can't talk) What the hell is your opinion, speak out and help improve this place! If you can't say what you think, who do you think is gonna speak for you? You can write anything you would like to say, right here , right now, write it to me, I'll print it. Don't be afraid, as some of you are. You will feel sooooo good if you speak out. now remember to have a very nice day! ......GED......

189- NUCLEAR POWER

WE HAVE A VERY PRESSING ISSUE HERE, LETS THINK ABOUT IT... People have been offering a very interesting idea to us, the CNMI, to get out of our independence on Middle East Oil. The very same oil you pay, out you ass, to produce your power. $80.00 dollars a barrel, insane! You now pay (depending on your status) .24 / to .30+ per KWH. These guys say .03 to .05 per KWH., with a nuke power plant. Now let me show you something... First the cost is reduced by100%. Lets say it is like this. If your bill is $300.00 It would now change to $30.00, with nuke power.

Here is a map of all the nuke plants in the US. Did you ever hear of one of them being a problem? I know Three Mile Island scared some people, but that was 30 years ago, things have improved.

Some facts.....A nuclear meltdown does not cause a nuclear explosion because the core geometry and composition of a nuclear reactor does not permit a significant fraction of nuclear fuel to be burned without thermal effects stopping the reaction.... Now if you can understand that you must be a nuclear scientist, which we are not. But you can understand this...The USA is the most advanced country in the world, exceeding North Korea and Iran who are dabbling in this field trying to develop, and produce nuclear power. We are the ones who developed this, we know how it is. I say use the nukes.....Case closed,.. and if you can't comment , never mind. Now you think and be smart!..... ........GED.......

188- GUNS

EVERY TIME SOME IDIOT KILLS WITH A GUN, ANOTHER GROUP OF IDIOTS ARGUE ABOUT THE GUN LAWS.
It never fails. Someone gets shot and out come the gun reformers.
Simple facts: Guns don't kill people, people kill people.
Criminals don't follow the laws, they make their own. No laws what-so-ever will ever deter a criminal from doing his deed. If a crazy is out to get someone, they will find a way. Now suppose this guy uses an SUV to run over 20 people, will they call for the laws to ban SUV's, we could go on and on with this till the cows come home and never find a resolution.
A few quotes: Free men have guns, subjects don't.
You'll only get my gun when you pry it from my cold dead fingers.... Some more famous quotes.....A gun is a tool. No better, no worse than any other tool. An axe, a shovel, or anything. A gun is as good or as bad as the man using it." ....Thomas Jefferson (1743 - 1826), 3rd president of US. No free man shall ever be debarred the use of arms " ... The strongest reason for the people to retain the right to keep and bear arms is, as a last resort, to protect themselves against tyranny in government "
The Dalai Lama: "If someone has a gun and is trying to kill you, it would be reasonable to shoot back with your own gun." (May 15, 2001, The Seattle Times)
Larry Elder: "A person who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders."
Attorney General John Ashcroft: "Just as the First and Fourth Amendment secure individual rights of speech and security respectively, the Second Amendment protects an individual right to keep and bear arms. Your opinions are welcome... Now you have a very safe day! ....GED.....

187- CONFUSED?

DO YOU REALLY KNOW WHAT TO DO IN THESE CASES?
Sometimes signs can be misleading but this one is a baffler.







It says to "keep off the grass" is there something we don't see here, or is the sign designed to confuse the more mentally challenged.
Stay sane! .......GED........

186- MIND TEASERS

12 THOUGHTS TO BE PONDERED, AND LESSONS TO BE TAKEN

1. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
2. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
3. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.
4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.
6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.
9. If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.
10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
12. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

Now you have a very wonderful day, and always take these words to heart. ........GED.......

185- TINA SABLAN

TINA SABLAN NEEDS YOUR SIGNATURE ON THIS LETTER.... If you are interested to have this request answered by the Members of the Legislature contact Tina at the e-mail address included below or contact her at http://www.thecnmi.com/ While you are there read all about Tina's efforts to improve our island government. (Click above)

Concerned CNMI residents, taxpayers, and voters

P.O. Box 500994
Saipan, MP 96950

15th CNMI Legislature
P.O. Box 500586
Saipan, MP 96950
April 23, 2007

RE: REQUEST FOR FULL DISCLOSURE OF ALL LEGISLATURE EXPENDITURES

Dear Representatives and Senators of the 15th CNMI Legislature,

In the interests of fostering a more open and transparent government, the signatories below are writing to you to request full disclosure of all expenditures that have been made by your office in the last two years. Please include expenditures related to discretionary funds, subsistence allowances, travel, and personnel.

As you may be aware, the issue of government accountability has been vigorously discussed at recent public forums. Much interest has been expressed, in particular, in the expenditures of our legislators. Although we are aware that a law was passed by the 9th Legislature to exempt the Legislature from the Open Government Act (Public Law 9-2), we believe nevertheless that as CNMI residents, taxpayers, and voters, we have the right to know how public funds are being spent by our elected officials. We hope that you agree.

To respond to this request, or for further information, please contact Tina Sablan at:

Email: tinasablan@gmail.com
Tel: 233-0770
Mailing address: P.O. Box 500994 Saipan, MP 96950

We would greatly appreciate a response within thirty (30) days from the date of this request, no later than May 16, 2007.

Thank you very much for your time and assistance. We look forward to hearing from you soon.

Sincerely,

/s/ Eugenio Sablan, Tina Sablan, Roger Ludwick, Glen Hunter, Sapuro Rayphand, Martha Mendiola, Gregorio Sablan, Samuel E. McPhetres, Carmela Sablan, Glen Doutrich

Thanks for your support for helping have an open, responsible and accountable government.
(Click on "comments" to add your name) ...........GED..........

184- DUCKS and PUDDLES

A TALE OF THREE DUCKS.

Three little ducks go into a Bar.............................."Say, what's your name?" the bartender asked the first duck."Huey," was the reply. "How's your day been, Huey?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. What else could a duck want?" said Huey. "Oh. That's nice," said the bartender. He turned to the second duck, "Hi, and what's your name?" "Dewey," came the answer from duck number two." So how's your day been, Dewey! ?" he asked."Great. Lovely day. I've had a ball too. Been in and out of puddles all day myself. What else could a duck want?" The bartender turned to the third duck and said, "So, you must be Louie?" "No," she said, batting her eyelashes."My name is Puddles."

Now you know what to do on a rainy day! .....GED....

183- PRINCE PHILLIP

HERE'S WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO....... CLICK ON THIS PICTURE, WHEN IT IS ENLARGED, TAKE A LOOK AT ALL THE EXPRESSIONS ON THE ROYALS FACES.
What do you think just happened to create these reactions. Try to come up with the reason for this behavior. Look closely at how Prince Harry is reacting. Could we come to the conclusion that Prince Phillip farted. Look again and see if you can come to this same point of reasoning.... How many, of you, think a fart could have been the cause of all these reactions?
Now you enjoy your afternoon! ........GED......

182- HEADLINES

SOME INTERESTING LINES TAKEN FROM THE NEWS.
READ 'UM TWICE.
So here they are and go like this..........
Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Stud Tires Out
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
War Dims Hope for Peace
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
Now if you have a few to add just hit "comments" and add 'um in.
Now you have a real nice dinner tonight! ........GED.........