Tuesday, October 16, 2007


Take it away:
"I worked in a pet store and people asked how big I'd get."
"I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof."
"My uncle's dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap. He was in the electric chair.
"I went to a freak show and they let me in for nothing."
"Once when I was lost.. I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him...Do you think we'll ever find them.? He said..I don't know kid.. there are so many places they can hide."
"I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor... so they sent a priest up to talk to me. He said.. On your mark..."
"I had a lot of pimples too. One day I fell asleep in a library. I woke up and a blind man was reading my face."
"My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday"
"My marriage is on the rocks again. Yeah..my wife just broke up with her boyfriend."
"My friends and I played a new version of Russian roulette. We passed around six girls and one of them had VD."
"I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest."
"I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow. He told me to wear a brown necktie."
"My psychiatrist told me I'm going crazy. I told him...If you don't mind I'd like a second opinion...he said... Alright...you're ugly too!"
"I was so ugly...my mother used to feed me with a sling shot!"
A needed break from politics and problems. Maybe we should just stay in this dimension...

No comments: