LITTLE QUIPS TO BRIGHTEN YOUR DAYReasons To Smile:
*Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
*Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
*Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
*Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
*I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
*And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
*When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
*Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
*There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
*Why are men like laxatives? They irritate the shit out of you.
*And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
*When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."
*Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
*There are two kinds of pedestrians -- the quick and the dead.
*Why are men like laxatives? They irritate the shit out of you.
And finally, my favorite....
*When I was a little boy, we were so poor my mammy cut a hole in my pocket so I would have something to play with.
.....GED.....
.....GED.....
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