813- SOME POSITIVE NEWS

FINALLY WE GET SOME POSITIVE NEWS FOR A CHANGE

Kudos to all but Luis Crisostimo for approving this lease agreement, shaky Luis wanted to be different again but clearer heads prevailed.
Here is part of the story...
Saturday, December 01, 2007
40-year LaoLao lease OK'd
Approval signals start of $100M Kumho dev't plan
Kumho Asiana and the local business community breathed a sigh of relief yesterday after the Legislature granted the new owner of LaoLao Bay Golf Resort a fresh 40-year lease of the Kagman property. The Senate and House of Representatives voted unanimously to approve Kumho Asiana's proposal to lease the 161-hectare public land.The lawmakers' decision will enable Kumho Asiana, which recently acquired Saipan LauLau Development Inc., to proceed with its $100-million resort development project for the golf facility. The Whole Story

This should bring some action to the local coffers and help revive some cash flow.

So I tip my hat to all who saw the light and voted to approve this projects forward movement...

.....GED.....

812- PAY IN ADVANCE

THERE IS AN ANSWER TO SOME OF THE POWER PAYMENT PROBLEMS

This is not going to address the expensive costs of producing power, there is an answer to that by operating CUC differently, that is another subject.
The problems we want to address here and now is paying for power regardless of the rates and costs of producing it.
First- There needs to be an across the board cost for a Kwh of power. The same for everyone! This needs to be determined and fixed so that all users pay the same per Kwh. No different costs for residential, business, government, over or under a certain amounts but with all Kwh's costing the same. A fixed flat rate. Period...
Second, and the most important- PAY IN ADVANCE!
Pay for what you want to use each month, or several months if that's what you prefer, in advance, buy it like you would gas for your car. This would eliminate the need for deposits, disconnection/reconnection fees, late payment fees, problems collecting bills, terms of payments and all complications with billings/payments.
With this arrangement you go buy XXX amount of Kwh's for your house or business and then use it as you would driving your car. If the gas is low in your car you buy more or you don't drive the car. If your Kwh's are running out, buy more. You don't drive your car then pay later for the gas do you? You don't ask for a year to pay for the gas do you? Power should be sold the same way, and just as every one pays the same per gallon (liter) of gas all rates will be the same per Kwh for all consumers.
This would not only take huge bookkeeping and accounting costs, disconnection and reconnection costs, reading meters, billing and collecting costs off of CUC, the first step in lowering the rates, cutting costs, but would enable them to have the cash on hand when the supplier arrived with a delivery of fuel, keeping the financial accounting on the level and avoiding power outages. Everything else you use on a daily basis or buy from a supplier or producer you pay for before you consume it, why not power too? This plan would NOT cost you a dime more but would enable CUC to lower your rates considerably.

Can you imagine how much CUC could lower the power rates if everyone including the government, paid all their bills in advance and there was no outstanding payments owed? Ask CUC about this and I'll bet you they would they would jump for joy!
The only deferral from this method may be to people or businesses with preferred credit ratings and assets to back up the charges accrued. This is now getting into the small detail section and not the overall proposal.
There don't seem to be any suggestions or plans for lowering the rates (demanding legislation to do so is NOT the answer) but we can implement a equal payment plan so all can use what they can afford. This way there are no rude disconnections and hard feelings, buy what you use, when it is about to run out buy more or expect the old AC to be off for awhile until you do so.
What is your plan? I'd be glad to hear it or your amendments to this one. Comment below.. You MUST read these comments too!
.....GED.....

811- ASK TAOTAO TANO

MAY I SUGGEST YOU CALL TAOTAO TANO FOR HELP

Since TTT was instrumental in causing the lower power rates by requesting a vote grubbing re-election legislature to pass a bill, then override the governors veto of the bill, to have unrealistic power rates, that they should be held accountable for the shortage we face today. I had ask them several times what they planned to do about the problem but they seemed not to have any answers. So here we are faced with power outages again by these actions. The funny part, though not amusing is the rates are even higher today as a result of these wranglings, could anyone see that coming?

Here is the problem and part of the story...

CUC short by $2.5M for fuel payments
THERE are four days left before the next fuel delivery from Singapore arrives on Saipan, but the Commonwealth Utilities Corp. is still short $2.5 million to pay its supplier, Mobil Oil.
CUC spokeswoman Pamela Mathis said they have until today to pool collections to pay for the tanker shipment scheduled to arrive on Tuesday, Dec. 4.
She said CUC’s management had alerted the Department of Finance about the projected shortfall to avoid possible power outages due to lack of fuel. (The poor borrow from the broke.)

Here is where Taotao Tano comes in, ask them for the help needed to meet the shortage, they helped cause it! (It's time to pay the fiddler for the cheap dancing.)

Enough said. That's all

.....GED.....

810- NAME THAT TEDDY BEAR

TEACHER NAMES TEDDY BEAR MUHAMMAD, GETS JAIL TIME, DEPORTATION

And you thought you have it bad here. An unbelievable mind set in some strange and faraway places.
Talk about the dark ages especially for women, thank whoever you want to, but be glad you aren't there.
The Story:
KHARTOUM, Sudan — British teacher Gillian Gibbons has been convicted of inciting religious hatred for letting her pupils name a teddy bear Muhammad and sentenced to 15 days in prison and deportation from Sudan, one of her defense lawyers said Thursday. "It's a very fair verdict, she could have had six months and lashes and a fine, and she only got 15 days and deportation," said Robert Boulos of the Unity High School, confirming there would be no appeal. He noted that she would only spend 10 days in prison, having already served five.
The rest of the story
There's a lot of people right here in this blog-o-sphere, including my own self, who would have lost their heads by now if we were in Sudan. And we send them a lot of money too! Outrageous!

Have a nice day....
.....GED.....

809 WELL "DUH"!

MAY / SHALL... WHAT DO THEY MEAN

When are these people going to learn that the legislature is just a bunch of bullshitters. I have been telling you this for the last half a year now. What will it take for you to understand this. Do you need to figure out the difference between 'may' and 'shall', why don't you ask a fifth grader, they will know.
Here is more stupidity, so get ready to shake your heads in utter amazement as to the brilliance in this following piece....
Taotao Tano blames lawmakers for passing defective law
Paragraph 12 of P.L. 15-97’s Section 2 states that “Residential consumers may be given up to one year to pay in full any outstanding balance on their accounts.” Cruz fears that the word “may” in the provision does not guarantee that what is being mandated will actually be enforced. He said he figured this out by studying carefully what “may” means. With such language in the provision, Cruz said CUC could interpret this to as meaning they don’t have to.(pay) Cruz said those who wrote the bill should have used the word “shall” if they were sincere about helping consumers. “Does the Legislature have legal counsels to read draft bills before they are introduced on the floor?” Cruz said, adding that he has a bad feeling the lawmakers “screwed up” with the law that they made. Well Duh! Too late again...
OUR ENGLISH LESSON FOR THE DAY
MAY: aux.v. Past tense might (mt) KEY
To be allowed or permitted to: May I take a swim? Yes, you may.
Used to indicate a certain measure of likelihood or possibility: It may rain this afternoon.
SHALL: past tense should (shd) KEY
Something that will take place or exist in the future: We shall arrive tomorrow.
Something that is inevitable: That day shall come.
To have to; must.
Cruz, let me say something here, you will go a long time before you get anything responsible out of capital hill, every one has been elected or re-elected, so they don't give a shit anymore.
You can beat your head against the wall, won't do any good now, never did, not now, not ever, never will. You are screwed again, it's gotta be tiresome and a little sore getting reamed all the time, but even a dog after you swat him a coupl'a times with the newspaper, takes off when he sees the paper coming out, you know, he figured it out. When will you?
.....GED.....

808- A TAKE ON FOOLS

A SHORT TAKE ON FOOLS, ANYTHING SOUND FAMILIAR?

Not necessarily factual but mostly entertaining stuff...

All about fools:

.

.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

You don't have to fool all the people all of the time; you just have to fool enough to get elected.

The best way to convince a fool that he is wrong is to let him have his own way.

A fool always finds a greater fool to admire him.

Impossible is a word only to be found in the dictionary of fools.

Fools are wise until they speak.

Get the fools on your side and you can be elected to anything.

If a million people believe a foolish thing, it is still a foolish thing.

As one grows older, one becomes wiser and more foolish.

There are more fools in the world than there are people.

Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain, and most fools do.

The silliest woman can manage a clever man; but it needs a very clever woman to manage a fool.

Know any of the above?

.....GED.....

807- COMMENTS WANTED

HERE IS YOUR CHANCE TO SPEAK YOUR PIECE

'Human Face' of Wage Hike Impact Sought:
Saipan Chamber of Commerce president Juan T. Guerrero urged fellow businessmen yesterday to let the federal government know how the minimum wage hike has affected them. The U.S. Department of Labor wants to put a human face on the impact of the wage increase, Guerrero said.
James Carter of the U.S. Labor Department, reportedly asked whether there had been business closures, employee work hour reductions, or company downsizing that result from the 50-cent wage hike implemented earlier this year. Guerrero also said Carter would be interested in other effects attributable to the wage hike, such as price increases to customers or reductions in employee benefits. He urged everyone to submit a comment. “I believe that it is important for the federal government to fully understand the effects of its actions on our island economy,” he said.

The Whole Story Here
Well here are my comments:
1. To little to late.
2. Successful businesses weren't affected at all, as they were already paying above the minimum wage.
3. Only businesses exploiting their employees are crying foul.
4. Benefits were reduced to more than offset the wages, so the exploited employees are actually received less than before.
5. Still is not enough to support a 'local' workforce.

6. Should be increased to coincide with the US minimum wages...

7. Or.. Should be linked directly to equal gas prices.
8. Caused the local government to pass an employee punishment

'labor reform bill'.
9. Again..to little to late.
10. As for the faces.. Take pictures on Dec. 7th at the Unity March.
In conclusion..
Any business that can't afford these wages are here only to exploit their employees and should not be in business on American soil.
Here is your chance to comment. Place your comments below...
.....GED.....

806- THREE ITEMS FYI

THREE ITEMS OF INTEREST, THE UNITY MARCH, FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND MORE RED FLAGS

These will be just short headlines with corresponding links to read the whole stories...
First:
Organizers firm up plans for NMI's first unity march:

Representative-elect Tina Sablan will lead the CNMI's first unity march to dramatize protest against the new local labor law and to express support for the extension of federal immigration law to the Commonwealth. In a news briefing yesterday morning at a pavilion along Beach Road in Garapan, Sablan described the march as “a historic and peaceful demonstration” for labor and immigration reform. It will be held on Dec. 7, Friday, starting at 4:30pm at Kilili Beach and moving down Beach Road to the American Memorial Park.

The Whole Story Here
Please participate in this if you are for fairness and equality for all people and want to send a message to the racist and biased government that has authored a terrible labor reform law.
Second:
Tactics of intimidation and repression:

Tuesday’s newspapers reported on a proposed House resolution, signed by Stanley Torres and eight other members, to castigate Ron Hodges for opinions he expressed publicly.

The Whole Story Here
Again this government seems to forget it is part of the US and wants to make its own rules on the freedoms afforded to us by the US Constitution.
Third:
Red flags up at 16 beach sites:

The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on 16 sites on Saipan.

The Whole Story Here
More reasons tourists don't want to come here. This has been an ongoing problem that no one seems to give a shit about...

.....GED.....

805- MAKE THAT CALL

DIRECTIONS: WHEN CALLING THE PSYCH WARD

Simply listen to these directions and do as instructed:

Phone Menu at the Mental Health Institute
"Hello, and thank you for calling the Mental Health Institute."

.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you have multiple personalities, press 2, 3 and 4.
If you suffer from post-traumatic stress disorder, press 5 but do it v-e-r-y- s-l-o-w-l-y and carefully.
If you are dyslexic, press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6. Now press 9. Now press 6. Now press....
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short term memory loss, press 8. If you have short.....
If you have schizophrenia, listen very carefully and a small voice will tell you the number to press.
If you have a nervous disorder, fidget with the hash key until a representative comes on the line.
If you are co-dependent, ask someone to press a number for you.
If you are depressed, don't bother to press any numbers. No one will be able to help you anyway.
If you are paranoid, you don't need to press anything. We know who you are, we know what you want and we know how to get you.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, please hang up because all our operators are too busy to talk to you.

If you are Stanley TLC* Torres and want to commit suicide, go right ahead on, we won't stop you.

If you live in the CNMI the mental health department is closed due to budget constraints, like friggin' broke.

.....GED.....

* The Loose Cannon

804- CALLING BULLSHIT

WHO DOES THIS GUY THINK HE'S FOOLING?

The government is in the black? And this is according to the Chief Financial Officer?
So out comes the official

<-- GED anti-bullshit flag.

I must call BULLSHIT on this one, for sure. Here read a part of this bullshit...
DOF chief believes govt. ended FY '07 in the black
The final figures are not yet in, but Finance Secretary Eloy S. Inos is confident the government finished fiscal year '07 in the black. “I would be very surprised if the numbers show any deficit. I'm pretty sure our expenses either equaled or were well within the budget. We were controlling the expenditures so close,” Inos said. BUT we did have accruals. The retirement contributions are a liability, (The Rest of the Story)
So lets do some government math:
1. You have a $160 million dollar budget.
2. You have $200 million in expenses.
3. You pay $160 million of your expenses.

Then you defer, put off, manipulate payments and change laws to avoid payments, (use the retirement fund as an example) weasel out of, ignore or simply don't pay anything at all and as a result....
4. You leave $40 million unpaid.
Therefore you have lived within the framework of your budget?
Is this how it works? Evidently the Director of Finance thinks so. Does this accounting work in your household, business, or in any other financial arrangements? More government math

You can't simply just spend the money you have, ignore all other responsibilities and then announce you have met your projected budget, shit don't work that way. At least not in the real world, not in your's or mine.

Therefore you must recognize this and call bullshit too.

.....GED.....

803- GETTING UP THERE

TIME JUST KEEPS FLYING BY

Signs You Are No Longer a Kid
You're asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
Your back goes out more than you.
You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room.
You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
You are proud of your lawn mower.
Your best friend is dating someone half their age ..... and isn't breaking any laws.
Your arms are almost too short to read the newspaper.
You sing along with the elevator music.
You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.
You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
You make an appointment to see the dentist.
You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
Neighbors borrow your tools.
People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you ?"
You answer a question with, "because I said so!"
You send money to PBS.
The end of your tie doesn't come near the top of your pants.
You take a metal detector to the beach.
You wear black socks with sandals.
You know what the word "equity" means.
You can't remember when you last laid on the floor to watch TV.
Your ears are hairier than your head.
You talk about "good grass" and you're referring to the lawn.
You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
You got cable for the weather channel.
You can go bowling without drinking.
You have a party and the neighbors don't even realize it.
Strange how priority's keep on changing, isn't it?

There are 30 reasons to prove you aren't a spring chicken anymore. How many directly refer to you?

0-10 you're under 35.

10-15 and you're 35-40.

15-20 you're over 40.

Over 20, and you're an old duffer!

.....GED.....

802- READ IT HERE

IN POST #776, I SAID,
"THE GOVERNOR IS ILL"

NEW COLLEGE. A feverish Gov. Benigno R. Fitial, left, is helped by Saipan Mayor Juan B. Tudela to the podium.
<-- The picture..

Here it is Post # 776
A part of of the story...
GOVERNOR Benigno R. Fitial yesterday said he will go on medical leave this week as he has been suffering from “body temperature irregularities” Fitial said his temperature become “irregular” after he attended a concert at American Memorial Park on Nov 18. Maybe it was the booing...

By Moneth G. Deposa (Is this someone new? Check english)

(The Whole Story Here)

.....GED.....
PS.. This is a Marianas Variety photo, looks to me like the mayor is a shadow and the gov. is his baby. I don't know, what do you think? Computer screen? A really bad photo?... (Photo Here)

Actually it looks like he is in front of a slide projector picture of a computer screen. I'm missing my whole origional point aren't I?

.....ged.....

801- DID YOU JUST FART?.. FLASHBACK 11

I JUST DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT NEXT

Here is a rather humorous story about a weekend in Maui, a celebrity and a couple of bodacious farts.

The scenario:
I was working on the Island of Kauai, Hawaii when my boss told me I should go to Maui for a Golf Course Builders Association convention. He explained that many people in the golf industry would be there and since we would be working and meeting a lot of these members during the course of our work I should go to meet and get acquainted with them. So I went. The place was the Westin Maui Hotel and Resort, the kind of place people save for years to go to on vacation.
So off I went:
I was only planning to stay for that day so I didn't pack any extra clothing or even plan to spend the night. Just to go there and fly back that same day. It was kinda like going to Guam for a day and returning the same day, no big deal. There were architects, suppliers, builders, and lots of golf related people there, just as he said. But the thing that surprised me the most was there were hundreds of movie stars, celebrities and famous people there and they were everywhere you looked. It turned to be a celebrity golf tournament for the John Wayne Cancer Society, a fund raising drive for cancer.. Everybody there was there..
Returning to Maui:

I flew home that evening and grabbed a buddy, packed some bags and flew back for the weekend. We were gonna rub elbows with the rich and famous. Now this story could get really long so I'll get to the main gist of it now.
At the pool bar:
I was sitting at the pool bar beside Leslie Nielson (The Naked Gun Movies, see photo), his wife and another lady. Kirk Douglas, Lloyd Bridges, his sons Beau and Jeff along with Heather Locklear, were at the pool also. Harvey Korman (Carol Burnett show) getting ready to go play his round of golf was there too. Quiet a bunch for us 'regular' dudes.

Soon Leslie struck up a conversation with me about things like, What do you do, where are you from, small chat, friendly stuff, when all of a sudden he FARTED, yes, a long loud fart, but he never missed a beat in his conversation, like it never happened. I didn't know whether to laugh, act surprised or ignore it like it never happened, too, so I did the latter, just choked back my laugh and ignored it, then he FARTED again. Now what's a guy to do, this was funny stuff, before I could react to the second fart he FARTED again. Now these weren't little squeakers these were loud and long, it was undeniable that they were happening.
Well this was all a set-up to see how I'd react and for him to get a few laughs on me. His wife now seeing my puzzled look leaned over and said, "He's got a whoopee cushion and he likes to see the reactions of people when he does that, so never mind its just a joke." Now I must say that broke the ice, or should I say 'cut the wind', and we had a grand time sipping a few drinks together that afternoon. What a fun guy, made my day.
What a great weekend it was, everyone was so gracious and friendly, another fond memory...
.....GED.....

800- FLIRTING WITH DISASTER

SOMEONE MUST DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.. NOW!

We are on the brink of a catastrophe, and who will do something about it?
What will it take for someone to step up and realize there is a huge problem here. Not that everyone don't know it, but who is going to make an actual attempt to really correct this? Will it take total blackouts, people in dire distress, someone dying or a island wide shutdown of all essential services to get someone's attention?
Here is the latest:
Four power engines down <--click here

Three of the four units still working need maintenance:
One of the four remaining power engines at Power Plant 1 in Lower Base broke down early yesterday morning, triggering an outage in some areas on Saipan and leaving CUC limping along with three engines that are also in need of maintenance.
WAKE UP! CNMI GOVERNMENT!
Get your goddamn heads outta your asses and address this problen, it will not just go away, something needs to be done now!
Either lead, follow or get the hell out of the way and let someone else take care of it..
.....GED.....

799- BEST MOVE EVER

DIEGO BEVAVENTE REQUESTS TO BE H.F.A.C. CHAIRMAN

Benavente eyes House federal relations panel
FORMER Lt. Gov. Diego T. Benavente hopes that the other incoming Republican members of the House allow him to chair the Foreign and Federal Affairs Committee.
This has to be one of the best moves this legislature could possibly ever make. Here is a man who gave up the house speakership and now wants to be the chair of the House Federal Affairs Committee. If this island needs one thing badly, and it does, it's to improve relations with Washington, Benavente is the man, without a doubt. Just think what a good congenial relationship right now with David Cohen and Jim Bennedetto would do for the progress of things to come. Get the Governor out of the picture as he continues to stonewall everything and continually pisses everyone off. This is a opportunity that should not be wasted... This man has already turned heads in Washington with his remarks on the urgent need to improve relations with the Federal Government. They are so wanting some level headed person to have an intelligent exchange on the issues at hand, and this is our guy.. This is probably the most important relationship for the CNMI to have at this time. So many important issues are on the table and are about to happen to all of us, and here is the man to be at the head of these negotiations.
Place this man in charge of the affairs with Washington now, elect him as governor in '09 and you will be on the right path to conquer the mountain!

To the legislature...DO NOT let this opportunity slip by for selfish and personal reasons, as so many things do, take this one seriously, DO THE RIGHT THING!!!
.....GED.....

798- WHEN SHE'S HOT AND HE'S NOT

WHAT ATTRACTS WOMEN TO UNATTRACTIVE MEN

This was written by a woman..
Do women even care about having man arm-candy? Most would say it's a plus, for sure. But there's a lot of competition, and not enough heterosexuals to go around. We prefer to look for a great personality, charm, a certain worldliness and let's not forget, a prosperous career. So maybe we women are just shallow in a different way ... Still, it seems like men -- attractive or not -- have it easy in the dating department.

Or maybe not, "The downside of [disproportionately attractive girlfriends] is that you're constantly trying to convince her to stay with you while battling with your inadequacy in the looks department -- over which you have no control.

No matter how great the relationship is, in the back of your mind you're always wondering. "That's the funny thing about relationships -- in the back of our minds, we're always wondering about something, no matter what.

By Julia Allison

-----------------
Is this true, do men always get women more attractive then they are? Is it the other way around ?

Gals, what was the reason you picked your mate, was it for looks, did looks matter? Was it the 'other' things as mentioned above?

Guys, do you know why your mate chose you?

What is your take on this subject, drop a comment below.

.....GED.....

797- WARNING, GUYS

MEN, ALWAYS REMEMBER THESE TRIVIAL BITS 'O WIT

We addressed certain things not to buy for women in an earlier post, well here are certain things one should never

SAY OR DO to a woman, or you could have one angry lady on your hands..... See photo.

Here they are:
- Don’t ever say in front of women that there aren’t any irreplaceable ones. It could happen that they would replace you without letting you know about it.
- Never tell a woman how great she looks when you are on the phone.
- Never tell women small lies. Save your strength for important stuff.
- If you have something you don’t need, never throw it away. Offer it to a woman. Let her throw it away herself.
- Never ask a woman’s opinion on any issue. She will give it to you anyway. And not just one time. And not just one opinion.
- Try to avoid the unexpected. Remember, the best surprise for a woman is the thing of which she told you a month ago and of which she reminded you every day since then.
- Under no circumstances should you let a woman for second suspect that you are capable of washing the dishes.
- Never call a woman by her best friend’s name.
- You should not send a woman to get beer.
- Never use logical arguments when you are speaking with a woman. Remember that in such cases you appear to her a complete idiot.
- Don’t give a woman ambiguous compliments. She will always take it the wrong way.
- Be aware, women are like cigarettes: once you try it, that’s it. The only difference is you could drop a cigarette and forget about it, but the woman can always come back.
- Never tell a woman that she is the best thing you’ve ever seen. She could actually believe you.
- Never try to explain to woman why you love her. She will never understand you.
- Finally, remember: there are many women, but there is only one of you.

Jot these down and keep for immediate reference as needed....

.....GED.....

796- BROKE, BUSTED, and BELEAGUERED

THIS SHOULD GET A RISE FROM SOMEONE

Having no part or even a concern for this program I will only put it out there for you to deal with your own way...
Fund stops processing benefits
The NMI Retirement Fund has stopped processing members' benefits because of the government's failure to remit full contributions and the passage of certain laws deemed damaging to the pension program...
The ball is in your court...
.....GED.....

795- NEVER BUY THESE

TIPS FOR BUYING GIFTS FOR THAT SPECIAL GAL

Ten gifts NOT to buy a woman
1. Never give a woman any kind of household appliance or something that is going to make "housework" easier. For instance, a blender, a toaster, a new vacuum, one of those mops they advertise on tv that does everything but suck the life out of you, anything in a informercial. The only wise choice is a new washing machine with a turbo spin cycle. (Makes laundry day go by pretty fast when you can at least sit on it during spin-dry and end up smiling the rest of the day.)
2. Any bulk cleaning supplies, "honey, I got you that large box of Tide you have been wanting." "This Windex should last you a while." "I got a good deal on the industrial strength toilet bowl cleaner." All I can say is, be prepared to run. I have faith that if you would have at least stopped and thought about what would be a much more intimate gift, you would have had the sense to spring for the $5 Chia Pet you were eyeing in Kmart.
3. Any sharp objects made by Ronco which slices or dices, or a set of ginsu knives. These may one day be used as a weapon against you when you come home with lipstick on your collar after a "night out with the boys."
4. Do not buy gifts for yourself and pretend they are for her. "Honey, I'm sure you'll get a lot of use out of the new drill I bought you." By then she will have put it to good use by drilling a quarter inch hole into the side of your skull for even thinking she would accept such a lame gift. After a gift like this, you probably won't be around for NEXT Christmas.
5. Any lingerie made of flannel, such as a pair of feet pajamas with a trap door in back. A Little Mermaid or Barney cartoon character nightgown. It gives her the idea that you do not consider her the sexy woman that she is. Take out that wallet and buy her something sexy from Victoria Secret (just like you did for your mistress or other girlfriend).
6. No name perfume which costs you $1.99, such as Eu de Toilet, which actually smells like the bathroom, moldy fruit, or your dirty socks. If you are going to buy her perfume, spring for the brand names.
7. Any type of cubic zirconia jewelry you see on the Home Shopping Network. It will be quite embarrassing when she is showing off that fabulous diamond to her friends and tries to cut glass with it. (We actually test them you know.) Also, now would not be a good time to buy her that set of diamond nipple clamps you always wanted to, you know how we like to show off our jewelry and it could get embarrassing at the New Year's party when she decides to show them off to your buddies.
8. Please do not buy her clothes because you think for one minute you have good taste in woman's clothing. Well, perhaps you might if you are a transvestite, but all in all, believe me, she'll smile and say its beautiful while choking back tears and mumbling under her breath, "were the hell would I ever wear this outfit without being arrested for bad taste?" An additional hint, plaids do not go with stripes (even though you think your golfing outfit looks just fine). Its a known fact to the rest of the world that that is a taboo. In the Northeast, thats like wearing white after Labor Day.
9. Do not give her a gift certificate to Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers. Most men would know better, especially the ones who have learned the correct response to "do these pants make me look fat." If you are one of the poor souls who still doesn't get it and purchased a gift like this, be prepared for the silent treatment for a month. (Although that may be something you would actually look forward to.) A better alternative would be hiring a Chippendale dancer as a personal trainer to get her motivated into getting fit.
10. Last but not least, never buy a woman anti-wrinkle cream, or a book on "How not to be Nasty Sunday through Saturday." These are not considered gifts, they are considered reasons for seriously injuring the person who bought it and just may stand up in court of law.
You have now been informed, do your shopping early!
.....GED.....

794- HEADLINES

BACK TO BACK HEADLINES

This should impress investors....

Kumho hosts 160 execs on Saipan

Some 160 executives from Korea are on Saipan to attend Kumho Asiana Group's investor relations program.
Islandwide outages hit Saipan

Another down power engine, a malfunction at a power substation, and electrical system repairs triggered rolling blackouts islandwide on Saipan yesterday.

Maybe they'll be as impressed as I am..

.....GED.....

793- THE INTRODUCTION

LETS TAKE A LOOK AT THIS QUESTIONABLE LEGISLATION... HERE IT IS..

Senate fails override try.

An attempt to override the governor's veto of a student loan forgiveness bill failed in the Senate. Senate Bill 15-1 was rejected by the Senate in an override vote, after failing to secure the required two-thirds of the votes. The bill would have allowed scholarship agencies to write off the student loans of returning graduates who cannot get government jobs. Senate Vice President Pete P. Reyes sponsored the legislation. The bill was the first to be introduced in the 15th Senate. Gov. Benigno R. Fitial vetoed the bill, saying it was “simply bad policy” to relieve financial aid recipients forever of their debts because they cannot find employment in the government. “It is discriminatory to those recipients who pay back their loans,” Fitial said. “It makes the memorandum of agreement signed by every recipient, past, present, and future, meaningless. If students truly cannot find employment, perhaps deferment of loan payments should be the solution, not complete forgiveness. ”He also said the language of Senate Bill 15-1 allows for abuse by recipients of scholarship. He cited as an example the provision stating that a recipient will be forever relieved of any liability if he or she could just show proof of credentials to the Commonwealth and not being hired by a government agency. According to the governor, this allows recipients to apply for government positions that are not available for various reasons, be completely forgiven of their liabilities, and then seek employment in the private sector or off-island.
Now isn't this a piece of crap? I don't usually post the whole article but this one is a doozie!
If you want to read it it's right here...
So they want to forgive the loans made by students?

THERE'S MORE, Keep going down!

.....GED.....

792- WHAT IS THIS.. PART I

NOW YOU HAVE READ THE ABOVE STORY

So lets discuss this, take a real good look at this ...
If you took out a loan, used the money to go through school, then applied for a non-existing government job your loan would be forgiven, free, canceled, no pay-back??? Boy this is the worst case of the dumb ass I've ever seen! And you have this simple minded guy (Pete Reyes) working as an lawmaker?
The government is tighting its belt, laying off hundreds of employees and these idiots what to forgive your loan if you can't get a government job... Why am I even writing this?
Does this lawmaker have a personal benefit to gain by this legislation, does he have a family member in debt, with a loan that would be forgiven if this stupid law was passed? Look into it...

.....GED..... More on this below...

791- THINK ABOUT IT.. PART II

LET'S UNDERSTAND THIS

So if you took out a loan, and you were a local, all would be forgiven. Now who would be the one to take this dumb ass loss. The taxpayers, here, the taxpayers in the U.S. or does Reyes think it will all just goes away, no problem, and this is our lawmaker?

Is this what we want to instill in our youth, if you can't get a free handout all will be forgiven, you are not accountable for your responsibilities. Sign a loan and if you aren't given a job, never mind? You don't have to pay it back.

Were you ask if you wanted to do this? Did this get a public hearing? Did you get to choose to spend your money this way? Well I didn't, did you? This is not good...

.....GED..... More on this below.

790- THE FINAL ANALYSIS.. PART III

THE BOTTOM LINE

Why take the time to address this anymore, this is the way this place thinks and works, ask the CDA, their loans are written off by lawmakers who owe them. It really don't matter anymore, keep up the good work!!!!! Your acute mentality is only over shadowed by your great ideas. This place should just boom with such insight, overwhelming intelligence, wisdom and from following in the steps of your expert leadership...
.....GED..... The End.

789- JOKES, JOKES

TAKE A JOKE BREAK

Picture this....
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking it the monkey jumps around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them. Then he jumps up on the pool table, grabs the cue ball, sticks it in his mouth and swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says, "No, what?" "He just swallowed the cue ball off my pool table whole!", says the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He eats everything in sight, the little bugger. I'll pay for the cue ball and other stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill and leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again and he has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is drinking his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his ass, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?", he asks. "Now what?", responds the bloke. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his ass, then pulled it out and ate it!", says the barkeeper. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the bloke. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball he measures everything first!"
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks. After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch. After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch. Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll bring you drinks all night long, but you gotta tell me why you look inside your shirt pocket before you order another. "The customer replied, "I'm looking at a photo of my wife. When she starts to look good, then I know it's time to go home."
Enjoy your day...
.....GED.....

788- CASTING BLAME

HOW SOON HE SEEMS TO FORGET

Headline....
Friday, November 23, 2007
Lawmakers blamed for Q1 budget shortfall
Gov. Benigno R. Fitial says the Legislature's inaction on the proposed budget and cost-cutting measures brought the government to its latest financial crisis.
Has the governor forgotten already how late he was getting the budget to the no account legislature? The new fiscal year starts Oct. 1st every year, the last time I checked. The gov. sends the proposed budget on Sept. 10th a mere 20 days before the start of the fiscal year now he bitches about the budget not being approved and cries foul, what an idiot. So, did he forget already?

Now I don't have any special love to lose for the procrastinating legislators but their sorry butts do need a few months to go over the thing and at least try to look like they care, so why is the Gov. complaining about them for?
This guy is losing his mind. I've said it before and I'll say it again, if not all of his mind, the memory and intelligent parts are gone.
The sun is setting....
.....GED.....

787- BUT ON THE OTHER HAND

THINGS THAT PISS ME OFF

I've seen the lists of things everyone is thankful for, so I decided to list the things that annoy me..
1- Power and water outages.
2- Power rates.
3- The crime scene..
a. The A.M.P. lights and the pathway light wire thefts.
b. Purse snatching.
c. Copper theft.
d. Robberies of businesses.
4- Sitting through power outages.
5- Polluted beaches.
6- Trash, Trash, Trash.
7- Graffiti on public and tourist places.
8- Betel nut spitters and betel nut spit.
9- Rude drivers going nowhere fast.
10- Speed bumps every block.
11- Dogs that bite.
12- People who think Liquor and Cigarette taxes are the answer to all shortages of funds.
13- BGR Taxes. (should be sales taxes.)
14- Bullshit and lies from elected officials.
15- Government redundancy and inefficiency.
a. Going to window after window to do one transaction.
b. The lines at these windows.
c. Rude government employees. (not all gov. employees)

d. 'He's in a meeting' 'off island' or 'just stepped out' phone excuse.
e. Getting a police clearance and paying $15.00 every time.
16- Sweating during power outages.
17- The governors attitude toward..
a. The US of A.
b. Guest workers.
c. Cohen and Benedetto.
18- Government nepotism.
19- New labor reform bill.

20- Slap on the wrist by judges for crimes needing stiff sentences.

21- My business closed during power outages.

22- And worst of all, the last but not the least....

The horrible music on MCV during sports games! Puke!

Now I'm not one to run around angry all the time and I'm a generally happy person but on the occasions when the above mentioned items pop-up they piss me off. So don't think everything is across the board but as you all know from time to time these things can bring out your ire...

Have a Happy Thanksgiving all...

.....GED.....

786- USING FUTURE MONEY TODAY

IS THIS ANYWAY TO RUN A GOVERNMENT....
A business or even your own household budget?

Well who coulda foreseen this coming? It wasn't the 'no budget' legislature, wasn't the financial experts, was it? Did anyone even have a clue this might happen and did anyone do anything to avert it? Take a look and see what I'm talking about.
Govt to borrow from 2nd quarter budget allocation:
The CNMI government is poised to dip into the January-to-March budget to avert a shortfall in the current quarter. Gov. Benigno R. Fitial told the Legislature on Tuesday that the advance funding for this quarter was “inevitable.” If this is not done, the government will not be able to pay for any obligations, including payroll, beginning Dec. 15, 2007. The Office of Management and Budget projects expenditures to total $47.5 million from October to December 2007. This is $7.5 million in excess of the quarterly allotment. “If nothing is done to avert budget authority shortfall, we will essentially run out of funding for the 1st quarter of FY2008 by 15 Dec 2007. All branches of government will be affected by the budget authority shortfall,” Fitial said in a letter to the Legislature.
Now I have a thought or two..
First- What are you gonna do in the second quarter, take from the third quarter? Maybe you can cancel the whole fourth quarter and through an executive emergency order, like you run CUC, just ignore it, pretend it won't happen like your head up your ass operation you continually run.
Second- Just think how far ahead you would be if you canceled the whole next year, 2009, hell you could be 'years ahead'.
Ha Ha.... It would be funny if it wasn't so sorry!
When are we gonna get some responsible people to run this sorry ass government, it surely won't come from the voters, so what possible solution is left... I'll let you decide that for yourselves...
.....GED.....

785- COPPER THIEVES

KINDA CLOSE TO HOME

I guess they should be looking in their own backyard.
THE 18-year-old son of a police officer was arrested on Tuesday after he was caught at the La Fiesta III building in San Roque with individuals who were loading copper wire into a pick up truck.. The responding officer was able to detain a suspect who was identified later as John T. Santos. John Santos Jr. is the son of Sgt. Bernard Santos.
Wiseman allowed Santos Jr. to post a $10,000 appearance bond and be released from custody through a third party custodian, Sgt. Hillary Tagabuel. Tagabuel said the defendant is a “good man.”
If this is a good man just what the hell does a guy gotta do to be considered a bad man?
Anyone having information about this crime should call the Crime Stoppers hotline at 234-7272. All calls are kept anonymous, no caller ID is used and a reward of up to $1,000 is given for any information leading to an arrest.
Now I have a suggestion for this Crime Stoppers Hotline..
Why don't you ask the thief, Santos. Ask him who the others were, ask 'um where they were gonna sell it, ask 'um if they were there before, ask 'um all the questions, he should know don't ya think???
Enough of this shit, but watch 'um walk, a slap on the wrist... Betcha....
.....GED.....

784- EXPLAIN THIS

YOU DO THE MATH

I need to have this explained to me as I cannot understand how this will work..
Tony Muna said the cash-strapped government will incur a shortfall of at least $7 million in fiscal year 2008.
Based on the administration’s analysis, the unpaid holiday measure will save the government $7 million and this could be used to cover other financial obligations such as utility bills and other operational expenses.
Now let me see, The government will have a shortfall of seven million dollars... They will keep from creating a deficit by reducing the budget by seven million dollars by not paying for holidays... This is not saving money to be used for 'other' things, as noted, but will only keep them from going into the hole. So how do these brilliant minds make this work? Please tell me...
.....GED.....

PS.. How about this, would it work like this?...

I want a $40.00 pair of shoes

I only have $20.00

I then buy a $60.00 pair of shoes on sale for $20.00

Therefore saving $40.00

I now have the $40.00 I saved to buy the original shoes?....

Government math....

783- ELK IN THE ROCKIES.. FLASHBACK 10

A COLORADO ROCKY MOUNTAIN STORY

These mountains have to be one of the most awesome places in the world to be, and to have one really realize just how insignificant a person is.

We had spent some time in Denver, skied a few slopes at Keystone , Breckenridge, and a few others, so it wasn't like we were new to the mountains. But upon going to Vail while on a job assignment we decided to try our luck at elk hunting. We being one of my heavy equipment operators, a local hire from Colorado and myself.

To set the stage: Big game hunting in Colorado was staged in three seasons, The first being for elk only, followed by mule deer season and finally a combination season were you could bag either species. We had the combination license so we had to wait while all the others hunted the mountains, during the two first seasons. This resulted in us quizzing the first hunters as to where to go to find the elk. The consensus was, 'they are on the top of the mountain,' so our plan was hatched. We needed to go to the top of the mountain to find the elk, sounds simple doesn't it?

The hunt: We hitched a ride starting at 5:00 am with a 4 wheel drive jeep to take us up as far as a motorized vehicle could go. This took an hour creeping steadily up a steep narrow trail and got us to a staging area where outfitters took horses to continue up the mountains. There were no horses there at the time as they were only there for certain outfitters to take paying guests on hunts. We we were dropped off, we were then on our own and proceeded on foot from that point. We hiked steadily up hill for 6 more hours with the 'top' as our goal, it was now noon. We finally arrived exhausted to a kinda flat area just above the treeline, this was where we wanted to be, where the elk were supposed to be.

The snow, about 18 inches deep at this point, was trampled on every square inch by what must have been a large herd of elk, there was not a spot unmarked by their hooves. It was at this time we sat down to fathom the situation and it was at this point we got our grips on reality. We simply looked at each other and realized this was way bigger then we were. We had spent 1/2 a day just simply getting there, we hadn't even hunted yet.

Now an elk weights a ton so what the hell would we do with a full grown elk at this point, we had no way to move it, if we did get one it probably would take all night and another day to just get part of it down the mountain. ( The reason the pros used horses.) We didn't even have to discuss it, we just stared at the hugeness of where we were at and realized just how small we were, there was no other choice, it was, let's get outta here, we can never do this.

The summery: The other hunters were right, the elk were 'on the top' but it took going and being there to realize what a huge undertaking we were trying to accomplish and we came to realize this was way bigger then we ever imagined. It was dark when we finally walked out of that mountain and we never spent a minute

'hunting' elk. The experience was a lessen in the magnitude of nature and the grand supremacy of the Colorado Rockies.

A experience I'll never forget!

.....GED.....

782- HOW PROFOUND

SOME INSIGHT BY OUR EVER BRILLIANT AND OBSERVANT LEADERS

Well who woulda guessed this, It's sure reassuring these people have an insight of this depth.
Here are some quotes that are news to us and we are thankful for the insight.
Diego T. Benavente, “The current administration’s relationship with some federal agencies isn’t really that good and it can be improved.”
Finance Secretary Eloy Inos, "The islands’ economy has already hit rock-bottom. We’re going to remain flat or we’re going to be on the upswing."
Inos also said, "The cash-strapped government is already resolved that the local garment industry is dying."
Businessman Juan S. Tenorio, The NMI’s economy is still spiraling downward. “We’re still going down."

Edward Salas, Salas said he had expected to win in the absentee voting. He said this indicated that the off-island Republicans voted Republican.

Alvaro Santos, “As it is with any competitive activity, some contestants come out as winners and some as losers,” Santos said.
I am so thankful for the brilliance and wisdom these people have bestowed upon us during a week of thanksgiving....
.....GED.....

781- SIGNS AND SUCH

NOW WE KNOW..

.....GED.....

780- BEWARE! BOGUS BILLS

BOGUS BENJI BILLS BEING CIRCULATED

Watch out front line clerks and cashiers... The Story
The public is being warned to be doubly cautious in receiving $100 dollar bills because of alleged incidents of counterfeit bills circulating in the CNMI.
This warning came via the local news. Go to this link to find more information from the Federal Government... Spotting Bogus Bills

If you are to receive bogus bills you will take the loss of the amount so be very careful....

.....GED.....

779- COUNTING COUNTS

WE WILL BE RECOUNTING THE COUNT OF THE COUNTED VOTES

A REPRESENTATIVE, who lost by just three votes, says he will ask the Commonwealth Election Commission for a recount.
Now the question is this....
If you recount the already counted votes does the first count not count anymore? If the recount is counted and the recounted count is different from the original count which count then counts? If there are two different counts do you count or recount the already counted and recounted votes and recount them as a third count or a second recount? If this count is a different count then the first count and the second count or the first recount, does the third recount count over the first count and the recount? And finally can we count on the count being recounted to really count as the final count? So which count will be counted on as the count that really counts, to be counted as the final count? Who the heck knows??? Count me out...
.....GED.....

PS.. Tell me how many times you reread this post...

778- JUST FOR GRINS

SOME QUICKIES AND SHORTIES FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT TODAY

So without further adieu:

A waitress walks up to a table where three Japanese men are seated. When she gets to the table, the waitress notices that the three men are furiously masturbating. She asks, "What the hell are you three perverts doing? "One man replies, "We all very hungry!" She answers, "But why are you jerking off?" Another man answers, "Because menu say 'First Come, First Served!'"
Once on a Friday, two women were sitting and talking. Then one woman looked up and saw her husband coming down the street with a bunch of flowers in his hand. She said, "There comes the asshole with flowers in his hand. Now he'll expect me to spend the weekend on my back with my legs in the air." Her friend promptly replied, "Don't you have a vase?"
A Licensed Counselor was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children."You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy." He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny." He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy." At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."
Paul, a guy on the local beach just couldn't make it with any of the girls, so he heads over to the lifeguard tower to see if the lifeguard has any advice for him. "Dude, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "you're wearing them baggy old swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Spandex Speedos - about two sizes too small - and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin ya man...you'll have all the babes ya want!" The following weekend, Paul hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato and it's worse than before. Everybody on the beach acts disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick! So Paul goes back to the lifeguard again and asks him, "What's wrong now?" "JAHEESUS!" says the lifeguard, "The potato goes in front!"
Two strangers were seated next to each other on the plane when the first guy turned to the second and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights will go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."The second guy, who had just opened his book, closed it slowly, took off his glasses and said to the first guy, "What would you like to discuss?" "Oh, I don't know," said the first guy. "How about nuclear power?" "OK," said the second guy. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. "A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass. The same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?" "Jeez," said the first guy. "I have no idea." "Well, then," said the second guy, "How is it that you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

Now have a nice day...

.....GED.....

777- ELECTION FINALS HERE

CLICK HERE FOR THE 2007 ELECTION RESULTS
The hard part is over, now the work begins. The very best to you girl, you will always have my support!
.....GED.....

776- BEN FITIAL IS SICK

THERE CAN BE NO OTHER CAUSE FOR SO MANY NEGATIVE DECISIONS FROM ONE PERSON WITHOUT A REASON ..THE MAN IS ILL

Have you ever seen one single person against everything, no matter what it is, but always against everything. Well that's Ben, he's against everything, it don't matter what it is he'll be against it for sure. It's not 'will something go wrong,' but 'something will go wrong.'

If you said white would work he'll want black. If guest workers wanted to leave he'd say they must stay... If all the guest workers wanted to stay he'd say they must leave. If he had to shit he'd want to stand up, if he had to whizz he would probably sit down.

OK whats the the reason? ... you need to help me with this... Alzheimer's? Senility? Ignorance?? or does it go to greed, money, sex, power, control, to name a few. WHAT THE HELL IS HIS PROBLEM? I really can't see through this shit, I want your input and suggestions as to why this guy is so negative.....

.....GED....

775- A SIGN OF THE TIMES

THIS PLACE IS BECOMING A CAN OF LOW CASTE WORMS

You are now treading on my and many others toes....

This really pisses me off...
When things get this low something must be done. What's next? Gravesites?
Caption to the picture: And then there were no lights.The spotlights that illuminate the flags at the American Memorial Park’s Court of Honor have been stolen, but authorities yesterday declined to talk about the incident.
THE flags at American Memorial Park’s Court of Honor can no longer be seen in the evening because the spotlights that illuminate them have been stolen, Variety learned on Wednesday. About 30 spotlights are missing. The 12 spotlights that are supposed to illuminate the park’s huge sign at the front entrance on Beach Road were missing, and all those surrounding the flags at the Court of Honor were dismantled. Darkness shrouded most portion of the park on Wednesday night. What a disgrace to all who fought and died here to get this lowest of low slap in the face.

Now 30 spotlights cannot be slipped into someones pocket, this is not shoplifting this a major theft. If the DPS and authorities don't want to talk about it I ask "why the hell not?" This is a national park, the country is disgraced and your response is to hide? No friggin comment? You should be outraged too, and say so, say the scumbags will be caught if it takes 24 hour duty. Say you will not rest until someone is held accountable for this but.. No comment, unacceptable! There better be some top of the line law enforcement efforts swinging into action to crush this and now! This is a national insult. These scumbags must swing by the balls, if they got any... Bastards anyway!

.....GED.....

774- STUFF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.. PART I

THE FIRST OF A TWO PART POST OF AMAZING THINGS

Did you know that....

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.

Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.

Coca-Cola was originally green.

State with the highest percent of people walking to work: Alaska

The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)

The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%

The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of ten: $ 16,400

The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000

Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.

The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.

San Francisco Cable cars, the only mobile National Monuments.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!

More stuff...

Each king in a deck of cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David

Hearts - Charlemagne

Clubs -Alexander the Great

Diamonds - Julius Caesar

Even more...

If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle.

If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle.

If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.

Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

And finally....

Now here is something truly amazing...

Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

PS... Boy this really screwed up the spell check guy, the page turned yellow! And all that time I spent spell checking.. Shit!

.....GED.....

773- STUFF YOU DIDN'T KNOW.. PART II

THE LAST OF A TWO PART POST OF AMAZING THINGS

How some familiar phrases we use today originated....
In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick, no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have

"the rule of thumb"
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...

"goodnight, sleep tight."
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as "the honeymoon."
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down." It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's."
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service.

"Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
Some more:

Q and A's
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?

A. Honey
Q. Which day are there more collect calls made on than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day.

The end of amazing things
.....GED.....