THOUGHTS for the week: Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?.. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!.. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever... But Most Of All, Remember ... A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, Up-lifting And Always Close To Your Heart!
YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN:
1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.
2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along to find the way home.
3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.
4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
5. An all-nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom!
PONDERISM: I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes... In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal... How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things there and drink whatever comes out?".. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.".. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? ..Keep your face from wrinkling and smile.