440- ANSWERING MACHINES

THE ANSWERING MACHINE, A GOOD WAY TO EXPRESS SOME OFF-THE-WALL HUMOR
Here are a few recordings that may produce a chuckle........Answering Machine Messages.
"I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks."
"Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know how you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up."
"The number you've dialed is purely imaginary. Please multiply by one and dial again."
Hi, the answering machine is broken. This is the refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to the door with one of these magnets that hang around here."
"This is not an answering machine -- this is a telepathic thought-recording device. After the tone, think about your name, your reason for calling, and a number where I can reach you, and I'll think about returning your call."
"Hello, I'm not home right now, but I can take a message. Hang on a second while I get a pencil." (background noise --open a drawer and shuffle stuff around) "Okay, what would you like me to tell me?"
Do you have a favorite that maybe you have on your phone or one you would like to share? Just leave a "comment" Thank you. ........GED........

439- RATIONING

BUT HONEY, I ONLY HAD JUST ONE, REALLY

We all have heard that having one, or so, glasses of wine a day is good for the heart, blood pressure and other physical things. So we all must account for just what the hell is ONE.. (1). This guy here sets the standard for the count of ONE.. (1). So if you only had ONE.. (1), you are still O.K. But don't go any farther, or you will be sent to my last post of "after the party" and be ridiculed as an idiot, now you don't want that, do you?, especially if you only had ONE.. (1). Two of these will be trouble, so remember, only ONE.. (1). This case is now closed.. .....GED.....

438- TURN OUT THE LIGHTS

WE ALL HAVE BEEN THERE ONE TIME OR ANOTHER
Click on "after the party", (below) Click "open." Click on each picture and click on "back" at the end. Are these pictures of anyone here? Does this picture look like anyone you know, or remind you of someone you once knew? I'm sure this gives someone flashbacks.
AFTER THE PARTY
.......GED......

437- LOOSE CANNONS

A LOOSE CANNON CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS, ABOARD A SHIP, OR IN THE HALLS OF THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES................ <----LOOSE CANNON ON A SHIP..
<----LOOSE CANNON IN THE HOUSE OF REPRESENTATIVES. Have you ever seen this man rattle around almost every piece of nonsense he can think of, while accomplishing absolutely nothing? ....GED....

436- OSAMA - BUSH

JUST A LITTLE HUMOR FOR YOU TO GRIN AT

Peace Talks: Osama Bin Laden and George W. meet up in a remote Afghani village for the first round of talks in a new peace process. When Bush sits down, he notices 3 buttons on the side of Osama's chair. They begin talking. After about 5 minutes, Osama presses the first button. A boxing glove springs out of a box on the desk and punches Bush in the face. Confused, Bush carries on talking as Osama laughs. A few minutes later the second button is pressed. This time a big boot comes out and kicks Bush in the shin. Again Osama laughs, and again, Bush carries on talking, not wanting to put off the bigger issue of peace between the 2 countries. But when the third button is pressed and another boot comes out and kicks Bush in the balls, he's finally had enough, knowing that he can't do much without them, (his balls,) functioning well, says. "I'm going back home!" he tells the Arab. "We'll finish these talks in two weeks! "A fortnight passes and Osama flies to the Guantanamo Bay for talks. As the 2 men sit down, Osama notices 3 buttons on Bush's chair and prepares himself for the Yank's revenge. They begin talking and George W. presses the first button. Osama ducks, but nothing happens. Bush snickers. A few seconds later he presses the second button. Osama jumps up, but again nothing happens. George roars with laughter. When the third button is pressed, Osama jumps up again, and again, nothing happens. Bush falls on the floor in a fit of hysterics."Forget this shit," says Osama. "I'm going back to Afghanistan! "Bush then says through tears of laughter, "What Afghanistan"?... It's gone and done, "boom one" no more, its history, "boom two" its outta there, "boom three" puffed, nuked, a hole in the ground, zilch!... ....GED....

435- TODAYS GRIN

JUST FOR FUN.. NOW HAVE A VERY NICE DAY!.......GED........ P.S. This will be moved over to "The Daily Grin" (in the right hand column) so look for it every day.

434- DOOMSDAY'S COMING

I GOTTA CALL OUT BULLSHITTING WHEN IT'S IN THE MY FACE

RAMPANT PARANOIA, MURPHY'S LAW, SNAFU, GLOOM & DOOMSAYERS AND BULLSHIT ALLOVER AGAIN

This seems to be the mind set of our government on federalization, all is going to hell in a hand basket. Take this quote from a very paranoid governor....Fitial opposes the federalization bills, saying their enactment “will seriously damage the CNMI economy.” According to the governor, “It will drastically change the rules under which investors commit their funds to the commonwealth. It generates uncertainty throughout the economy.” He added, “Once several federal agencies begin to exercise their responsibilities under S. 1634, an entirely new element of uncertainty is created. It will be clear that no Northern Marianas governor will be able to make the kind of commitments necessary to attract to the commonwealth from predominantly Japanese, Korean and other Pacific Rim companies. Now what I can't figure out is this.. Is he talking about the present economy, the one we are living with now, the very one that is in the toilet today? How can something be so bad and still people are scrapping to preserve it? This is akin to a witches nose with a huge wart on it, the doctor wants to remove it and she cries, "you will ruin my face!" Why the hell do we want to keep clinging to something that has gone so deep in the hole? Don't they think some changes may be in order? As far as hindering the governors ability to make "his kind of commitments," to fandangle deals with foreign investors, well how many are rushing to come here today? The only ability the governor will lose is the ability to take bribes, make "arrangements" under the table and develop "crooked" deals for his advantage. Simply put...He'll lose the ability to cheat! If we have an aboveboard government nothing will stop legitimate investors from doing legal business here. Investors do deals in every part of the U.S. and it is all under the federal government and that don't stop them from going there. 50 states, Guam, Puerto Rico, Virgin Islands, etc, all under the federal government, and still working, so why only here will this be a problem? It is the greed and deceit that is prevalent here, that causes the governor to say what he does. Simply, its all bullshit!!! .....GED......

433- ODDITIES

DON'T FART IN YOUR WET SUIT AND MORE EXTREME ODDITIES

Click on "more extremes" below, to view a slide show. Allow a few moments to download. Click "open" Click on each picture to advance show. At the end of the pictures just click your "back" button to return to this post.

"MORE EXTREMES"

This is a first, I'm checking this out. .....GED....

432- IDIOT IDIOMS

SIMPLE EVERYDAY STUFF
<<----- A CHARLEY HORSE
Idioms:..We use simple phrases during our everyday life and conversation, kinda "off the cuff" without really thinking as to what they really mean, or to that matter, without thinking at all. Well lets take a look at some of them and think about them for a little while. Here are some samples to take a look at and try to decide just what they might mean or why we say them. Have you ever used or heard these terms?
"There's more than one way to skin a cat.".. Now just how many times do we need to skin a cat?, and do we need to do it differently each time?"
"She looked down her nose at him.".. Well I hope she didn't look up her nose cause then she may have only seen a bugger, and not really him.
"Bright eyed and bushy tailed.".. This can be only one thing... A squirrel on crack!"
"Can I bend your ear for a minute?".. Sure if I can poke your eye!"
"She's a party pooper.".. Not to popular I suppose. Just what does she really do? Poop at a party?"
"He was in a real pickle".. Is it OK to be in an artificial pickle? Just how does one get in and out of a pickle? Pickle doors?"
"It'll cost an arm and a leg.".. Do you really want it that bad to be crippled and without an arm? What can be so important to cause one to do this?"
"I was only pulling your leg.".. Well now I'm only kicking your balls!
These are some thoughts to ponder "till the cows come home." So see ya the next time I look at ya!...........GED.......

431- MY PICKS

THERE ARE SOME POLLS AND CONTESTS SWIRLING AROUND THESE BLOG SPOTS AS OF LATE. The contests seem to be for..... (1) The sexiest male Saipan blogger and (2) the best blogger and blog. But it seems , as in the CNMI government elections, the same people are always the only ones nominated, with no place for "write-ins" or "other" choices. This I think is very unfair and undemocratic as some other people may have different ideas for the nominee's in these popular opinion polls. So I'm going to step out of the prefixed ballot and make some "other" picks from outside the box.
For the sexiest male blogger, I will choose the Boogie Man. The boogie man has hair, is tall, dark and handsome, has a nice smile, sexy green eyes and in general is not egotistical.
For the best blogger and blog, I will choose the Fartie. The fartie is always well known and his presence is always endearing, he has hair, has deep content and substance, maintains a special "air" around him and all his materials are such a "gas."
Therefore my votes go for the above.
I now rest my case. .......GED......

430- IT'S ALL MATHEMATICAL

A LITTLE MATH LESSON FOR ALL TO WORK OUT

IT'S ALL IN THE NUMBERS, AND THEY DON'T LIE......This is strictly a mathematical viewpoint.. It goes like this: What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%, or 118%. or even more? What makes up 100% in life?.. Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G etc, is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 etc. Then: K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E @ 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%. H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K @ 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%. A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E @ 1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%. Now see what bullshit will get you, B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T @ 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%. Next, look how far ass kissing will take you. A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G @ 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%. So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it's the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top. But the real winner is, B-R-O-W-N-N-O-S-E @ 2+18+15+ 23+14+14+15+19+5 = 125%. Now remember, when the boss asks for you to give more than 100% you will know exactly what he means. Likewise when your co-worker's brag, and claim they're indeed giving more than 100% you can smile to yourself and be a little smug because you know just exactly what they're up to... Have you heard about the constipated mathematician? I haven't either. ........GED........

429- BASEBALL FANS

TO THE BASEBALL LOVERS, DEPENDING ON THE TEAM YOU ROOT FOR: This may make some sad, some others glad and some don't even give a shit either way. Me? I'll say its completely ones personal choice, I have none. And to all a good night. (click pic. to read).....GED.....

428- HERE WE GO AGAIN

THE EVER ONGOING SAGA OF POLLUTED BEACHES IN THE CNMI, WILL THIS EVER BE ADDRESSED?
Sunday, July 29, 2007
Red flag raised at 13 Saipan beaches
The Division of Environmental Quality has red-flagged 13 beaches on Saipan after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria. The affected beaches are the Paupau Beach, Nikko Hotel, Central Repair Shop, DPW Channel Bridge, South Puerto Rico Dump, Smiling Cove Marina, American Memorial Park Drainage, Outer Cove Marina, Drainage #1 (Dai-Ichi Hotel Drainage), Garapan Beach, Civic Center Beach, CK Dist #4 (Lally Beach), and Hopwood School Beach... A great new "impossible dream" revitalization plan for Garapan, but polluted beaches still exist. Aren't you getting as tired of this, as I am? Why don't we just wring hands and cry crocodile tears, and maybe this will just go away.... .....GED.....

427- PSS TEACHERS

AFTER TODAYS LESSON WE WILL HAVE A SHORT ONE QUESTION QUIZ
First, the lesson for today is about teacher shortage. Read these excerpts first:
Sunday, July 29, 2007..DUE TO FUNDING PROBLEM, TEACHER SHORTAGE...PSS principals, managers to teach classes full-time. For the first time in many years, public school principals and administrators will be performing double duty this coming school year: running their schools and teaching classes full-time. This has come about because the cash-strapped Public School System does not have enough money to hire the complete number of teachers it needs to man the schools. Due to the lack of teachers, some schools such as Garapan Elementary School will be closing one kindergarten class and six other rooms. Also read the whole story here.... Your lesson assignment ... Now that we have had our lesson and read our assignment, here is the question.. WHY THE HELL DO WE HAVE LOBBYISTS AND PUBLICISTS IN WASHINGTON D.C.?..... Your next assignment: To ask the people we elected to run our business, why this happens, who is responsible for this mess and what they might do about it. You are now dismissed for today.... .....GED......

426- SEAT BELTS

THE NEW WAY TO APPLY SEAT BELTS
Simon knew, by the statistics he had read, that wearing seat belts were very effective in the saving of lives and reducing the chances of injury. He also learned that by applying this new technique of "buckling the belts" greatly reduced the chances of an accident ever happening at all. He calls it the "no more annoying, attention taking, constant chattering noise suppressing technique." This allows the driver to be able to pay full attention to the task of driving the car and not hearing the constant flow of distracting babble coming from the passenger seat. This method should be applied to all autos with a motor mouth companion in the passenger seat. Also this is a great advantage in hearing the radio and and other "traffic" sounds. A modern improvment in traffic safety indeed. ......GED.......

425- BASES LOADED

THIS IS SOME REALLY GOOD SHIT ...YOU HAVE TO READ THIS STORY... Written by Zaldy Dandan, Marianas Variety editor, I got the biggest kick outta this.. Some excerpts are as follows , but you just got to read it all. Click on The Whole Story to get your kick outta this.... And poor Governor Fitial. He had to go all the way to Washington, D.C. exposing himself to national reporters eager to get him on record regarding Abramoff, which they succeeded in doing. Before the U.S. Senate committee, he could only re-hash, regurgitate actually, what Governors Teno, Guerrero, Froilan, Teno again and Babauta have told U.S. lawmakers in the past. That the CNMI will take care of its problems, really! And never mind that similar promises were made and broken in the past. It’s for real now! Really! But like the chamber president’s testimony, the governor’s was bewildered and bewildering. He said without local control over immigration “there is no more reason for me to exist.” Akaka should have replied, “But governor, federal immigration law applies to the 50 states, Puerto Rico, the Virgin Islands and Guam — and the governors there still ‘exist’ and their local governments still run their jurisdictions. So what the hey are you talking about?” At this point, here’s what the governor should have said to make himself clear: “Senator, without local control over immigration, investors would stop wining and dining CNMI officials. Local politicians will lose a bottomless and reliable source of campaign donations and, you know, other forms of ‘assistance.’ I myself can no longer promise anything to fly-by-night investors — you know, the sort of ‘businessmen’ that feds would not even allow to step on the tarmac of Guam’s airport. But with local control over immigration, investors have to be very kind, very very kind, to the governor and key lawmakers. All we want is to have our cake and eat it, too. ETC..ETC..ETC .....GED.....

424- COLD IN D.C.

THIS MUST BE HOW IT FEELS TO "OUR" GOVERNOR IN WASHINGTON... OUT IN THE COLD, IN THE SHIT HOUSE AND TAKING A CRAP, WHILE FOLLOWING THE LATEST DEVELOPMENTS IN THE NEWS, WITHOUT ANY INPUT
After watching the news Friday eve, this is how I feel it must be like in D.C. for the "we don't even want any labor and immigration reforms in the CNMI" group. Out in the cold and in the shit house at best. You would think by now they would be receiving, at least, some subtle clues that their stubborn stance isn't working. Hell, I can even figure that out by my own little self, why can't they? Blockheads, that's what they are. Go ahead, don't get any say as to what happens, don't have any input in the process that eventually will take place, go ahead, stay in the outhouse and let the rest of the world roll on by. No, don't add any ideas as to what might help, don't cooperate with them, just stick to your narrow point of view and let them dictate what is best for you, it will happen with or without you. Enough said. .....GED......

423- TRIVIA

SOME THOUGHS TO LIMBER YOUR MIND AND STIMULATE THE THINKING PROCESS.
In other words, brain exercise. How many of these do you know the answers to?
<--- A book worm looking for the answers.

• Why are there "no shoplifting" signs? Are there other places where it's okay?
• How come psychics never win the lottery?
• When people go to the bathroom, why do they say they'll be right back? Do they ever stay?
• Where do Hawaiians go on vacation?
• What do you call a fly with no wings? A walk?
• If necessity is the mother of invention, how come we have so much useless crap?
• If we don't say "amen," does God just keep on listening?
• How do you blow a French kiss?
• Wouldn't it be easier to take, say, strained peas from a baby?
• How come so many good-looking faces are wasted on ugly people?
• Why don't we ever drop flowers on other countries to let them know that we love them?
• Why do we call it a walk when the batter jogs to first base and becomes a runner?
• When your palm itches, it means that you're about to make money. What does it mean when your balls itch?
• What do you call tights that are too loose?
• ........GED..........

422- WHAT'S NEXT?

WHAT WILL THEY THINK OF NEXT? ROUND BLOCKS?
Square watermelons, guess they will go with a square meal, don't ya think? The caption for the picture....Square watermelons, A round watermelon can take up a lot of room in a refrigerator, and the usually round fruit often sits awkwardly on refrigerator shelves. Smart Japanese farmers have forced their watermelons to grow into a square shape by inserting the melons into square, tempered glass cases while the fruit is still growing on the vine. Therefore shaping the melons into square shapes. Probably is a plus when it comes to packing and shipping too. I though you might be interested. .....GED......

421- SINGLES BAR

.....GED.....

420- GOV. POWER PMTS?

DOES IT REALLY MATTER HOW HIGH THE POWER RATES ARE IF YOU DON'T PAY THEM? How can this government say the higher power rates are hurting them when the don't even pay the goddamn bills. What the hell is this crybaby shit? READ THIS BULLSHIT WILL YA! .........THE Fitial administration, which allowed the Commonwealth Utilities Corp. to double its power rates a year ago, says the high cost of electricity is not just taking its toll on businesses and residents but on the cash-strapped government as well. Our economy is suffering and our businesses and consumers — and even our government — are also suffering from the high cost of public utilities. Clearly, it is in everyone’s best interest, including the administration, to significantly reduce the high cost of power service for maximum economic benefits.”...... Read this whole story here at.. MARIANAS VARIETY. So get off your own sorry asses and do something about it and quit blubbering rivers of sympathy tears. Are you guys not the "leaders"? Just what the hell is your job, then? Just how does the power rates concern you when you don't pay them? Hypocrites, all of this sorry ass government. Do you think we care, that you acknowledge the public and businesses are "suffering" while you go for a free ride. It's probably better if you all just shut the #u< k-up. .....GED.....

419- IT'LL CATCH YOU TOO

12 Reasons You Know When You're Getting Older ...
This will creep up on you faster then you may have ever imagined.

• You answer a question with, "Because I said so!"
• You can live without sex but not without your glasses.
• You quit trying to hold in your stomach, no matter who walks into the room.
• The phone rings and you hope its not for you.
• You enjoy watching the news.
• You really do want a new washing machine for your birthday.
• You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
• You've owned clothes so long that they've come back into style --TWICE.
• You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
• You paint walls for a reason other than getting your deposit back.
• The service station attendant lets you pump your gas before paying.
• You can't remember the last time your I.D. was checked.
• .....GED......

418- WAR COSTS

FOR THE COST OF THE WAR IN IRAQ, CLICK HERE <----

BLOOD, SWEAT. HEARTBREAK, PRAYERS AND TEARS, NOT INCLUDED.







(Try timing this,
I got $1 million = 5 min.)



.......GED......

417- BAR JOKE

THE WOMAN AND THE DUCK.
THIS WOMAN GOES INTO A BAR.
The woman is carrying a duck. As you can see.
Bartender: "Where did you get that pig?"
Woman: "It's not a pig, its a duck."
Bartender: "I was talking to the duck!"
........GED..........

416- WELFARE LETTERS

LETTERS AND QUESTIONS TO THE WELFARE OFFICE, I AM NOT KIDDING!
I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?
I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it?
Please find out if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.
I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.
My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
You have changed my little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?
I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.
No, I did not make these up. These are legitimate but quite amusing.........GED........

415- ERADICATE TERRORISTS

LADIES, YOU TOO CAN HELP STAMP OUT TERROR. Calling all women to help flush out and identify all infiltrators that are here to do our country harm, they must be exposed. See how this works, by exposing yourselves, it will in turn expose them. Here is how the plan works. Ladies simply follow these instructions: Your Nation is Calling!!! There is no limit to what one can do for their country! We must unite for a common cause. Since the hard line Islamic people can not tolerate nudity, and consider it a sin to see a naked woman that is not their wife, not even one, tomorrow night at 6:00 P.M., all women shall run out of their houses naked, and circle their block for 30 minutes. All men shall place lawn chairs in their front lawns to watch, proving that they, indeed, are not terrorists. All those men who turn their heads, close their eyes, and don't watch are likely terrorists and we can identify them quickly. The United States appreciates your efforts, and applauds you. Ladies you are now instructed, time to serve your country......God bless America. And God bless you...Now you have a very nice day!....GED....

414- RAMPANT PARANOIA

THEY'RE RUNNING SCARED, MURPHY'S LAW IS EVERYWHERE, IF IT CAN GO WRONG IT WILL. WE WILL BE RUINED
This seems to be the consensus of everything I'm reading in the news these days, all concerning federalization and immigration. So what does the following mean?.....The leadership of the Saipan Chamber of Commerce expressed fear that, if granted non immigrant visas, thousands of long-term nonresident workers and their families could be “an immense burden” to the CNMI. (A) “Such action allows these individuals the right to remain in the Commonwealth (or, (B) for that matter, relocate to the mainland United States) for purposes of living and working. ?? ?? This action would allow the right to immigrate family members to the Commonwealth under “immediate relative” status. We have estimated that approximately 8,000 current workers in the Commonwealth would qualify for such status. There are two possible outcome scenarios under this grandfather clause, and neither is good,” said Guerrero. He said allowing almost 8,000 individuals “to remain-and to immigrate immediate relatives to join them, for the long-term-are profoundly negative for the Commonwealth.” Or, “They could simply move to the continental United States in search of higher-paying job opportunities, thereby depriving the vast majority of [CNMI] employers of the qualified and experienced labor pool that they have, for years, paid and treated fairly in accordance with CNMI law under the provisions of the Covenant,” the Chamber official said........But on the other hand the legislature is passing laws to send every worker home in three years... So what is it, are they gonna stay or leave? So confusing, are you now as confused as I am? Pass out the Prozac, roll a joint, or find a way to keep from running scared. Me? I don't even give a shit either way, so don't bother me with this mess, its all yours. Find a way to only worry about only one outcome, so there is some hope at least. STAY OR LEAVE, COME OR GO, GO AND WE'LL CRY, STAY AND WE'LL SEND YOU HOME, WHAT THE SHIT. MAKE UP YOUR LITTLE MINDS. .......GED.......

413- YOU CHOOSE

I'M LEAVING THIS ALL UP TO YOU... YOU ANSWER THIS YOURSELF, I HAVE NO INTEREST IN YOUR ANSWER. SO DON'T WRITE ME, WRITE THE BELOW. Tuesday, July 24, 2007..Open letter on Labor Reform Bill..By Jacinta M. Kaipat: Read the whole story here....Special to the Saipan Tribune...
You have gone through years of waiting, first for your lot to be finally turned over to you, you hired a competent architect to design the dream home you were so anxiously awaiting for, a deal with a local contractor is finally signed and you are now ready to see your long awaited and hard fought for dream home to materialize...Finally, Whew, mission accomplished at long last. Your dream is about to develop before your very eyes. Day one, the contractor is going to start the most important phase of your life. You're there a 5:00 A.M. anxious for everything to proceed just like you have planned for so long, all the tough bumps in the road now, somehow, seem trivial, your time has arrived. D-Day. Sure enough the contractor is here, right on time, but alas, your jaw drops, he doesn't have an experienced crew of masons, carpenters, electricians, plumbers etc, but instead a crew made up of "legislated" workers, inexperienced, only having a job due to "status," workers placed there by laws to give jobs to people, not because of their skills, but only because of their local stature. Now you have to stand there and watch your dreams come crashing down around you as these inept "workers" go to work with no clues as how to build our dream. Scary isn't it? This is way your new labor reform bill will work for you. SO THE QUESTION IS, IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT? WELL THIS IS WHAT YOU ARE GONNA BE GETTING.
Now don't bother bothering me with this, for I'm only the messenger, answer the question for yourself. That's all. ......GED.....

412- NAME THIS

ALTHOUGH IT IS NO LONGER IN EXISTENCE CAN YOU GUESS WHAT THIS IS? Well, I'm gonna tell you without you having to think too much. Here it is......The Thylacine (Thylacinus cynocephalus) was the largest known carnivorous marsupial of modern times. Native to Australia and New Guinea, it is thought to have become extinct in the 20th century. It is commonly known as the Tasmanian Tiger (due to its striped back), and also known as the Tasmanian Wolf, and colloquially the Tassie (or Tazzy) Tiger or simply the Tiger.[a] It was the last extant member of its genus, Thylacinus, although a number of related species have been found in the fossil record dating back to the early Miocene.

AND NOW THIS, TO ALL YOU UNDERWATER EXPLORERS,
WHAT IS THIS?
Don't ask me, I'm asking you, all I have is this caption...
Photographers capture 'space alien' ocean creatures.
An ideas?
......GED.......

411- ANOTHER "NEW" WONDER

ANOTHER "NEW" WONDER TO PUT IN THE SELECTION FOR THE NEWEST 7 WONDERS OF THE WORLD.
Although not complete yet this new building in Dubai is now the tallest building in the world, and is still growing. Some information about this new development.....
DUBAI, United Arab Emirates — Developers of a 1,680-foot skyscraper still under construction in oil-rich Dubai claimed Saturday that it has become the world's tallest building, surpassing Taiwan's Taipei 101 which has dominated the global skyline at 1,667 feet since 2004. The Burj Dubai is expected to be finished by the end of 2008 and its planned final height has been kept secret. The state-owned development company Emaar Properties, one of the main builders in rapidly developing Dubai, said only that the tower would stop somewhere above 2,275 feet. When completed, the skyscraper will feature more than 160 floors, 56 elevators, luxury apartments, boutiques, swimming pools, spas, exclusive corporate suites, Italian fashion designer Giorgio Armani's first hotel, and a 124th floor observation platform. A "monumental" building at best. This is another of my picks. .....GED.....

410- TRANS-AM'S AND HONEYCOMBS

PONTIAC TRANS AM , COME AND LISTEN TO MY STORY 'BOUT A MAN NAMED... Mark,.. Mark was one of my good friends. We were in Houston in the 1980's We kept telling Mark ..You are gonna loose your honeycombs (Rims) (click on pic to see rims) to the Mexican thieves. Well wadda you know , one morning Marks car was gone. Outta there, gone. The thieves not only stole the rims but the whole car too. Now this brings on the rest of my story... The police in Houston told us, never mind, your car is gone, report it to your insurance company... Well Mark did that, getting a really good deal from his insurance company. Well he did. He got a Olds Tornado, paid in full from the Trans Am's insurance policy. Now that was very good for him. Now here's my side of the story..He called me one day bragging about the good deal he got from his insurance company. I was very glad to hear his news, so I did this...Two weeks after he told me all about the good things that happened to him with a new car , I called him back. I said "The Houston police have found your car, and they want you to pick it up." "They said it was only burnt a little and the honeycombs were gone." Well this freaked him out, bad, not wanting to lose the good deal he got from his insurance company. He told me to get it and bury it, and never let anyone see it again, (now I must tell you how easy it was for us to to bury a car, with a D-8 dozer take a few swipes in the dirt, dig a hole, run over the car a few times, push the dirt back on top, and, presto it's gone.) Now here is the rest of that phone conversation when I told him I was only kidding... Why you idio6*(:#%$*#$)$#%^*n3$&*-!@3+#_@5J *658v_fucckk you..I think he was pissed.. The car was never re(un)covered.......GED......

409r- DUCK HUNTERS

A TRULY FUNNY STORY, THIS ONE HAD ME LAUGHING OUT LOUD. YOU NEED TO USE SOME MENTAL IMAGES TO TRULY APPRECIATE THIS.. Truly stupid people 01: A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $40,000+, and has $500.00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill... Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand Cherokee) would be waiting and ran back quickly, they would risk slipping on the ice as they ran from the imminent explosion and could possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. After a little deliberation, they come up with lighting and THROWING the dynamite, which is what they end up doing. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG???? Yes, the dog. The driver's pet Black Lab (used for retrieving - especially things thrown by the owner). You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, reaching the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice - all to the woe of the two idiots which are now yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering what the hell to do now... The dog is happy and now heads back toward the "hunters" with the stick of dynamite. I think we all can picture the ever-increasing concern on the part of the brain trust, as the loyal Labrador Retriever approaches. The Bozos now are REALLY waving their arms - yelling even louder and generally feeling kinda panicked... Now finally one of the guys decides to think - something that neither had done before this moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. This sounds better than it really is, because the shotgun was loaded with #8 duck shot and hardly effective enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog DID stop for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on. Another shot, and this time the dog - still standing, became REALLY confused and of course scared... Thinking that these two Nobel Prize Winners have gone TOTALLY INSANE, the pooch takes off to find cover with a now extremely short fuse still burning on the stick of dynamite. The cover the dogs finds? Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee worth 40-some thousand dollars the $500.00+ monthly payment vehicle that is sitting nearby on the lake ice. BOOM! Dog dies, vehicle sinks to bottom of lake, and these two "Co-Leaders of the Known Universe" are left standing there with this "I can't EVEN believe this happened to me" look on their faces. Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company and is promptly informed that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT covered on his policy...He had yet to make his first car payment. Jeep--$40,000....Dog--$2,500....Dynamite--$7.50.... This scenario-- Priceless. .....GED....

408- A "NEW" WONDER

THE DENMARK SWEDISH BRIDGE/TUNNEL (ORESUND BRIDGE)

THIS COULD CERTAINLY BE CONSIDERED ONE OF THE NEW SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD. There seems to be a little question going around as what the new seven wonders of the world should be since all the "new" selections were "old." Some people seem to want, (and quiet rightly so) something "new" to be named to the "new" seven wonders. Well here is my pick. (You MUST click pic.'s.)

Satellite image of the Oresund Bridge. View from Malmö. View from Öresund. The Oresund Bridge (Danish Øresundsbroen, Swedish Öresundsbron, joint hybrid name Øresundsbron) is a combined two-track rail and four-lane road bridge across the Oresund strait. The bridge-tunnel is the longest combined road and rail bridge in Europe and connects the two metropolitan areas of the Oresund Region: the Danish capital of Copenhagen and the Swedish city of Malmö. The international European route E20 runs across the bridge, as does the Oresund Railway Line. Features: The bridge has one of the longest cable-stayed main spans in the world at 490 metres (1,608 ft). The height of the highest pillar is 204 metres (669 ft). The total length of the bridge is 7,845 metres (25,738 ft), (4.87 mi.) which is approximately half the distance between the Swedish and Danish landmasses, and its weight is 82,000 metric tons. The rest of the distance is spanned by the artificial island Peberholm (Pepper islet) (4,055 m), named as a counterpart to the already existing Saltholm islet, followed by a tunnel on the Danish side. The tunnel is 4,050 metres (13,287 ft) (2.51 mi.) long, a 3,510 metre long buried undersea tunnel plus two 270-metre gate-tunnels. On the bridge, the two rail-tracks are beneath the four road lanes. The bridge has a vertical clearance of 57 metres (187 ft), although most boat traffic across Oresund still passes over the Drogden strait (where the tunnel lies). The bridge was designed by Arup. .....An amazing feat of construction, indeed. .....GED.....

407- ANIMAL FIGHTING

THREE DIFFERENT SPECIES OF ANIMALS FIGHTING
Michael Vick, Atlanta Falcons star quarterback has brought dog fighting to the front pages of the news. Although this is getting most of the attention today, I would like to bring some other fighting animals into focus. Cock fighting is seen right here in the CNMI while human beating and bashing is prevalent in Guam. I personally don't approve of any of this savageries. While cocks and dogs are fought till death, the 'human' counterparts are even more disgusting, beating each other senseless and to the point of brain damage. My question is, for what, a little glory, some money or some foolish sense of pride?
I think we all could do without any of this brutal, animalistic exibitions. What think ye? ....GED....

406- BLOCKHEADED

OUR "unelected" ATTORNEY GENERAL, "serving at the pleasure of the governor" AS DESCRIBED BY ASST. INTERIOR SECRETARY DAVID COHEN AT THE TALKS ON CNMI FEDERALIZATION MEETINGS IN WASHINGTON D.C.

'Uncooperative' He also criticized the local government, particularly CNMI Attorney General Matthew T. Gregory, for not cooperating with the federal government on refugee protection matters. According to Cohen, the CNMI has not responded to requests for cooperation by the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services. In a most recent case, he said, Gregory declined a federal inquiry about a group of cases that have aroused U.S. concern due to possible foreign attempt at interference. Cohen said Gregory also accused the U.S. Departments of State and Homeland Security of “attempting to unbalance the scales of justice” by bringing up the issue. According to Cohen, Gregory's action “raises serious doubts about the CNMI's capacity to adequately carry out the refugee protection program.” For the whole story.. Saipan Tribune .. Now this should really boost the CNMI's stand against federalization, don't ya think? A real blockhead, all in favor of federalization give this genius a round of applause! I suppose he thinks he can thwart the U.S. government by simply ignoring them, I don't think this will work in any way shape or form. Thank-you A.G. for your unwitting support, our hats are off to you and your way of conducting business with your superiors. Way to go! .....GED.....

405- MY POINT EXACTLY

HERE IS THE RED FLAGGED BEACHES STORY. DON'T ANYONE CARE? WHO WANTS TO VACATION HERE? (SEE#401)

Friday, July 20, 2007: Six beach sites red-flagged.. The Division of Environmental Quality has red-flagged five beach sites on Saipan and one on Rota after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria. The affected Saipan sites are Jeffrey's Beach, Old Man By The Sea, South Laulau Beach, Ladder Beach and Unai Dangkulo. The affected Rota site is District #2 Storm Drainage (07). Samples collected from these locations were found to contain concentrations of enterococci that exceeded the CNMI Marine Water Quality Standards. These bacteria can indicate the presence of human and animal waste in the water. DEQ advises the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of these locations for the next 48 hours or until notified. DEQ analyzed samples of 12 Saipan east and south recreational beaches and from 12 locations on Rota.
Search Results for "RED and FLAG and BEACHES": Your search has returned 175 results... This is page 1 of 7.. Date..

5 Saipan beaches red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on five beaches on Saipan after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria... 7/11/2007

Rota beach red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has red-flagged the District No. 2 storm drainage beach site on Rota after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria... 6/30/2007

Seven Saipan beaches red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on seven Saipan beach sites after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria... 6/24/2007

DEQ red-flags six Saipan beaches. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on six beach sites on Saipan after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicators bacteria... 6/16/2007

Four Saipan beaches red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on four beaches on Saipan and two on Rota after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria... 6/2/2007

Red flag up at six Saipan beach sites. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised red-flagged six beach sites on Saipan after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria... 5/25/2007

3 beaches red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on the North Laulau Beach, Unai Dangkulo, and Old Man By The Sea after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria (enterococci) that exceeded the CNMI Marine Water Quality Standards... 4/27/2007

4 Saipan beaches red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on four Saipan beach sites: Tanapag Meeting Hall, Central Repair Shop, American Memorial Park Drainage, and Drainage #1 (Hafa-Adai Hotel Drainage)... 4/20/2007

Eight Saipan beaches red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on eight beach sites on Saipan after samples showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria... 3/22/2007

2 Saipan sites red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on Marine Beach and Unai Dangkulo and advises the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of these locations for the next 48 hours or until otherwise notified... 3/14/2007

13 sites on Saipan red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised a red flag on Plumeria Hotel, Central Repair Shop, Sea Plane Ramp, DPW Channel Bridge, Micro Beach, Hafadai Beach Hotel, Drainage #2 (Hafadai Beach Hotel drainage), Garapan Fishing Dock, Garapan Beach, Chalan Laulau Beach, Sugar Dock, Chalan Piao, and Hopwood School Beach and advised the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of these locations for the next 48 hours or until otherwise notified... 3/9/2007

DEQ raises red flag on South Laulau Beach. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised a red flag on South Laulau Beach and has advised the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of these locations for the next 48 hours or until otherwise notified... 3/7/2007

DPW Channel Bridge, Garapan Fishing Dock red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has given DPW Channel Bridge and Garapan Fishing Dock a red flag and advises the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of these locations for the next 48 hours or until otherwise notified... 2/17/2007

Two beach sites red-flagged. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on South LauLau Beach on Saipan and the Unai Babaui beach on Tinian after samples collected from both sites were found to contain concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria that exceeded the CNMI Marine Water Quality Standards... 2/8/2007 . ARE YOU GETTING AS TIRED OF THIS AS I AM? SO I WILL DO NO MORE EDITING. THIS IS ONLY ONE PAGE OF SEVEN, ARE YOU GETTING MY DRIFT YET?

Red flag up at 5 beaches. The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on five beach sites on Saipan after samples collected were found to contain excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 12/29/2006 Local 13 beaches on Saipan red-flaggedThe Division of Environmental Quality has red-flagged 13 beach sites on Saipan after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 11/12/2006 Local 7 Saipan beaches red-flaggedThe Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on seven beach sites on Saipan after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 11/11/2006 Local Four beaches red-flaggedThe Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on four beach sites on Saipan after samples collected from these locations were found to contain excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 10/20/2006 Local Red flag raised on 14 beach sitesThe Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on 14 beach sites on Saipan after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 10/6/2006 Local Red flag up at 3 beachesThe Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on three beach sites on Saipan: Hidden Beach, North Laulau Beach, and Ladder Beach.More... 9/29/2006 Local Red flag raised on Rota beachThe Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on the Kokomo Beach on Rota after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 9/8/2006 Local Old Man by the Sea red-flaggedThe Division of Environmental Quality has given Old Man by the Sea a red flag and advises the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of the locations for the next 48 hours or until otherwise notified.More... 8/17/2006 Local 10 Saipan beaches red-flaggedThe Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on 10 beach sites on Saipan after samples collected showed excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria.More... 8/5/2006 Local Red flag up on four beach sitesThe Division of Environmental Quality raised the red flag at three beach areas on Saipan and at Rota's Swimming Hole due to excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria, which exceeded the CNMI Water Quality Standards.More... 8/3/2006 Local Next Page 1 .....This is not a rare or occasional occurrence this is the status-quo, daily, routine, all the time. Enough of this already. ......GED.....

404- CRYBABIES

DEMOCRATS LOSE VOTE, TAKE THEIR DIAPERS TUCK 'UM IN THEIR ASSES AND GO HOME. What a bunch of babies this very group of "we will rule the world idiots," not only lost their vote but their dignity too it seems. So they took the whole bill, the one that supports the troops and withdrew it all. Some
excerpts ....Senate Democrats had staged an all-night debate, complete with cots for lawmakers to sleep off the Senate floor, in a dramatic attempt to wear down Republicans who refuse to vote to begin to bring troops home by fall.
Republicans responded with a yawn — agreeing to stay around and respond to any votes that might be scheduled around-the-clock but remaining steadfast in their opposition to the Democrats' anti-war legislation.
After the vote, Reid temporarily pulled the defense authorization bill that also includes pay raises for service members, missile defense programming, rules on habeas corpus rights for Guantanamo Bay detainees, equipment development plans and other policies that help shape the military spending bill for the coming fiscal year. ( I'm taking my ball and leaving! See.)
Reid later said the bill's temporary demise will not harm ongoing military operations and would not delay improvements at Walter Reed or delay the 3.5 percent military pay raise also included in the bill.... Now before all you indignant Democratic supporters get your bowls in an uproar, I 'm not saying the Republicans got it right either, (Congress has only a 14% approval rating) All I'm saying is these democrats are proving themselves to be no better than what was there before, Kinda like the CNMI, And probably focuses a picture of the next presidential election, It'll be the same silly shit. .....GED.....

403- SHORT MEMORIES

THE POT CALLING THE KETTLE BLACK? Or is it the COW PATTY CALLING THE BULLSHIT SMELLY? Can you believe this shit, well I can't, and I don't know why the hell they think we can't see through this. Check this out....“If the conduct admitted to in (Zachares’) plea agreement is true, it would also appear that Mr. Zachares violated CNMI law by accepting $10,000 from Mr. Abramoff while employed as a CNMI official,” Gregory said. “The CNMI is a victim of the Abramoff conspiracy in other ways, not only in the overcharging of lobbying fees, but most significantly in the besmirching of the commonwealth’s reputation,” he added. (This right here is a bad case of bullshit.) Fitial earlier said he considered Abramoff his and the CNMI’s friend. Now who hired this guy? Did he just push his own way in here and force the CNMI to hand over $11 million dollars? Abramoff successfully blocked legislation to federalize the island’s minimum wage immigration system. Months after Abramoff pled guilty in Jan. 2006, the CNMI government wrote letters to his two former lobby firms seeking restitution of lobby payments estimated at $11 million. And now they have the balls to ask for it back!.. The whole story here.. Marianas Variety . And now we have a new contract, with another lobbyist (renewed) and we're gonna smell like shit again, this is just preposterous. They want us to think they had nothing to do with this scandal. Oh well, still the same, nothing ever changes. .....GED....

402- IT'S ABOUT TIME

KUDOS AND MANY THANKS SENATORS, THIS IS BADLY NEEDED! PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP OR LET THIS RIDE, WE ARE COUNTING ON YOU! Thursday, July 19, 2007....US Inspector General asked to audit CUC....Two local senators are asking the U.S. inspector general to audit the Commonwealth Utilities Corp. Senators Paul A. Manglona and Jude U. Hofschneider said they would have directed their request to the CNMI public auditor, but his office is understaffed and overwhelmed with many other requests. They added that a federal audit would be warranted under the Grant Pledge Agreement and the Operations and Management contract between CUC and the federal government. In a letter to deputy assistant secretary of the Interior David B. Cohen, the senators raised concerns about CUC's billing system and management practices. Manglona and Hofschneider also cited alleged mismanagement at CUC. They complained about the lack of regular maintenance to generators, line loss, and theft at the utility. They also reported allegations that portions of the fuel surcharge were being misused. For the whole story click here.. Saipan Tribune ......It's time to bring this 'out of control' madness under scrutiny. This reckless and irresponsible Crooked Utility Company needs to be choked by the neck and be held accountable, to bring this, Corruption Under Control. They are bleeding these islands to a very certain, and not a slow death, either. You have the support of every honest citizen that pays their bills on time. (Does not include the central government or power thieves.) This bides well at election time, and makes a lot more sense then wine sipping legislation bills at this time. ......GED.....

401- THEY DON'T GET IT

SEATS ARRIVING THE CNMI

LET ME EXPLAIN THIS ONE MORE TIME IN THE SIMPLEST WAY I CAN. .(MVA) — The Marianas Visitors Authority says the June arrival numbers continue to show a decline in visitors to the islands. The answer to our challenge is quite straightforward. We need additional airline seats coming into the CNMI to get us out of this dire situation. Without the needed seats, the tourists simply can’t get to our islands and as they choose other destinations to visit, (how do they get there? By boat, car, or walk?) we run the risk of not being able to attract those visitors back to our islands.” HERE IT IS, A STRAIGHT SHOT BETWEEN YOUR EYES: You don't need seats, seats don't want to come here, nor do they spend any money when they do get here. What you need is TOURISTS to fill the seats. Seats don't beget tourists, tourists get seats. Arriving seats don't do you any good, its the tourists in the seats that are helpful, if seats come here without tourists what good is it? The airlines surely don't get paid to bring empty seats. If tourists want to come here they will get seats... If you provide a decent market they will come,.. if they want to come the airlines will fly,.. that's their business anyway, isn't it?.. The airlines want to bring tourists, not seats... Is this really that hard to comprehend? Now, you ask, but why don't the tourists want to come? Just why aren't they attracted here? This is the last time I'm gonna tell you this too. They don't like it here, the beaches, contrary to popular belief are not pristine, but red flagged, in other words, polluted, memorials and attractions are in disrepair and graffiti covered, beaches are dirty and littered, public restrooms are filthy and unkept, prices charged are a rip-offs, cars get robbed and purses get snatched. If you don't get the picture by now, you never will, so forgettaboutitt. .....GED......

400- A NEW HIGH- 400

SOME GOOD 'OLE DOWN HOME, DEEP SOUTH REASONING.
<---- BUBBA
CAN'T BE DISPUTED, COMMON SENSE AT IT'S BEST
Bubba went to a psychiatrist. "I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy." "Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come talk to me three times a week, and we should be able to get rid of those fears." "How much do you charge?" "Eighty dollars per visit, replied the doctor." "I'll sleep on it," said Bubba. Six months later the doctor met Bubba on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me about those fears you were having?" asked the psychiatrist. "Well, eighty bucks a visit three times a week for a year is an awful lot of money! A bartender cured me for $10. I was so happy to have saved all that money that I went and bought me a new pickup!" "Is that so? And how, may I ask, did a bartender cure you?" "He told me to cut the legs off the bed! - Ain't nobody been under there since!!!... "So very simple, and dang good common sense too. .....GED......