319- HELPFUL HINTS

TEN USEFUL IDEAS TO MAKE LIFE EASIER
Helpful Hints for Life:............. If you're bidding on a job for UPS, don't send your bid by FedEx.
It's okay to use the Polaroid Land Camera on a boat.
If you go to the computer store to buy a mousepad, you don't have to specify whether it's for a Windows or a Macintosh.
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.
Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding an old TV or video remote control up to your ear.
Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the subsequent food poisoning/diarrhoea enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.
No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by simply peeling it off.
Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet.
If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly removed.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish washing liquid and
banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
Now you have a lovely day! ......GED......