M28- COUPL'A GOOD 'UNS

TROLLING FOR GRINS

This should bring out a few....
A man had lost one of his arms in an accident. One day he felt terribly depressed and decided to commit suicide. He got into an elevator and went to the top of a building to jump off. He was standing on the ledge looking down and saw this man skipping along, whistling and kicking up his heels. He looked closer and saw this man didn't have any arms at all. He started thinking, what am I doing up here feeling sorry for myself. I still have one good arm to do things with. There goes a man with no arms skipping down the sidewalk happy and going on with his life. He hurried down to the street and caught up to the man with no arms. He told him how glad he was to see him because he had lost one of his arms and felt ugly and useless and was going to kill himself. He thanked him again for saving his life and he knew he could make it with one arm if that guy could go on with no arms. The man with no arms began dancing and kicking up his heels again. The one armed man asked, "why are you so happy anyway?" He said, "I'm NOT happy .... my ass itches!

It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds. As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.! He stopped and asked them why they were sitting there in the car. Were they trying to steal it? 'Heavens no, we bought it.' 'Then why don't you drive it away.' 'We can't drive.' 'Then why did you buy it?' 'We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed . . . so we're just waiting.

And last but not least.....

THE FIREFIGHTER:

A firefighter was working on the engine outside the station when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a firefighter' s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat. The fire fighter walked over to take a closer look. "That sure is a nice fire truck," the firefighter said with admiration. "Thanks," the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles. "Little partner," the firefighter said. "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster." The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."

.....GED.....