A FEW SHORTIES FOR YAThe most powerful liquid in the world!
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby. "The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson."
The secret to a flat tummy has been discovered!
A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks' "What were you and dad doing? "
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
You're wasting your time." says the boy.
Why is that? asked his mom, puzzled?
Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up".
A little boy was sitting on the curb with a gallon of turpentine and shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A little while later a Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy replied, "This is the most powerful liquid in the world, it's called turpentine."
The Priest said, "No, the most powerful liquid in the world is Holy Water. If you take some of this Holy Water and rub it on a pregnant women's belly, she'll pass a healthy baby. "The little boy replied, "You take some of this here turpentine and rub it on a cat's ass and he'll pass a Harley Davidson."
The secret to a flat tummy has been discovered!
A little boy walks into his parents room to see his mom on top of his dad bouncing up and down.
The mom sees her son and quickly dismounts, worried about what her son has seen, she dresses quickly and goes to find him.
The son sees his mom and asks' "What were you and dad doing? "
The mother replies "Well you know your dad has a big tummy and sometimes I have to get on top of it to help flatten it."
You're wasting your time." says the boy.
Why is that? asked his mom, puzzled?
Well when you go shopping the lady next door comes over and gets on her knees and blows it right back up".
Famous last words
The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged they had "covertly" funded a project with the U.S. automakers for the past 5 years, whereby the automakers were installing black-box voice recorders in 4-wheel drive pickup trucks and SUV's in an effort to determine in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before the crash.
They were surprised to find in 38 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61 percent of fatal crashes were,
They were surprised to find in 38 of the 50 states the recorded last words of drivers in 61 percent of fatal crashes were,
"Look Out!" The other 39 percent were, "Oh Shit!"
Only the southern states were different, where 48.5 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin'." The other 51.5 were "Watch This Shit."
Only the southern states were different, where 48.5 percent of the final words were: "Hold my beer, I'm gonna try somethin'." The other 51.5 were "Watch This Shit."
.....GED.....
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