NAME THIS ANIMAL I

Do you know what kind of animal this is? Is it a Catcoon, or maybe Raccat. Do you think it is a mixed breed or an animal unto its self? Maybe its only a stuffed toy, or maybe an artist painting. Give it a guess, ask the people around you what they think it is. Now if you are a smarty and know, for sure, don't tell 'um yet, let them guess. I give no hints, its all up to you to figure it out.
Figured it out yet? Done guessing? What did you come up with?

O.K. you will need to click on "comments" below to find out, while you are there tell me what you guessed, tell the truth now. Leave your comment please. ........GED.........

WANTED 1 ACRE

WOULD YOU LIKE TO OWN A MINIATURE GOLF COURSE?

If you have one acre of land in an accessible location you could own a profitable business of managing a miniature golf course. The advantage of mini golf is nothing is consumed for it to operate. Once the initial cost of building the course are expended, the only costs are the labor to operate it. This can be very minimal compared to the income. If you would like to pursue this farther, contact:





........GED.........(click on card)

NEW POSTAGE STAMP

Shown here is the latest issue of the U.S. Postal Service's 90 cent stamp. This issue comes out June 1st. Pictured on this stamp is the beautiful Hagatna Bay in Guam. I believe it's a picture of a sunrise rather than a sunset, but I'm not sure whats your guess? Sunrises, sunsets, oceans, palm trees and islands what combination of things could make a more beautiful picture. Whenever you see this stamp, remember you saw it here first.
............GED..........

INCREDIBLE

Read it for yourself. Actual clippings direct from the source.









Summer sausage,

and condoms?

Ben Franklin,

President?

Really tiny kids?

(click on pictures)

.........GED.........

WHERE'S THE BEEF

WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITH 600 lbs. OF BEEF?

A cow with a broken leg-possibly sustained after being hit by a car-was abandoned today. The bloodied cow, weighing about 600 pounds, was tied to a utility pole. “The owner tied it up and left it with no food or water." Edgar G. Tudor, a veterinarian, said. We provided the cow with water, and covered it with a blanket and hosed it down so the animal would at least be comfortable. Tudor said the cow has a broken leg. He surmised it was probably hit by a car and the unidentified owner loaded it on a trailer and abandoned it in front of his hospital. “But the cow needs to be humanely taken care of because there is nothing you can do for a cow with a broken leg,” he explained....... Nothing to do with a 600 lb. cow?????.. I think someone should come to the rescue and THROW A BAR-B-QUE that's what you do with a 600 lb. cow. What were these people taught, send it to a morgue, have a funeral, dig a grave? Lets have steaks and ribs, top sirloin, T-bones all that good stuff, you get the cow, I'll bring the beer wadda ya' think?........GED........

P.S. Does this look like the cow made famous just 10 posts earlier? Compare the pictures...

REAL TALES

Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.......
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he no longer wanted them to cross there.........
Michael Anderson Godwin made News of the Weird posthumously. He had spent several years awaiting South Carolina's electric chair on a murder conviction before having his sentence reduced to life in prison. Whilst sitting on a metal toilet in his cell and attempting to fix his small TV set, he bit into a wire and was electrocuted.
There's always a nit-wit out there, somewhere, just waiting to do something incredibly stupid.........GED..........

NEW INDUSTRY

EXTRA!! EXTRA!! READ ALL ABOUT IT!!

A new industry is coming to the Northern Marianas. Two new fishing boats will be arriving soon. Read the following excerpt.

NORTHERN Marianas Fisheries, Inc. — formally known as Lady Kimberly Inc. — has announced in a media release that it has received full financial funding to commence the commercial fisheries project that was announced early last year on Saipan.
Courtney Zietzke, the company president, said the company’s freezing operations will be based on Rota with additional operations on Saipan.“The company will employ local people with high paying jobs, which will help provide economic security for this area”, said Zietzke.
“We will be working closely with the local CNMI fishermen’s co–op association in order to cross market and sell the fish catch both locally and internationally. The local CNMI employment will exceed 25 and grow when we expand operations in the near future. We hope to see employment increases in marine support industries as well,” said Zietzke. Northern Marianas Fisheries owns two commercial, deep sea, long line fishing vessels which are scheduled to arrive in the CNMI next month.
The company plans to fish outside of 20 nautical miles surrounding the CNMI area. This operation is fully compliant with Hazard Analysis Critical Control Point and is “dolphin safe,” said Glenn H. Manglona, the company’s vice president.The two fishing vessels that are re-locating to the CNMI are the FV Miss Saipan and the FV Lady Carolina.

Well there ya' go, anybody interested in fisnin'. Pay is about a buck five ninty-five, plus free tuna on the- all you can eat in one sittin', basis. No landlubbers need apply, cause we are the men o' the sea. No need for pansy wansy dudes, only men who can swab a deck, handle a line, pilot a boat thru though violent seas and work your ass off.... Come on with the sishimi!

...........GED...........

IDIOT TEST Part II

THE SECOND ROUND OF THE IDIOT TEST. Even the asses look smarter this time.

11. If there are three apples and you take away two, how many do you have?
12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins?
13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there is an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which would you light first?
14. How far can a dog run into the woods?
15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?
16. A farmer has 17 sheep and all but 9 die. How many are left?
17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the Ark?
18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5 foot 10 inches tall. What does he weigh?
19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?
20. What was the President's name in 1950?

Click on "comments" for the answers.
Less than 5 correct...your an idiot!
Post your name and score, if you aren't embarrassed.
...........GED...........

IDIOT TEST Part I

TAKE THIS TEST...SCORE ONE POINT FOR EACH CORRECT ANSWER

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?
2. How many birthdays does the average man have?
3. Some months have 31 days. How many have 28 days?
4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents. The woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?
5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?
6. How many outs are there in an inning?
7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister?
8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.
9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?
10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have a southern exposure. A bear walks by. What color is the bear?

(Click on "comments" for answers.) (less than 5 points makes you an idiot, be honest.)
(Post your name and score if you took this test)..........GED..........

QUESTIONS FOR YOU

WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK ABOUT THIS BLOG. I WOULD LIKE ANY THOUGHTS, IDEAS, SUGGESTIONS OR COMMENTS, WHETHER THEY BE GOOD, BAD OR INDIFFERENT. YOU NOW HAVE THE FLOOR ...SET...GO!

Click on "comments" at the bottom to speak your piece.

POKER ROBBERIES

What's with all these poker room robberies, crack freaks needing a quick stash of cash? Gott'a steal to support the habit, I guess, so what are we, and the DPS going to do about it? Well I want to tell you this, it's not only up to the DPS it really goes back to our laws. This means judges and the legislature. Oh, DPS will catch them, but it seems things grind to a halt there. They get a slap on the wrist, a suspended sentence and we wait till they do it again. WE NEED SOME TOUGH KICK-ASS LAWS!! Why did we build that $20,000,000+ million dollar jail? For what? politicians to play musical funding? Lets see if we can afford a commissioner and staff and operate it? I say, what the HELL are they doing? Lets open that yellow elephant up and put some of these ass-holes away. Try this capital hill and weak judges....5 YEARS MANDATORY FOR ROBBERIES.... with another 5 YEARS MANDATORY added on for USING A WEAPON. While you dilly-dally on capital hill PEOPLE ARE GETTING HURT, TRAUMATIZED AND ROBBED. Stop this renaming of streets, adding holidays and then revoking them weeks later, and passing dumb legislation and do something that takes some balls. Now you legislated a law to put security guards at all poker establishments, without any power to actually stop an armed robber. So I ask you DOES THIS STUPID LAW WORK??? It appears to me IT'S NOT WORKING, so how do you see it? Well I must stop ranting but these guys really PISS ME OFF. Please add your comments as to what you think needs to be done to stop the madness........GED.......

AND I QUOTE:

DID THEY REALLY SAY THIS? IT WAS IN THE NEWS!

The strategic plan, which is being implemented primarily by the Marianas Visitors Authority, part of the strategy is to position the CNMI as a “medium-priced destination” rather than “an expensive low-cost destination.”...........I'm worried that every time you have an agency that fails to follow the law, you see reaction from other agencies,” Guerrero had said........... Tudela said: “I never approved such memos especially if I don't know what they are,” he told Saipan Tribune...........“All of them are a bit behind,” said Fund administrator Mark A. Aguon in an interview yesterday. “It's not an issue with delinquency” he added..............Charles P. Reyes Jr. said the study should begin “pretty soon. It's a high priority item"...............The CNMI has adopted zoning law in 1993, suspended it in 1994, and restored it in 2004. .............The proposal provides for two types of offset procedures-voluntary and involuntary....All excerpts taken from the newspapers........GED........

JACK SCHITT

FROM BRIER PATCH , WEST VIRGINIA

Did anyone ever tell you that you don't know Jack Schitt? Well I want to introduce him to you so you never have to be in that embarrassing situation of not knowing Jack Schitt ever again. Shown here to your immediate left (the man in the picture) is Jack Schitt, right next to him, to his right, is his lovely wife of 57 years, Ima Schitt.

Now, this loving, enduring, and till death do us part, relationship produced two handsome sons.They were named ( from left to right) as Giva Schitt and Scream'in Schitt. Oh! and the pig was

fondly named Peacea Schitt. Get it? for peace and love, no war and all that crap. Now it seems the two sons found a couple of gals, yup, some real hot to trotters they were, Giva, well he hooked up with a sweetie named Godda and became known as the Godda, Giva Schitt family, while good ol'e Scream'in ran off and eloped with a little lass named, yes, you guessed it, Miss Bluea and they became known from near and far as the Bluea, Scream'in Schitt family. After awhile Giva and Godda produced an offspring, a son, who they fondly named Flyin and therefore became the Godda, Giva, Flyin Schitt clan. On the other hand, Scream'in and Bluea got together and created a beautiful little girl and they proudly named her Roni. O.K, I know you got it already

theeee Bluea, Scream'in Roni Schitt clan. Now I could go on for two more generations of Schitts but I think its best to give it up now. SO if any and I mean ANYONE ever tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt, you tell 'um you not only know Jack Schitt, but you also know his whole dang family too.........GED..........

COW

Now what can you say about a cow? There is, HOW NOW BROWN COW, or this one, THE COW JUMPED OVER THE MOON, or the old saying, THEY'LL TAKE TILL THE COWS COME HOME. Now you see this cow is sooooo boring, there is nothing exiting about this cow. Nope, almost zero, zilch, none, nada, nothing exciting at all about this lazy old cow, all you see is a plain simple cow laying down, and absolutely doing nothing. And now my question to you, my friend, is, how long are you gonn'a keep reading about this cow. Guess I gotch'a! I have kept you reading this whole story about a cow for the last few minutes, captured your undivided attention about a sleepy ol'e cow, bet you didn't know a cow was so interesting? Or that you would even be interested in it long enough to read all this..........GED.........SO HOLY COW!

FOR REDNECKS and CHINESE

Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia ? .....Everyone has the same DNA.
What's the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?......A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with..... "a recipe".
What's the difference between a Yankee fairytale and a Redneck fairytale?......A Yankee fairytale begins "Once upon a time ..." -A Redneck fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh * it...".
Why do drivers' education classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?......Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Why is there no Disneyland in China?......No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?......They named him "Sum Ting Wong"..............GED............

NOT GOOD

If this plane is landing, and you are on it, breath a sigh of relief. Whew! we made it. If this plane is just taking off, and you are on it, how long will you have to contemplate the possible results of your landing? Could make for a long nervous flight..... Reminds me of a flight I was on a long time ago. The pilot announced that one landing gear warning light was on, indicating one set of landing wheels weren't extended. The co-pilot looking through a window in the bottom of the plane confirmed that they were, indeed down, but not locked in. We landed on a emergency run-way with fire trucks and ambulances lining both sides of the run-way. I'm still here, the gear held. As we departed the plane and saw the next long line of passengers anxiously awaiting to board the same plane, I had but one thought....I'm glad to be getting off...Rather than getting on.........GED........ (click photo to read inscription)

SEE IT FOR YOURSELF

PICTURES SPEAK A THOUSAND WORDS.......You saw it here...Need I say more?...CLICK ON PICTURES TO ZOOM IN........GED.......

WHATS YOUR JOB?

Did you ever feel things were closing in on you and the whole world just seem to be weighing heavy on your shoulders? That everybody was putting the load on you? Does life seem to be treating you unfairly and you feel taken advantage of? That if it wasn't for bad luck you would have no luck at all? Does everything look bleak and dreary and all looks hopelessly and helplessly out of grasp? Do you want help with all you problems and a solid and caring shoulder to lean on, a hand to come out of the darkness and give you a boost just when you need it the most? A friend you can count on in times of dire needs, who is always ready to pick you up when you stumble and fall?

WELL GOOD LUCK!.. SORRY!.. THAT'S NOT MY JOB!!!.......GED.....

DIRT BIKE RACES

A sport becoming ever more popular as tracks get better and equipment improves. You can witness, or for that matter"join in," these races at the dirt track in Marpi, on the northern tip of Saipan. Jumps, banked turns, whoopee-doos and flat-out straight- a-ways all add to the excitement and thrills. Throw in some mud, dust, and noise and you got a humdinger. I did mention" joining in" a few moments ago, now don't get me wrong this is NOT for just anybody who thinks they may wann'a go for a ride, no sireeee Bob. You gott'a be rough and tough, fearless, lean and mean, able to eat mud and dirt, crazy, insane, able to ride with eyes full of dirt, own a bike and a whole lott'a other things. Now if you are able to meet that criteria, go right ahead on, give'r hell, get your jig on, we'll be cheering for you on the sidelines........GED........

AMAZING FORMATIONS

Some amazing natural rock formations caught at just the right time and angle. Some times nature is its own artist producing things man could never reproduce. The pictures say it all. Enjoy them..........GED..........

A BIT O' WIT

These are for you to remember at cocktail parties....

What is a Yankee?..The same as a quickie, but a guy can do it alone.
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?..The position of the dirt bag.
Why is divorce so expensive?..Because it's worth it.
Why is air a lot like sex?..Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any.
What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?..45 lbs.
What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?..45 minutes.
What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?.. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.

Why do old men chase young women they don't intend to marry?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving. ........GED..........

BEWARE--OF YOUR BALLS

Sign posted on the door of a local golf club. Seems a little severe, dosen't it? But then you can never tell how serious some people are. These guys seem REAL serious. I think I would have second thoughts before I picked up a ball, I would make darn sure that I would, at least, have a golf club in my hand before doing so. Makes one wonder if they ever had to enforce this rule, it would be an unforgettable scene to witness, that is for sure.

(Click on picture)

ALWAYS CHECK BEFOFE PICKING UP A GOLF BALL IF YOU SEE THIS SIGN!....GED.....

ONLY A MOTHER KNOWS

I cannot get sick pay. I have six children can you tell me why?
I am glad to report that my husband who is missing is dead.
This is my eighth child. What are you going to do about it.
Please find out if my husband is dead. The man I am now living with can't do anything until he knows.

I am very much annoyed to find out that you have branded my son illiterate. This is a dirty lie as I was married a week before he was born.
In answer to your letter, I have given birth to a son weighing 10 lbs. I hope this is satisfactory.
I am forwarding my marriage certificate and my 3 children one of which is a mistake as you can see.
My husband got his project cut off about two weeks ago and I haven't had any relief since.
Unless I get my husband's money pretty soon, I will be forced to lead an immortal life.
You have changed my little boy to a girl, will this make any difference?
I have no children yet, as my husband is a truck driver and works night and day.

No, I did not make these up. These are legitimate but quite amusing.........GED........

WHAT DO YOU DO?

SOME OF MY READERS HAVE BEEN ASKING ME THIS QUESTION, SO I WILL TRY TO ANSWER IT.

I am a builder of championship golf courses, tri. par golf, practice golf facilities, miniature golf and skate parks. There it is, all in one simple sentence. But wait there is more to tell. I also own a small quiet, little hole-in -the-wall nightclub on Saipan called the Midnight Karaoke (see blog spot Midnight Karoke). For you in the CNMI, visit the Rota Resort to see some of my work. For others in the mainland and Hawaii see the job list to see my work. The following will be excerpts from my resume:

PROJECT NAME---LOCATION---ARCHITECT
The Hills of Lakeway- Austin, Texas- Jack Nicklaus......... Castle Pines- Castle Rock, Colo.- Jack Nicklaus .........Desert Highlands- Scottsdale, Arizona- Jack Nicklaus .............Sweetwater C.C.- Houston, Texas- Packard Inc. .............The Boulders- Carefree, Arizona- J. Morrish......... Arrowhead at Vail- Vail, Colorado- Jack Nicklaus..........La Paloma- Tuscon, Arizona- Jack Nicklaus..........St. Andrews G.C.- Hastings, New York- Jack Nicklaus............Barton Creek G.C.- Austin, Texas- Tom Fazio.......Ravaneaux C.C.- Houston, Texas- Kenneth Kavanaugh.........Mira Vista- Fort Worth, Texas- Tom Weiskopf**.............Hallbrook Farms- Leawood, Kansas- Tom Fazio..........Kiele/Westin G.C.- Lihue, Hawaii- Jack Nicklaus...........Waikoloa Beach G.C.- Kamuela, Hawaii- Tom Weiskopf**...........Ewa Beach International- Ewa Beach, Hawaii- Nelson/Wright.............Hyatt Regency- Hawaii Koloa, Hawaii- Robert Trent Jones Jr...............Makalei HiCountry Club- Kailua-Kona, Hawaii- Dick Nugent..............Waikele G.C.- Waipahu, Hawaii- Ted Robinson............Rota Resort and C.C.- Rota, CNMI- Scott Fisette

** with J. Morrish

ABOUT GED: GED in person is Glen Doutrich. He started working on golf courses in Sarasota, Florida in the early 70's. After a gratifying and challenging career thru the 80's and 90's succeeded to presently manage and operate GED ENTERPRISES as an Independent contractor. His work took him from the sandy soils of the southeast, thru the mud and clay of the mid- west, to limestone rocks in Texas, on mountain slopes of Colorado, to deserts in the southwest and on volcanic lava in Hawaii, accomplishing an outstanding track record of success stories.

Also, I just recently have added Skate Park construction to my repertoire, so if there is anything else, write to me and ask, I'll be willing to comply to all your needs.

THANK YOU............GED.........

INFAMOUS QUOTES

YOU SAID WHAT?????

"That race was all about competition." - David Coleman,

"Marling - unbeaten in her three victories"

"The effects are fleeting and lingering..." - Overheard in a hall.

"In Managua, people are cheering in the streets, which are deserted." - CBS reporter during the solar eclipse.

"A trucker called to thank all of the courteous Seattle drivers he had run across." - Announcer on KZOK radio.... Do you have any

infamous quotes to share? Post a comment. Thanks,.....GED......

The strategic plan, which is being implemented primarily by the Marianas Visitors Authority,
Part of the strategy is to position the CNMI as a “medium-priced destination” rather than “an expensive low-cost destination.”- from the Saipan Tribune.....added........GED........

THE GROTTO #1 DIVE SPOT

The Grotto the most famous dive site on Saipan.The top photo shows the above ground entrance to the famous grotto. After descending a flight of more than 100 steps made out of rocks you arrive at the dive pool entrance (second photo)where the divers actually enter the water. After jumping in the pool you can then swim through underwater tunnels (bottom photo) out to the open ocean. Not a feat for the feint of heart or someone unskilled. We have actually had an underwater wedding below the pool. Yep, nuptials underwater, I wonder how long that union will stay afloat? Lets hope everything was done above board..lol.....
Surround this area with an all natural setting, throw in some fantastic scenic views from above and you got it all.



( click photo)
View of the
pool entrance












Swimming through the
tunnel to the ocean.
........GED.......

COMPUTER IDIOTS

Are you kiddi'n me? Are these guys for real? Come on! Not really!

Compaq is considering changing the command "Press Any Key" to "Press Return Key" because of the many calls asking where the "Any" key is.
AST technical support had a caller complaining that her mouse was hard to control with the dust cover on. The cover turned out to be the plastic bag the mouse was packaged in.
Another Compaq technician received a call from a man complaining that the system wouldn't read word processing files from his old diskettes. After trouble-shooting for magnets and heat failed to diagnose the problem, it was found that the customer labeled the diskettes by rolling them into a typewriter to type on them.
Another AST customer was asked to send a copy of her defective diskettes. A few days later a letter arrived from the customer along with Xeroxed copies of the floppies.
A Dell technician advised his customer to put his troubled floppy back in the drive and close the door. The customer asked the tech to hold on, and was then heard putting the phone down, getting up and crossing the room to close the door to his room.
Another Dell customer called to say he couldn't get his computer to fax anything. After 40 minutes of trouble-shooting, the technician discovered the man was trying to fax a piece of paper by holding it in front of the monitor screen and hitting the "send" key....

Are you guilty of, or know of somebody else guilty of, doing something stupid with, or on, a computer?

Let me hear your story, just hit "comments" and tell us about your computer foul-up....GED....

FORBIDDEN ISLAND

I bring up the subject of Forbidden Island today after reading the morning paper. The news was sad news as four people have just lost their lives there yesterday. It seems, according to the morning news, that several people were hiking (yes, I said hiking) along the cliffs when a rogue wave hit them taking seven of them into the surf, three managed to get back to shore although bruised and battered, three were pronounced D.O.A. and one more is still missing. This brings me to the point...You can NEVER be to careful when it comes to the power of the ocean. It can look so tranquil and serene when all of a sudden it can take you in a flash. These were not the first to be taken by the sea. Others have suffered the same fate, many never to be recovered. So beautiful yet so deadly! I guess this explains why this little rock is named.....Forbidden Island.....GED.......




Location:
Southern tip
of Saipan

SOME NEVER MADE IT...........WWII

One has to wonder just what happened that day some 60 years ago in this tank that never made it onto the beach. It boggles my mind to look out in the ocean, while standing on shore all safe and secure, just thinking what kind of hell took place here. Trying to imagine what may have happened to the men commandeering this abandoned tank. One thing for sure is, I wouldn't be standing here if it weren't for them, that is for certain. There are many other war relics left here on this island for everyone to see and visit, but unless you see the many reminders still existing here you can't really appreciate what they did here. Sometimes I sit there and try to imagine being here when all this carnage was taking place...I can never see anything but what hell on earth may have been like, and I'm sure I don't even get it close... This spot is on the island of Saipan, the western beachhead where the U.S. forces invaded the Japanese strongholds which were dug in the mountains, hidden deep in bunkers and caves and spewing deadly fire across the beach.... Always remember the vets, and thank you guys for all you gave! If not for you we wouldn't even be here!.............GED..........

DUCK HUNTERS

Now I didn't post a picture with this little story, but I want you to make up but the pictures as you read. The images I got from this had me laughing out loud. Use your imagination to picture these scenes in your head,,well you take it from here.

A man buys a brand new Grand Cherokee for $30,000+, and has $400.00+ in monthly payments. He's pretty proud of this rig and gets ahold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride. They go duck hunting and of course all the lakes are frozen. These two Atomic Brains go to the lake with their guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drive out onto the ice. Now, they want to make some kind of a natural landing area to attract ducks - something the decoys will float on. Remember it's all ice, and in order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks - a hole big enough to entice ducks to land, they needed to use a little more than an ice hole drill... Sooo, out of the back of the brand-new Jeep Grand Cherokee comes a stick of dynamite with a short 40-second fuse. Now to their credit, these two rocket scientists DID take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they (and the new Grand Cherokee) would be waiting and ran back quickly, they would risk slipping on the ice as they ran from the imminent explosion and could possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. After a little deliberation, they come up with lighting and THROWING the dynamite, which is what they end up doing. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG???? Yes, the dog. The driver's pet Black Lab (used for retrieving - especially things thrown by the owner). You guessed it, the dog takes off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice, reaching the stick of dynamite with the burning 40-second fuse about the time it hits the ice - all to the woe of the two idiots which are now yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering what the hell to do now... The dog is happy and now heads back toward the "hunters" with the stick of dynamite. I think we all can picture the ever-increasing concern on the part of the brain trust, as the loyal Labrador Retriever approaches. The Bozos now are REALLY waving their arms - yelling even louder and generally feeling kinda panicked... Now finally one of the guys decides to think - something that neither had done before this moment, grabs a shotgun and shoots the dog. This sounds better than it really is, because the shotgun was loaded with #8 duck shot and hardly effective enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog DID stop for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on. Another shot, and this time the dog - still standing, became REALLY confused & of course scared...Thinking that these two Nobel Prize Winners have gone TOTALLY INSANE, the pooch takes off to find cover with a now extremely short fuse still burning on the stick of dynamite. The cover the dogs finds? Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee worth 30-some thousand dollars the $400.00+ monthly payment vehicle that is sitting nearby on the lake ice. BOOM! Dog dies, vehicle sinks to bottom of lake, and these two "Co-Leaders of the Known Universe" are left standing there with this "I can't EVEN believe this happened to me" look on their faces. Later, the owner of the vehicle calls his insurance company and is promptly informed that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT covered on his policy...He had yet to make his first car payment.

........GED.......

DIVING THE ISLANDS

Diving the islands gives one an unlimited array of exciting things to view. From sunken WWII wrecks to underwater caves, thousands of colorful sea creatures, it'll take your breath away (not a good thing underwater) LOL. All kidding aside it is simply gorgeous, there so many places and things to see, some divers never get their fill and keep coming back again and again. This is just something you gott'a see for yourself. So ..Welcome to the world under the sea........GED.......

ABOUT MICRONESIA

Micronesia, means "small islands" and is the collective name given to the two thousand, tiny, tropical islands, scattered over an area of more than three million square miles of the Pacific Ocean, between Hawaii and The Philippines. (Some islands are so small they do not appear on many world maps).
The eight, main island groups, that form Micronesia include: Guam, The Republic of Palau (Belau), The Marianas, Pohnpei, Yap, Truk (Chuuk), The Marshall Islands and Kosrae. Each island group has its own unique cultures, language, history and attractions

Well, here is where we are at, look for the Northern Mariana Islands. A good overview of the whole area. ........GED......

BASEBALL IS COMING

Meet J.R. Hattig, The very first major league player to come from The Marianas Islands. He presently plays for the Toronto Blue Jays. J.R.'s frequent visits back to the islands have inspired a lot of the youth here to realize they too can accomplish their dreams. An inspiration to everyone here for sure.

Keep up the good work J.R. and kudos for your unselfishness and your contributions to the kids. Best of luck in the 2007 season.

( J.R. is pictured center.).............GED............

TO MY FELLOW AMERICANS

WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.


Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom , Spain , Bulgaria , Australia , and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Natural disaster? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France , or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France , Germany , and Russia . Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 President Felipe Calderon and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.

We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America . Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher...... If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.
..........GED..........

CECILIO & KAPONO

A very talented singing duo from Hawaii, noted for their smooth tunes and great harmonies. Frequent visitors to the CNMI and Guam these guys are really entertaining. I first saw them in Hawaii and try to see them every time they come here. A good call for you to see, you won't be disappointed. Always a crowd pleaser.

Another good group to catch, if you get a chance is Kapana, noted for the song"Baby Blue" my favorite. These guys stay in Hawaii also but visit us occasionally too.

Super songs ...Super sounds...Super good...GED...

DON'T TRY THIS

A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER..... When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on a Seattle street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline and plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges, saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had......GED....

FOR THE FACE

Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

A closed mouth gathers no foot.

Never miss a good chance to shut up.

...GED...

FINANCIAL WORDS OF WIT

The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.

If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

....GED....

ZIPPY'S CHEVY

DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, or for that matter anywhere.
Top honors for "Human Projectile of the Month" go to an as-of-yet unidentified dude who is also a serious contender for the annual "Darwin Award". That prestigious prize is given posthumously to the person who does the human gene pool the greatest service by removing himself from it in the most extraordinarily stupid fashion. Troopers from the Arizona Highway Patrol got on to this gallant if not brainless form of ballistic research after motorists reported some mysterious scorched and blackened scars on a stretch of deserted highway. The more officers found, the stranger the case got. Here is what they "pieced" together: JATO units are basically huge canisters of solid rocket fuel used to achieve "Jet Assisted Take Off", typically lifting big transport planes into the air from short, rough ground runways, or shooting overloaded planes from the decks of aircraft carriers. They were not, repeat NOT, designed to augment the inherent boost factor of a 1967 Chevy Impala. But it is guessed that -- let's call him "Zippy" ---- didn't know that when he hooked one up to his ride. He apparently chose his runway carefully, selecting a nice long, lonely piece of straight highway in good repair. Not guessing that he might need a bit more than five miles of zoom surface, Zippy's test track had, that far down the track, a gentle rise on a sloping turn. He kicked the tire, lit the fire, ran his Chev up to top cruising speed, and hit the ignition. Investigators know exactly where this happened, judging from the extended patch of burned and melted asphalt. The pocket calculator boys figure Zip reached maximum thrust within 5 seconds, punching the Chevy to "well in excess of 350 miles per hour" and continued at "full burn" for another 20 to 25 seconds. Early in that little sprint, at roughly 2.5 miles down the road, the Human Hydro Shock stood on the brakes, melting them completely, blowing the tires and rapidly reducing all four skins to liquefied trails on the pavement. Remember that little rise on the turn? That's where Zippy concluded his land speed record attempt and went for airborne honors, ultimately reaching an altitude of 125 feet and still climbing when his flight was abruptly terminated. We'll never know how far or how high he might have gone. A cliff face of solid rock kind of got in his way, posing a serious reaffirmation of the law of physics vis-a-vis two chunks of matter cannot occupy the same space at the same time. He gave it hell though, blasting a 6-foot crater. The best modern forensic science could do was ID the car's make and model year. As for Zippy, only trace evidence of bone, teeth, and hair were found in the crater.

A REAL MENTAL GIANT, PASSING AHEAD OF HIS TIME. HE'LL ALWAYS BE REMBERED!

By the hole in the rock mountain............GED........

MILK CONTEST

It seems Carnation held a contest to find a slogan for their advertising campaign. A little old lady from a dairy farm in Pennsylvania, who worked all her life milking cows on the farm, won the contest with this slogan...... (click on picture to read it).....

Now have a very nice day.......GED

TEXAS CHILI

TEXAS CHILI
Frank, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the Budweiser truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, So I accepted.
Here are the scorecards from the event:
Chili # 1 Mike's Maniac Mobster Monster Chili
Judge # 1 A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild
Judge # 3 (Frank) Holy shit, what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the worst one. These Texans are crazy.
Chili # 2 Arthur's Afterburner Chili
Judge # 1 - Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken seriously.
Judge # 3 - Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.
Chili # 3 Fred's Famous Burn Down the Barn Chili
Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Needs more beans.
Judge # 2 -- A beanless chili, a bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I'm getting shit-faced from all of the beer.
>Chili # 4 Bubba's Black Magic
Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue, but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally, the barmaid, was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-lb. bitch is starting to look HOT - just like this nuclear waste I'm eating. Is chili an aphrodisiac?
Chili # 5 Linda's Legal Lip Remover
Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground, adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed the paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks.
Chili # 6 Vera's Very Vegetarian Variety
Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous, sulfuric flames. I shit myself when I farted and I'm worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that slut Sally. She must be kinkier than I thought. Can't feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone.
Chili # 7 Susan's Screaming Sensation Chili
Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava-like shit to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop breathing, it's too painful. Screw it, I'm not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach.
Chili #8 Tommy's Toe-Nail Curling Chili
Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balance chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge # 3 passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor dude, wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili.
Is there anything left to be said, do you need any explanation? I'll leave it for what it is, case closed............GED............

WHAT WILL YOU SEE?

Follow the directions at the bottom of the picture and see for yourself. you should be amazed...........GED.....

MAP of the MARIANAS ISLANDS

This should give you an over view of where I'm at and places I'm referring to. I hope this will be of some help to you guys not living here or near here.We are directly East of the Philippines in the Philippine sea. All the islands north of Saipan are mostly uninhabited except for a few local people living a "live off the land lifestyle"....... So there you go..and here we are......GED...

ROTA RESORT GOLF

Micronesia's Best Kept Secret. That is how the rota resort is billed. I have a certain pride in this resort on a personal basis as one of the the builders of the course, along with some darn good help, I may add. Scott Fisette, architect, Mike Hathcock, shaper, and Dan Alexander, as greens super. Awesome results, a championship golf resort, as good as they get. Don't miss this if you ever are on Rota and get an itch to hit a few fairways............. A jewel in the middle of the Pacific......GED......Click on picture...

TOILET TIME

Now here's a guy with a creative mind. But why would you want to be pictured like this? Guess it takes a load off his mind, could be better then wearing a diaper, you might say he's constantly on the go. Well I gott'a dig for some better material.... Next....time to move on.......GED.......

GLEN DOUTRICH

Well this is me in picture, its hard to take a photo in a dim room with only a web cam so this is the best I got, so its gotta do. My latest words of wit...If you want to get back on your feet.. you gotta get off your ass... Do you wanna know why I'm so smart? I got twenty years of school, yup, went thru 10th grade twice.......

Stay tuned for more glend558..... on a later date

SANTA MARGARITA

The Santa Margarita: A 1600's trading ship was shipwrecked just off the shores of Rota. The ship was discovered by the Iota organization.
They have been diving to the ship for the past 10 years. Pictured are some of the divers and some artifacts they recovered. The ship sailed from the Philippines, the Far East to and from Mexico. They are still looking for the mother lode of gold they think was on board. Good luck to Iota and all the divers.......... God Speed...........GED

HARD ROCK CAFE

This could be a small piece of Las Vegas, but its not. It is Garapan on the island of Saipan. The most popular place for clubs and nitelife. Garapan has a variety of places go and things to do. You may find anything you want there except casinos. The casinos are on the neighboring island of Tinian, a short plane ride or you can catch a ferry boat. Good food, music, dancing, shopping and funn'in are all available. Taxis are standing by for slammers who don't want to drive. This is very important for your health safety and police record. Have a good time ... but take care....AND ENJOY...... GED...

VOLCANIC SMOG = VOG

The island of Anatahan one in a chain of islands north of Saipan is a live volcano. It periodically erupts sometimes spewing steam and ash 50,000 feet into the air. This is then carried in any direction the wind chooses to blow. Trade winds normally blow from ENE to WSW sparing the island of Saipan most of the time. Occasionally the winds will shift and leave the island shrouded in VOG. This is not too serious but there are advisories for older people, children and asthmatic patients. The sunny day the sun didn't shine......... Shown is Garapan on Saipan during a vog day. GED

FIREFIGHTING

Saipan has one of the best firefighting facilities in the Pacific region. Firefighters come from long distances to practice here. Sure looks like things can get kinda hot and furious at this school. They do a damn good job training here. The kind of guys you would like to see if (knock on wood) you ever need them. Bravo! to the guys.... GED

COLD BEER...HOT AFTERNOON!

How do YOU feel after an afternoon of slamming drinks for a couple of hours? This fellow surely dont feel a thing...now...but tomorrow will be face hurting time. Don't try this at home...this was a professional stunt man.

XTERRA RUNNING AND CAVES

micronesia has some awesome caves on the islands. They were used in WWII by both the Japanese and locals to hide in. Combine some of these caves with an XTERRA run and and they are quite interesting. Here a runner exits one of the caves on the route to the finish line. This photo was taken on Saipan.

Glen D.

DRAGRACING

The biggest adrenaline rush in the world. Better than sex or drugs! You will never know what it is like unless you have tried it. Watching it on TV does NOT give you what it feels like. You can see the cars go down the track but you can't hear and feel it. The sounds, the smells, the vibrations and the G's, can't get it on TV.
Guam is the closest place to catch some good racing.
Try it you'll like it!

JET SKIING

Jet skiing is a blast, just crank 'er up and give it hell and you are off and flying. There is some dangers to the sport so a word to the wise, take care and keep your head together.

A popular sport on Saipan enjoyed by locals and tourists alike.

By: Glen Doutrich

SKATBOARDING

A few quarter pipes, a couple of grind rails, some benches, spines and wedges and you have a day of fun. Don't forget the safety equipment, elbows and knees can take a beating, not forgetting the all important helmet for the old noggin.
There's not to much involved in throwing a nice and challaging park together.
WE BUILD SKATE PARKS.....
Click on.. glendout@yahoo.com .. for more info..

BUDWEISER

Don't we all love a coupl'a Buds? Well this should get your attention! Thought it was quiet imaginative, don't you?
Always ready for a cold one, guess thats what you really call a
6- PAC
Beer of the CNMI.

D-8 CAT

This is the kind of toy I like to play with, the more the merrier. Give me a toy box full of these guys and I'm in 7th heaven. Like a kid in a candy store, yup!
Enter the next golf project---can't wait
GED

PETE A.'s REPLY

To: Mr. Glen Doutrich

I am sorry that you are unhappy with my most recent position regarding the issue of minimum wage for the CNMI with respect to implementation pursuant to U.S. Public Law 110-28. I am very much aware of your support of the job I am doing here in our nation's capital as the CNMI Resident Representative, and believe me I do appreciate and value your support.
With regards to the minimum wage debate, I am not under any illusion that whatever position I take will satisfy all of our people as the issue is complex because of so many competing interests and diverse views on it. I have tried to provide a balance to my position, even under tremendous adversity generated by elected officials like our governor whose passion is to ignore reality and fairness, and the governor and delegate of American Samoa who have powerful members of Congress supporting their position for a permanent recindment of the U.S. minimum wage for their territory.
By the way, our own governor favors their position as well. Never mind the subjective study of DOL that was inconclusive, which they tried to use as their basis for a permanent exclusion from the federal law, and never mind the fact that people are suffering under a repressive wage system. American Samoa's economic situation is unlike the CNMI's, so a common policy is not realistic. You probably have not read the complete text of my written testimony which I submitted to the Committee, so I am providing you a copy for you to objectively judge whether in fact I have "flip-flop" on my position on the issue.
Yes, I have been reading your blog regularly too, and I noted in many of your quotes of various interesting issues that you quote a lot from our local newspapers, and I am assuming that for your blog you relied on the Variety's Friday's Feb. 29 edition in which the article entitled "Tenorio asks feds to cap NMI wage rate at $4.05 for 2 years," written by Gemma Q. Casas appeared. In that one line statement on paragraph #9, I was quoted without quotation marks, unlike other comments in the article which were enclosed in quotation marks, to have said, "but he said the CNMI still has time to prevent the third and succeeding rate increases." I never said this in my oral testimony, nor is it in my written statement, nor was it my position. But maybe Variety was making the inference that because I recommended a two year period of no wage increase, they interpret my recommendation to mean that I am in favor of a wage freeze for two years.
A wage freeze will only happen if Congress agrees with the CNMI and American Samoan governments' positions, and then enacts legislation amending U.S. Public Law 110-28, on or before May 24, this year. Should a wage delay be enacted, my position is to include a language that will retain the May scheduled increase under the law. My proposal, if accepted will at least provide a safety net for an additional 50 cents, not much, but better than nothing at all. The two years for a comprehensive study was recommended by DOL as a representative period upon which a meaningful economic impact study could be developed which could then be used as a basis for an increase or a delay in the minimum wage implementation.
I am purposely being repetitious here, but I believe that if Congress agrees with our governor and the AmSamoan officials for a freeze in the wage increase in May, that there will be a mandate for DOL to do a complete study that will last at least two years. Again, in my statement written or oral, I did not support the delay for the May increase, in fact I support the increase but to cap it at $4.05 per hour and to await the finalization of the longer-term DOL study. Our governor and American Samoa(see their testimonies) said everything they could say about the damage and destruction of their respective territorial economies and the business sector, as valid reasons for a delay and eventually a permanent freeze. In a hearing room full of proponents for a freeze of the automatic increase, it is tough to differ, even professionally, when you are all alone, but that environment did not deter nor intimidate me to challenge their position. Its the best that I can do at this hearing, but will continue to seek meaningful and beneficial solutions to this very divisive issue confronting our Commonwealth.
Thank you for your insightful comments on issues confronting our people. You are making many people worry about their obligations as elected officials, but at the same time, you are definitely putting them in line to be more diligent, responsive and compassionate with the serious issues that require our objective and total engagement in order to find answers.
Pete A. Tenorio

COOL CAR CHECK

VIEW TEST RESULTS HERE

If your tester shows the same results as our tester shows here, your car is cool!

HOUSE INFORMATION

THE LATEST
Tue, 12 Feb 2008 13:02:37 +1000 Subject:
Thoughts on yesterday's session, and announcements:
Good afternoon everyone,
The agenda for yesterday's House session was amended once again on the floor. Bills, initiatives, resolutions, and communications that were introduced on the floor that had not been prefiled and noted in the agenda I had sent out via email just before the session (February 11, 2008) include:
HOUSE BILLSHouse Bill 16-23: To appropriate $2,158,129.51 for the payment of claims incurred prior to privatization of the CNMI Government Group Health and Life Insurance Trust Fund, and for other purposes (Reps. Yumul, Tebuteb, Camacho, Quitugua, Santos, etc.) – ADOPTED House Bill 16-24: To implement Article XI, Section 6 Reporting by the Board of Marianas Public Land Trust, by requiring a certified annual report under penalty of perjury to the presiding officers of the legislature and the governor on all information required to be reported under Section 6, including but not limited to interest accrued on trust proceeds that is transferred to the general fund (Rep. Hocog) House Bill 16-25: To require the advice and consent of the Senate for appointees to the Medical Professional Licensing Board (Rep. Hocog) House Bill 16-26: To amend 3 CMC Section 1311 to change the general qualifications of future members of NMC's Board of REgents; to amend 3 CMC Section 1316 to provide for improved financial oversight of NMC; and for other purposes (Rep. Stanley Torres) HOUSE LEGISLATIVE INITIATIVES· House Legislative Initiative 16-3: To amend Sections 3, 4, 5, and 6 of Article XI of the Constitution of the NMI, to update the Constitution to reflect the dissolution of the Marianas Public Land Corporation and the creation of the Dept. of Public Lands (Rep. Hofschneider); and to establish a DPL Operations Fund, to be maintained by the Department of Finance, to be used to cover DPL's reasonable expenses, and to reserve at least $2 million for appropriation each fiscal year for the payment of debt service (Rep. Hofschneider)
· House Legislative Initiative 16-4: To amend Article XII, Section 3 of the Constitution of the NMI in order to change the term permitted for transfer of a leasehold interest in private lands to up to 75 years. (Rep. Hofschneider)
· House Legislative Initiative 16-5: To amend Section 4 of Article X of the Constitution of the NMI to authorize public indebtedness for operating expenses of the Commonwealth government (Rep. Hofschneider)
LOCAL BILLS· House Local Bill 16-3: To reappropriate section 2(a) of Saipan Local Law 14-31 and section 2(f) of Saipan Local Law 15-12, to fund the completion of various ongoing road paving and drainage improvement projects and other public facilities improvements in election district 4 (Rep. Quitugua).
· House Local Bill 16-4: To appropriate $98,000 from the local license fees for pachinko slot machines and poker machines in the 2nd Senatorial District to fund the Tinian Municipal Scholarship Program (Rep. Aldan)
HOUSE RESOLUTIONSHouse Resolution 16-6: To move Rep. Rosemond Santos' parking spot to enlarge the accessible parking area (Rep. Stanley Torres)House Resolution 16-7: To congratulate the Rotary Club of Saipan on its 40th anniversary (Rep. Ed Salas) HOUSE COMMUNICATIONS
House Communications 16-15, 16-16, & 16-17: Privileged speeches of Rep. Stanley Torres, questioning the activities of the NMC President and the DPS Commissioner; calling on the Governor to remove the Attorney General; and expressing concern about the status of the Legislative Bureau's reorganization. The House voted to suspend the rules and passed House Bill 16-23 on first and final reading. The House also passed all the resolutions except for HR 16-6 (the parking area resolution). I objected several times yesterday to the efforts to fast-track both the bill and the resolutions.
With respect to the HB 16-23, which proposed to appropriate over two million dollars to address unpaid insurance claims (and thereby avoid the termination of insurance coverage for government employees), I objected to the motion to place the bill on the calendar to adopt that day on the grounds that I (and probably other legislators) had not even had a chance to read the bill beforehand, and I wanted more information. That slowed down the process somewhat, but not much. We went into recess during the discussion of HB 16-23, and documents from the Retirement Fund were provided attesting to the facts stated in the bill as well as the urgency of addressing the unpaid claims. When the session resumed Ways and Means chair Rep. Ray Yumul confirmed that the source of funds for the appropriation would be MPLT interest payments into the General Fund that had been identified and reported to the Legislature on January 28, 2008.
I objected also to the adoption of resolutions that none of us had had a chance to read. The motion to adopt carried, however, and one resolution was even adopted while I was still reading it. The parking lot resolution was withdrawn at the request of several legislators, including myself, for lack of information about its necessity (i.e., we didn't know for a fact whether or not the Legislature's parking lot was actually not in compliance with accessibility requirements).
I ultimately ended up voting yes on the appropriations bill, and endorsed the resolutions to commend the Rotary Club, two local teachers, etc. But the more important point that I wish to raise is that I am convinced more than ever that the way in which we conduct business in the Legislature is in serious need of reform, and that we do a grave disservice to our constitutents when we fail to exercise due diligence in properly prioritizing, drafting, reviewing, discussing, and adopting legislative action. Obviously I cannot realize these reforms all by myself -- the effort to improve transparency and set priorities in the Legislature will need the sincere commitment of all my colleagues, as well as support from the citizens of this Commonwealth. I will expand on these thoughts in a separate letter.
In other newsMy weekly press conference will be held this Wednesday at 10am in my office. I'd like to share some thoughts on the budget process, provide updates on CUC and the need for a strategic plan, discuss the policies governing the Legislative Bureau, and discuss in more detail some observations of the way business is conducted in the Legislature, and suggestions for improvement. All legislators are invited to attend.The Health, Education, and Welfare Committee has announced that it is meeting on Wednesday, February 13 at 2pm in the House chamber to discuss NMC accreditation issues; and again on Friday, February 15 at 9:30am to discuss CHC. The chair of the committee is Rep. Ralph Torres. His office may be reached at 664-8903 for more information.The telephone numbers and email addresses of all our legislators are attached in this email.Thanks very much, and please feel free to contact me for questions, comments, or advice.
Tina Sablan
House of Representatives16th CNMI Legislature
PO Box 500586Saipan, MP 96950
Tel: (670) 664-8931
Cel: (670) 483-3935
Email: tinasablan@gmail.com