399- MORE TOILET TIME

BAFFLED, SIMPLY BLOWN AWAY

WHERE DOES THIS EVEN TAKE PLACE? Trivial dribble of nonsense, man. Don't these people have anything more important to do? This is utter stupidity at it's worst, give me a friggin' break. I swore I would stop picking on idiot government sorry sorts but this takes the cake. Morons indeed! Just read this bit of babble, I'm choked, gagged and puking..... Monday, July 16, 2007: Lawmakers want alcohol tastings controlled....Even alcohol tastings will be covered by law if a bill is enacted. House Bill 15-271, passed by the House of Representatives, proposes to apply the Alcoholic Beverage Control Act to wine, beer, or other alcoholic beverage sampling. The bill seeks to establish controlled procedures that must be followed when alcohol is offered for free tasting. It also proposes annual sampling fees to be charged manufacturers, bars, and restaurants selling or serving alcohol. Rep. Stanley T. McGinnis Torres introduced the bill. Reps. Ramon A. Tebuteb, Joseph P. Deleon Guerrero, Arnold I. Palacios, and Candido B. Taman are co-sponsors. (It took five brains to do this?) The bill will become law once approved by the Senate and signed by the governor. Under the bill, businesses cannot offer samples from more than four products at a time. Neither can they display and open more than one bottle of each of the four products to be sampled. In addition, each sample should not be more than two ounces for each product. The legal drinking age of 21 will apply to alcohol tasting. People under 21 are not allowed to consume samples, participate in the activity, or loiter in the premises where the sampling is being held. Manufacturers and wholesale agents will be charged an annual $50 fee for sampling activities. Retail dealers such as bars and restaurants will pay $15. In addition to the sampling provisions, the bill proposes other amendments to the Alcohol Beverage Control Act. For instance, minors will be prohibited not just from sitting at a bar, but from being near a bar as well. Another proposed amendment will ease the ban on stacking drinks by allowing for the bucket sale of alcohol beverage. The bill instructs the Department of Commerce to promulgate implementing regulations within 60 days after the bill is enacted...... I want to take a moment to explain the choice of this title. Whenever an architect did some good work planning the work we were to construct, we would kid him as having spent a lot of time on the toilet, where all good concepts, ideas and thoughts seem to be derived from, you know the place for all good thinking, uninterrupted, a place to dream...... Now, excuse me while I throw up. ......GED.....

398- CHILI AND BEER

THIS IS A GRIN FOR SURE
He's gotta be wearing a JATO unit.
(JATO units are basically huge canisters of solid rocket fuel used to achieve "Jet Assisted Take Off", typically lifting big transport planes into the air from short, rough ground runways, or shooting overloaded planes from the decks of aircraft carriers.) Maybe this guy is assisting in take-off. Or is some kind of a booster rocket. Although they are usually on the OUTSIDE of the plane. A disaster indeed, what can I say. Don't strike that match or there will be hell to pay.
(click on pic. to read caption.)
.....GED......

397- ALLOW LAND SALES

I HAVE BEEN THERE, SEEN IT, DONE IT, I KNOW IT

“It doesn't make sense.” This is what former CNMI Supreme Court chief justice Jose Dela Cruz said of the current government's policy on land lease for private properties as well as landownership in the CNMI.

I was in Hawaii in the 80's when the land and development boom was going full tilt. I was building Golf Developments for Investors.

The locals cried, "they're taking all our land.' I will tell you something that's very important to you people here, listen to me!

THEY COULDN'T TAKE IT HOME WITH THEM. IT STAYED THERE, IT'S STILL THERE. It will always be there. The investors left Hawaii, and do you know what, they left the land there, amazing isn't it. Left the land there and their money too. What are you afraid of, that someone will buy your beach and go to Korea, taking it with them? Won't happen, never did, never will. I know! Selling and buying properties will be the economy this place needs. But you can remain uninformed, and not listen to me, so it goes. If you wanna get your shit together, allow land sales. This is the only time I'm going to say this. This is the best piece of advice you will ever get for free. Go ahead, ask me! I'm finished now. Think abouttit. .....GED..... See post #381

396- A BOYS DREAM

I SURE WISH I COULD SEE WHAT HE'S LOOKING AT !
Oh! The dreams of a little lad, kind'a makes one want to regress a bit, but I'll tell you the truth, I can't remember that time in my life. Can you? Well, we'll always remember when life was simple, the cotton was tall, things were easy, and boobs were dinner. Grampa, take me back to the good 'ole days. (The Judds) .....GED.......

395- PLEASE, CLEAN UP

IS IT MY TURN TO CLEAN UP ? I'LL DO IT THIS TIME

PLEASE CLEAN-UP BEFORE YOU LEAVE. I HAVE CHIDED YOU FOR LEAVING YOUR TRASH BEHIND BEFORE, (SEE POST # 341) AND I'LL SAY IT AGAIN...Take your trash home or put it in the trash can. I just love this one, please don't leave your trash lying around when you leave and go home. Please, always take it with you or put it in the trash can. (click pic.)......GED.......

394- WHAT HAS CHANGED

A WINDOW BACK IN TIME, QUIET INTERESTING, AT BEST AND THESE GUY'S ARE IN CHARGE NOW, AND IT'S EVEN WORSE

Opinion Friday, August 25, 2000
More risky government schemes
By Charles P. Reyes Jr.
The CNMI government is in great financial distress. (Still is.) It cannot afford to pay its CUC utility bills on time. (Doesn't pay them at all now. Weaseled out of that one.) It owes Straub Hawaii and other medical facilities as much as $4 million. (Still unpaid) It owes the CNMI Retirement Fund as much as $30 million. (Now its $130 million.) It is hopelessly incapable of promptly paying CNMI tax rebates. (7 years later and under the Fitial administration, pays zilch, ever.) It takes forever to pay off its private contractors. (Still waiting.) It is tens (Hundreds.) of millions of dollars in debt--deep in the red--and it runs a budget deficit each and every year. (Still the same. Years later.) Yet, despite the overwhelming evidence of government financial decay, (Worse now then ever.) Democratic Representative Brigida Ichihara, a self-styled education czar and ardent Jesse Borja-for-governor supporter, apparently wishes to plunge the CNMI government and its beleaguered taxpayers further into financial ruin. (Apparently you didn't even need her and all her foolery to crash the financial budget, you did a damn good job all by yourselves.) Merely observe her moves to drastically raise the Public School System's take of the CNMI budget from fifteen to twenty-five percent. (Wow, she really wants the whole enchilada, don't she?) In light of the CNMI government's serious and persistent financial problems, how much more unreasonable can an elected representative get? (Have you seen just what the hell we have today?)
Indeed, it is quite obvious that, unlike House Speaker Ben Fitial, who has very wisely expressed some grave concerns on the matter, (You would think we could use this very astute and wise man today,) Rep. Ichihara and her PSS ilk have no appreciation of fundamental financial solvency. Unlike Speaker Fitial, a well seasoned and highly successful businessman, (A what? Where the hell is this genius when we so desperately need someone smart today?) these hard-core education diehards apparently know next to nothing about basic economics. (We are still in the same boat only its now going under, faster.) They have obviously never run businesses or met private payrolls. Oddly, for all of their higher "education"--and keep in mind that Rep. Ichihara was a former school principal--they cannot even come to grips with basic, elementary mathematics. (CNMI educated, at it's best, Charlie, seems to be the way you want to keep it too.) After all, it does not take an economist the caliber of Mr. Ed Stephens Jr. (Pat your back, Ed. Maybe you should look at the books for the present administration today. Tell 'um whats wrong?) to figure out that the CNMI simply cannot afford an extravagant PSS budget hike at this time--nor at any point in the near future. (Or any future, as seen today.) Due to wholesale mismanagement, the local government is practically broke. (Those were the good 'ole days, only practically broke, but not down the toilet, like it is today.)
But our socialist public education zealots don't care for objective economic realities (or analysis). They want to tug our heartstrings with emotional education pleas. "It's for the children, for our children's future," etc. (Now, where did we last hear this crock, who was the last to spew this shit?) They want to advance feel-good politics at the expense of the cold, hard facts, (Do you mean something like, "I'll lower the power rates," bullshit from the last election, kind'a the same?) which they would much rather conveniently ignore at the CNMI's own peril. (Is it different today? If so what?)
Where are we going to get the money to pay for Rep. Ichihara's risky PSS scheme? Where are we going to get the money to satisfy the deeply entrenched, very special interest groups at the Public School System? (Guess time has proved there ain't any money, wasn't then, still isn't now.) Are we to raid the CNMI Retirement Fund (and its retirees) (Wow, a grand idea, who may have been the creator of this wonderful thought? They didn't raid it, they destroyed it.) to add to the insatiable PSS empire? Is the money going to come from the medical program? Are we going to let Tun Juan die, just so that the PSS establishment can "educate" little Johnny? Just say no to PSS. Strange how looking back on someones own bitter times can so directly come to the top and slap ones own face, quiet interesting, isn't it? An even stranger take on the PSS, indeed. Seems "Little Johnny" is still uneducated, Hummm. .........GED.........

393- MORE COPPER WIRE

WHEN WILL THEY EVER LEARN

More lights and copper wires are being installed along a new length of pathway that probably will never get used before the copper wires get stolen. A useless piece of pathway and a more useless need for lights. Now, it seems we have an existing pathway without lights due to copper wire thefts, so why the hell are we installing more wires and lights in another unneeded place? Why not fix the ones we use first? Makes no sense at all. Maybe just put the rolls of wire out on the ground and save the trouble for both the contractor and the thieves. Who is the genius who thought of this bonehead idea, a person who should be promoted to idiot of the year? Now I don't know what you think about this, but I think it's plain ignorant, a fine example of incompetence at work. Oh, what the hell, shit here never makes sense anyway, so go ahead string 'um up, be sure to take pictures before they're gone. Never learn, never listen, still the same. You are the light unto my feet, a guide upon my pathway. Now get lost and screw up somewhere else! .....GED........

392- OOP'S

DON'T EVER MAKE THIS MISTAKE

A man staggered into a hospital with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes, and a five-iron wrapped tightly around his throat. Naturally, the Doctor asked him, "What happened to you?" Well, I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a cow pasture. We went to look for them and while I was looking around, I noticed one of the cows had something white in its rear end." I walked over, lifted its tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife's monogram on it - stuck right in the middle of the cow's butt." "Still holding the cow's tail up, I yelled to my wife, "Hey, this looks like yours!" I don't remember much after that..." Need I say anything more? ........GED.........

391- PRICELESS

DON'T WE JUST LOVE THIS?... IDIOTS, ALL OF 'UM

They should all burn in hell! God will get you sooner or later!

(click on pic. to zoom in.) ..........GED........

390- REFRESH BUTTON

HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU USED THIS BUTTON IN THE LAST FEW WEEKS?
It seems to me that my computer thrives on being refreshed, as every time I try to (down/up) load something, I gotta hit the refresh button, how's yours doing? Maybe our friend PTI Brad can help us. I think another week is on the books... I once did a job where my boss said that I would be there two weeks, at the end of two weeks he told me to stay two weeks more. Four weeks later I was told to stay two more weeks, that went on for six months. I surely hope this is not PTI's plan, as my refresh button seems to be growing bigger and bigger each day reaching out to seduce me to click it again and again. It seems to be growing on me, like a seductive woman always wanting more and more attention. O.K. that will be all about the demanding, always needed little button. Now have a refreshful day. .....GED........

389r- BEWARE: OF YOUR BALLS

WARNING: YOU COULD LOSE YOUR BALLS

Sign posted on the door of a local golf club. Seems a little severe, doesn't it? But then you can never tell how serious some people are. These guys seem REAL serious. I think I would have second thoughts before I picked up a ball, I would make darn sure that I would, at least, have a golf club in my hand before doing so. Makes one wonder if they ever had to enforce this rule, it would be an unforgettable scene to witness, that is for sure.
(Click on picture)
ALWAYS CHECK BEFORE PICKING UP A GOLF BALL IF YOU SEE THIS SIGN!....GED.....

388r- MILK SLOGAN

IT COULDN'T BE SAID ANY BETTER

It seems Carnation held a contest to find a slogan for their advertising campaign. A little old lady from a dairy farm in Pennsylvania, who worked all her life milking cows on the farm, won the contest with this slogan......

(click on pic. to read)
Now have a very nice day.......GED

387r- JACK SCHITT

FROM BRIER PATCH , WEST VIRGINIA. Did anyone ever tell you that you don't know Jack Schitt? Well I want to introduce him to you so you never have to be in that embarrassing situation of not knowing Jack Schitt ever again. Shown here to your immediate left (the man in the picture) is Jack Schitt, right next to him, to his right, is his lovely wife of 57 years, Ima Schitt. Now, this loving, enduring, and till death do us part, relationship produced two handsome sons. They were named.. ( from left to right) as Giva Schitt and Scream'in Schitt. Oh! and the pig was fondly named Peace'a Schitt. Get it? for peace and love, no war and all that crap. Now it seems the two sons found a couple of gals, yup, some real hot to trotters they were, Giva, well he hooked up with a sweetie named Godda and became known as the Godda, Giva Schitt family, while good ol'e Scream'in ran off and eloped with a little lass named, yes, you guessed it, Miss Bluea and they became known from near and far as the Bluea, Scream'in Schitt family. After awhile Giva and Godda produced an offspring, a son, who they fondly named Fly'in and therefore became the Godda, Giva, Fly'in Schitt clan. On the other hand, Scream'in and Bluea got together and created a beautiful little girl and they proudly named her Roni. O.K, I know you got it already, theeee, Bluea, Scream'in, Roni Schitt clan. Now I could go on for two more generations of Schitts but I think its best to give it up now. SO if any, and I mean ANYONE ever tells you that you don't know Jack Schitt, you tell 'um you not only know Jack Schitt, but you also know his whole dang family too.........GED..........

386- DREAMLINER - 787

BOEING, SHRINKING THE WORLD
A brand new more modern, faster, bigger, lighter, economical, cleaner, and more impressive way to go.... Some facts from the news......EVERETT, Washington (AP) -- Boeing Co. raised the curtain on its first fully assembled 787 on Sunday to an audience of thousands who packed into its wide-body assembly plant for the plane's extravagantly orchestrated premiere. Boeing Chief Executive Jim McNerney said the 787 will bring about a "dramatic improvement in air travel: to make it more affordable, comfortable and convenient for passengers, more efficient and profitable for airlines, and more environmentally progressive for our earth." Boeing has won more than 600 orders from customers eager to hold the jet maker to its promise that the mid-size, long-haul jet will burn less fuel, be cheaper to maintain and offer more passenger comforts than comparable planes flying today. The 787 that debuted Sunday will serve as the first of six flight-test airplanes, while two other planes will be used for static and fatigue tests. The ninth plane off the assembly line will be the first one delivered to All Nippon. The 787-8, the first of three 787 models Boeing has committed to making, has an average list price of $162 million, though customers typically negotiate discounts on bulk orders. ....What a way to go, I can't imagine what might happen 50 or 100 years from now, mind boggling indeed! Can't wait to ride in one. .......GED..... P.S. To Jeff T.: Now they should start work on doing some improvments in the airports, maybe.

385- THE GOLDEN YEARS

SOME THOUGHTS.. AGING CLUES.. AND PONDERISMS

THOUGHTS for the week: Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctr Alt Delete' and start all over?.. If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called labor!.. Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever... But Most Of All, Remember ... A Good Friend Is Like A Good Bra: Hard to Find, Supportive, Comfortable, Up-lifting And Always Close To Your Heart!

YOU KNOW YOU'RE OLD WHEN:

1. Going bra-less pulls all the wrinkles out of your face.

2. You don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along to find the way home.

3. Getting a little action means you don't need fiber today.

4. Getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

5. An all-nighter means not getting up to use the bathroom!

PONDERISM: I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes... In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal... How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?.. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things there and drink whatever comes out?".. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.".. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup? ..Keep your face from wrinkling and smile.

.......GED.......

384- NEW 7 WONDERS

THE NEWLY CHOSEN SEVEN WONDERS OF THE WORLD
The Great Wall of China, Mexico's Chichen Itza pyramid, India's Taj Mahal, Rome's Colosseum, Brazil's Statue of Christ the Redeemer, Peru's Machu Picchu, and Jordan's Petra. The photos are shown in in this order from top to bottom. Move cursor to identify pictures. (click pic to zoom in)

..........GED........

383- WANTED 1 ACRE

MINIAURE GOLF DEVELOPMEN PACKAGE AND PLANS.

DO YOU HAVE APPROX. 1 ACRE OF ROAD FRONTAGE PROPERTY, OR PROPERTY EASILY ACCESSIBLE?
Then you could develop a Miniature Golf Course, operate it as a family project (if so desired) and make a tidy bit of income without much effort. If you are interested in this development, I'll be glad to show you how it works.
Miniature golf provides a fun and entertaining activity for everyone, parents, kids, young, older, male, female, dummies,
smarties, (lol) well everyone as you can see........

INCOME PROJECTIONS: Most miniature courses take forty-five minutes to one hour to play one round. An eighteen hole course can accommodate eighty to one hundred rounds per hour. With a fee of $6.00 per round projected income can peak at $480.00 to $600.00 per hour. For projection purposes we will use ninety rounds per hour for 10 hours as a basis for proposed.

MORE INCOME PROJECTIONS:

COURSE TO BE OPEN FROM 10:00 AM TILL 10:00 PM.

Total capacity 900 rounds per day: at $6.00 per round.
% of capacity and # of rounds. (First column)
Income: ...........Daily..........Weekly... .....Monthly .......Yearly
50% 450---$2,700.00 $18,900.00 $81,000.00 $972,000.00
30% 270---$1,620.00 $11,340.00 $48,600.00. $583,200.00
20% 180---$1,080.00 $7,560.00. $32,400.00. $388,800.00
10% 90-----$540.00... $3,780.00. $16,200.00.. $194,400.00
5% 45------$270.00.... $1,890.00. $8,100.00.... $97,200.00
Best of all, miniature golf has virtually no inventory and very low expenses. You can operate the course with one or two low cost employees to hand out putters, balls, scorecards and take care of the clean-up chores. Except for score cards nothing is consumed in the miniature golf business.

OUR FIVE BASIC PLANS
1----The CHAMPIONSHIP ........ Est. price- $170,000.00
2----The SUPER PRO COURSE... Est. price- $140,000.00
3----The PRO COURSE .............. Est. price- $130,000.00
4----The PAR PLUS ...................Est. price- $100,000.00
5----The REGULATION............. Est. price- $80,000.00
Contact: glendout@yahoo.com ......GED........

382- A FAMILY PORTRAIT

A LOVELY PHOTO-OP FOR SURE
Do you think you can pick out aunt Nelly from aunt Lizzie, or your mom from your oldest sister? Maybe uncle Earl slipped in there and who would know the difference? We should give them name tags to hold up so we can tell who is who. This ones a saver to remember the family this holiday. Lets put it on everyone's card and see if anyone knows who it is. Remember this family reunion always. ......GED.....

381- A SHOT IN THE FOOT

TO THE VOTERS WHO PUT US IN POWER, WE ARE IT, THE ONES, YUP, WE KNOW WHATS BEST FOR YOU, WE DON'T NEED YOUR VOTES OR OPINIONS ANYMORE, WE RULE! Why should you simpletons make decisions, like voting on something we can decide for you, Don't you know we are the smartest ones, that we know best. Hell you don't need to be bothered to vote on what you think is best, we've already decieded for you. Now go home and shut-up. Get lost. The H.o.R.

The governor and business officials expressed disappointment yesterday over the defeat of the land lease initiatives in the House of Representatives. The initiatives proposed longer lease terms for public and private lands in the Commonwealth. Had the initiatives passed the Legislature, they would have been placed on the ballot for ratification in the Nov. 3 election. “I am very disappointed that the indigenous people have been denied the right to decide how best to use their own land,” said Gov. Benigno R. Fitial. “At a critical time in our economic development, with our revenues and budget falling, we looked at these initiatives as a major way to stimulate investment and provide relief to the people. It's a big setback. A similar initiative to extend private land leases passed in the Senate last year. Read the whole story at: Saipan Tribune . Guess they know what is good for us, we voted them into power, now didn't we? I'm sure they don't want us to vote on it, since they already know what's good for all of us without our votes. My reaction...Frigging idiots... .....GED....

380- GOD AND VIETNAM

LEST WE FORGET..GOD HASN'T FORGOT, I HAVEN'T FORGOT, HOW ABOUT YOU?

THE LORD AND VIETNAM VETERANS: When the Lord was creating Vietnam Veterans. He was into his 6th day of overtime when an angel appeared. "You're certainly doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said. "Have you seen the specs on this order? "A Nam vet has to be able to run 5 miles through the brush with a full pack on, endure with barely any sleep for days, enter tunnels his higher ups wouldn't consider doing, and keep his weapons clean and operable. He has to be able to sit in his hole all night durning an attack, hold his buddies as they die, walk point in unfamiliar territory known to be VC infested, and somehow keep his senses alert for danger. He has to be in top physical condition existing on c-rats and very little rest. And he has to have 6 pairs of hands. The angel shook his head slowly and said. "6 pair of hands ... no way. "The Lord say's "It's not the hands that are causing me problem... It's the 3 pair of eyes a Nam vet has to have." "That's on the standard model?" asked the angel. The Lord nodded. "One pair that sees through elephant grass, another pair here in the side of his head for his buddies, another pair here in front that can look reassuringly at his bleeding, fellow Trooper an say, "You'll make it" ...... when he knows he won't. "Lord rest, and work on this tomorrow." "I can't," said the Lord. "I already have a model that can carry a wounded Trooper 1,000 yards during a firefight, calm the fears of the latest FNG, and feed a family of 4 on a grunt's paycheck. "The angel walked around the model and said, "Can it think?" "You bet," said the Lord. "It can quote much of the UCMJ, recite all his general orders, and engage in a search and destroy mission in less time than it takes for his fellow Americans back home to discuss the morality of the War, and still keep his sense of humor." "This Nam vet also has phenomenal personal control. He can deal with ambushes from hell, comfort a fallen Nam vets family, and then read in his hometown newspaper how Nam vets are baby killers, psychos, addicts, killers of innocent civilians. "The Lord gazed in the future and said, "He will also endure being vilified and spit on when he returns home, rejected and crucified by the very ones he fought for. "Finally, the angel slowly ran his finger across the vet's cheek, and said. "There's a leak....I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model.""That's not a leak", said the Lord. "That's a tear.""What's the tear for?" ask the angel. It's for bottled up emotions, for holding fallen soldiers as they die, for commitment to that funny piece of cloth called the American flag, for the terror of living with PTSD for decades after the war, alone with it's demons with no one to care or help." "You're a genius," said the angel, casting a gaze at the tear. The Lord looked very somber, as if seeing down eternity's distant shores. "I didn't put it there," he said.....God bless Vietnam Veterans....
Author unknown.........
Think about it! ......GED......

379- A ZORSE OF COURSE

A ZEBRA, A HORSE, A DONKEY,

Zebra Hybrids. Have you ever heard the term ZEDONK, ZONKY, ZEBRASS or ZORSE? ZEBROID or ZONY?

Well you can mix and match anyway you want, and you can get a number of different concoctions or hybrids. The top picture is a Zorse, the bottom one is a Zedonk. Some interesting information about these animals.... From Wikipedia:, the free encyclopedia: A zorse is the offspring from the breeding of a zebra stallion and a horse mare. They are often called a zebroid: this term refers to any hybrid equine with zebra genetics. The zorse looks more like a horse than a zebra, but has bold leg striping and, often times will have, stripes on the body or neck.
Zebras, donkeys, and horses are all members of the family equus - Equines. They all have slightly different in genetic makeup, but are still equines. Equines can be crossbred with one another to produce hybrids. The cross between a Zebra Stallion and a Horse Mare is called a Zorse. Zorses can be male or female, but will be sterile because their chromosome number is 63. The zorse looks a bit like a horse, but is more like a mule since it is an interspecies breed. The zorse has the coloration of dark strips overlaying a chestnut coat (zorse coat color depends on the mother's coat color).
A Zonkey is a cross between a zebra stallion and a donkey jennet. The zonkey takes the color or dominant color gene of the jennet and the zebra sire gives it stripes. The zonkey is generally more easily bred for than the zorse as the donkey and zebra both communicate behaviorally using very similar language, whereas the horse language is somewhat different than the zebra'

This is your science lesson for this week. ......GED.....

378- FATHERS DAY

MEN ON THE RUN, MUST BE THE NBA
The sign the little kid is holding says.."Dad" (Click on pic.)
Sure looks like no one wants to take the responsibility, and all are getting the hell outta there. You would think the kid had a suicide vest on. Whoa, He's not mine, no sirree, is he yours? Nope, not mine, no, not mine either, not mine. Where's the mom?
......GED......

377- HODGE-PODGE

NOT SO FAMOUS SAYINGS BY SOME NOT SO FAMOUS PEOPLE
Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." -- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. -- Mark Twain
The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. -- George Burns
Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. -- Victor Borge
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. -- Mark Twain
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. -- Socrates
I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. -- Groucho Marx
My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. -- Jimmy Durante
I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. -- Alex Levine
My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. -- Rodney Dangerfield
Money can't buy you happiness .. but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery. -- Spike Milligan
I am opposed to millionaires.. but it would be dangerous to offer me the position. -- Mark Twain

Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP. -- Joe Namath
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it. -- W.C. Fields
We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress. -- Will Rogers
Don't worry about avoiding temptation. . as you grow older, it will avoid you. -- Winston Churchill
Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty ... but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. -- Phyllis Diller
By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere. -- Billy Crystal

Enjoy these words of wit. -- Glen Doutrich ..........GED........

376- REDNECKS TO IRAQ

GOOD OLE DOWN HOME BOYS TO DO THE JOB
The Pentagon announced TODAY the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the United States Redneck Special Forces (USRSF) These Georgia boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists :
1. The season opened today.
2. There is no limit.
3. They taste just like chicken.
4. They don't like beer, pickups, country music or Jesus.
5. They are directly responsible for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
The Pentagon expects the problem in Iraq to be over very soon.
This is for your humor only. ......GED.....

375- SENATORS-RIGHT ON

WOW! A BREATH OF FRESH AIR IN THE SENATE, NOW GO EXPLAIN THIS TO THE HOUSE ! It sure makes ones heart feel good when you feel someone is listening to the peoples voices. To Tina Sablan and all the concerned citizens supporting her, even though you may not get enough signatures, in the very short amount of time you had to do this, to get it placed it on the ballot, you must still feel you were heard. It should be refreshing to know your efforts were not in vain.
SIX of the nine senators yesterday endorsed the introduction of legislation that will include lawmakers’ miscellaneous funds to public scrutiny as required by the Open Government Act. Senate Vice President Pete Reyes, Ind.-Saipan; Sens. Maria T. Pangelinan, D-Saipan, and Paterno S. Hocog, R-Rota, were excused. Sen. Paul A. Manglona, R-Rota, and the author of the Open Government Act, prefiled Senate Bill 15-96. Sen. Luis P. Crisostimo, D-Saipan, recommended that all senators endorse S.B. 15-96, to heed the public’s call for more transparency in government. “A lot of people wanted information,” he said. “Let’s jointly introduce this. This is a good piece of legislation and will bring transparency…so that people will see where their money goes. Since we serve the people of the CNMI, they have the right to know where their money goes. According to Manglona, transparency takes precedence over expediency.”“The people, in delegating authority, do not give their public servants the right to decide what is good for the people to know and what is not good for them to know. The people insist on remaining informed so that they may retain control over the instruments they have created,” he said.The Open Government Act, or P.L. 8-41, was amended by lawmakers in 1994 to exempt the legislative branch from the law. Manglona said lawmakers should realize that the people of the commonwealth do not yield their sovereignty to the agencies that serve them. For the whole story click: The Marianas Variety
I complement the Senators for their insight and their ability to hear what the people are saying, makes me wanna shout Yabba, Dabba, Doo (a Fred Flintstone quote) Kudos Senators!
From the "people." .....GED.....