519- RULE # 3

RULES CONCERNING GETTING DRUNK

You are out with the guys and you are drinking with the goal of getting drunk.

You may get drunk only for the following reasons.

1. You got a raise.

2. You got fired.

3. You broke up with your girlfriend.

4. You got laid by your new girlfriend.

5. Your favorite sports team won.

6. Your favorite sports team lost.

7. Your best friend is in town.

8. Your best friend left town.

9. You were just nominated for 'Sexiest Man Alive'.

10. You were just nominated for 'Fattest Man Alive'.

11. It's Friday night.

12. It's Saturday night.

Let it be known that these rules are to be strictly followed. To do otherwise, will cause you to become known as a sot.

.....GED.....

518- THE MANS CODE part I

EVERY GUY KNOWS THIS CODE OF CONDUCT FOR MEN, BUT SOMETIMES WE ALL NEED A REMINDER

These rules of conduct are an unwritten code but I'm putting them down here in writing just for all to be sure to follow. They go like this.....
Thou shall not rent the movie Chocolate.
Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
Any man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed by his fellow party goers.
Unless he murdered someone in your immediate family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
You may exaggerate any anecdote told in a bar by 50% without recrimination; beyond that, anyone within earshot is allowed to call BULLSHIT. (Exception: When trying to pick up a girl, the allowable exaggeration rate rises to 400%.)
If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off-limits forever.
The minimum amount of time you have to wait for another guy who's running late is 5 minutes. For a girl, you are required to wait 10 minutes for every point of hotness she scores on the classic 1-10 babe scale.
Complaining about the brand of free beer in a buddies refrigerator is forbidden. You may gripe if the temperature is unsuitable.
No man is ever required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering a friends birthday is strictly optional and slightly gay.
Agreeing to distract the ugly friend of a hot babe that your buddy is trying to hook up with is your legal duty. Should you get carried away with your good deed and end up having sex with the beast, your pal is forbidden to speak of it, even at your bachelor party.
Before dating a buddy's "ex", you are required to ask his permission and he in return is required to grant it.
Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to pick a buffalo wing clean.
If a man's zipper is down, that's his problem - you didn't see nothin'.
There is now no reason for any guy to be caught breaking this code of conduct. YOU ARE NOW INFORMED! This is only half of the code I will, at a later date, give you the rest of it.
.....GED.....

517- AN ELEPHANTS MEMORY

AS YOU ALL KNOW AN ELEPHANT HAS AN 'UNFORGETTABLE' MEMORY

This poor dude relied on this fact to befriend an 'old friend' who he thought would remember him, but alas.....
In 1986, Mkele Mbembe was on holiday in Kenya after graduating from Northwestern University. On a hike through the bush, he came across a young bull elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed, so Mbembe approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot and found a large piece of wood deeply embedded in it. As carefully and as gently as he could, Mbembe worked the wood out with his hunting knife, after which the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man, and with a rather curious look on its face, stared at him for several tense moments. Mbembe stood frozen, thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away. Mbembe never forgot that elephant or the events of that day. Twenty years later, Mbembe was walking through the Chicago Zoo with his teenaged son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to near where Mbembe and his son Tapu were standing. The large bull elephant stared at Mbembe, lifted its front foot off the ground, then put it down. The elephant did that several times then trumpeted loudly, all the while staring at the man. Remembering the encounter in 1986, Mbembe couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant. Mbembe summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder. The elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of Mbembe' s legs and slammed him against the railing, killing him instantly .
Probably wasn't the same elephant.

Now remember this story and don't go in an old elephants cage even if you think you know him!

.....GED.....

516- CAUSES AND EXCUSES

EVER BEEN IN ANY TYPE OF ACCIDENT AND SCRAMBLED FOR AN EXCUSE OR REASON WHY IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT

Well here are some doozies, they are also kinda humorous as accidents may be.....

Incidents with Pedestrians: The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to run as I ran over him.

The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when we met on impact.

I knocked over a man. He admitted it was his fault, as he had been run over before.

I miss judged a lady crossing the street. She suddenly saw me, lost her head, and we met.

Have you heard any good 'uns lately? Let me hear them here.

.....GED.....

515- MADE IN THE SHADE

THE DILEMMA OF THE DAY
You are a South African bush pilot working for Blue Sky Aviation. You fly in some critical medical supplies, enjoy a quick lunch at the hospital. It's a stifling 100 degrees in the shade and you're eager to get back up to the cool, high blue yonder. On the way back to your plane, you discover that the only bit of shade within 1 mile has become very popular . You start calculating the distance to the plane door and wonder . . .

.................... ..........DO I FEEL LUCKY TODAY?
Would you like to give this a try, an, I think I'll take a run for it?, maybe I'll make it, what if I don't? Or, maybe I'll try to tiptoe by and ignore them, think that'll work? What would you do?
.....GED.....

514- HERE WE GO AGAIN!

ONCE MORE ITS THE SAME OLD SHIT AND NOTHING GETS DONE!

When is the government, the MVA and the residents of this place going to see the reasons for the steep decline in tourists? DO NOT let the MVA kid you and try to make you think its the airlines fault that less and less tourists are coming here. They are bullshitting the public, it has nothing to do with empty seats, the seats would be available if the visitors wanted to come. It has to do with exactly the reasons listed below.....

EYESORES GALORE: Bystanders look at the heavily vandalized stage of the Susupe Regional Beach Park yesterday morning. Used to be the most well developed local public recreation facility on Saipan, the park is now a major eyesore with its dilapidated benches, scattered trash, collapsed pavilion, and graffiti. Local residents are calling the attention of the government for the renovation of the park.
DEQ raises red flag at 17 Saipan beaches: The Division of Environmental Quality has raised the red flag on 17 sites on Saipan and advises the public not to fish or swim within 300 feet of these locations for the next 48 hours or until otherwise notified.The agency said samples collected from Nikko Hotel, Aqua Resort Hotel, Tanapag Meeting Hall, Central Repair Shop, DPW Channel Bridge, S. Puerto Rico Dump, Smiling Cove Marina, American Memorial Park, Outer Cove Marina, Micro Beach, Hyatt Hotel, Fiesta Resort, Fiesta (Dai Ichi) Drainage, Hafa Adai Drainage, Garapan Fishing Dock, Garapan Beach, and Community School Beach contained excessive concentrations of fecal indicator bacteria-enterococci-that exceeded the CNMI Marine Water Quality Standards.

Over and over I keep bringing this issue up, and will continue to do so until someone sees the light.

YOU HAVE NOW BEEN INFORMED AGAIN!

.....GED.....

513- PETE A. IS RIGHT

THE ONLY ONE WITH A LOGICAL WAY OF THINKING (And a mandate from the voters.)

Our elected Washington Representative is the only official that seems to get it. Why does everyone else seem so blind to the fact that the Federal government IS going to take over Labor and Immigration in the CNMI. Why not get on the band wagon and help. Why not have some input in the process? Why be out of the loop and simply take what is legislated by the U.S. congress? Wouldn't it be smarter to get involved, take part in determining what goes down? We can be block-headed and refuse to participate in the drafting of the bill, thus accomplishing nothing for the betterment of the CNMI. But noooo, these idiots want to stall the process with a report, only delaying the inevitable for a short time, and continue to simply reject the whole bill completely, doing absolutely zero, zilch good for anyone. They will simply not accomplish anything. They wanna take their toys, and like crybabies, pout and go home. This will NOT help anyone or anything, why the stupidly and ignorance? Here is what the elected D.C. Rep. says....

REP SAYS IMMIGRATION LEGISLATION COMING
The Washington Rep was the only elected official that spoke in favor federalization at last weeks immigration hearing...Pete A. tells KSPN News today that he thinks the administration is taking the wrong approach in dealing with Congress and should turn its effort to participate in the framing of what the immigration legislation will eventually look like.

Makes absolute sense, exactly what I've been saying all along. Get a grip governor maybe you should participate in the drafting of this very important bill about to be placed upon us instead of acting like a fool! There I said it again. .....GED.....

512- BLIND GOLF

NOW I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY MORE COMPLAINTS ABOUT YOUR GAME

This has got to be next to one of the most impossible feats one could ever conceive.
Posted on Tue, Aug. 21, 2007
Blind golfer hits hole-in-one: The Associated Press
LEHIGHTON -- Sheila Drummond didn't need to see her hole-in-one. She heard it. Drummond, blinded by diabetes 26 years ago, experienced the highlight of her golfing career Sunday, recording an ace on the 144-yard, par-3 fourth hole at Mahoning Valley Country Club. Playing with her husband and coach, Keith, and two friends in a steady rain, the 53-year-old Drummond hit a driver on the hole. The shot cleared a water hazard, flew between traps and landed on the green, where it hit the flagstick before dropping into the hole. "They were saying, 'It's a great shot,' and then I heard it hit the pin," Drummond said. "For a hole-in-one, you have to hit it onto the green, so it's a little bit of skill and a lot of luck." In 1999, Golf Digest said the odds of an amateur getting a hole-in-one are 1 in 12,750. That number, no doubt rises, for a blind golfer. Drummond is a member of the board of directors of the United States Blind Golfers Association, and the organization believes she is the first totally blind female to record a hole-in-one. "We've looked everywhere, and haven't been able to find anyone else," she said. Drummond took up golf about 15 years ago, and three years later qualified as the first female member of the USGBA. "I just try to do the best I can," said Drummond, who carries a 48 handicap with the USGBA. "I get nervous. "But I wasn't nervous (Sunday), I just don't like playing in the rain.".....
The next time you are golfing in the rain and things don't to seem to be going too well, remember this spunky little lady and keep on going, things will get better.
.....GED.....

511- WORTHLESS FACTS

HERE ARE SOME FACTS THAT YOU SHOULD ALL KNOW

These facts are completely worthless but never less true. Now aren't you glad you have them to digest today, yeah, like you already knew them all.... Here ya go!....
Dirty snow melts faster than clean snow.
The side of a hammer is called a cheek.
Clouds fly higher during the day than at night.
50 million bacteria could be contained in single drop of liquid.
Koala means "no drink" in the Aborigine language.
Minnows have teeth in their throat.
A cubic mile of seawater contains 150 million tons of minerals.
The pressure at the Earth's center is 27,000 tons per square inch.
The only royal palace in the United States is in Honolulu.
A Tyrannosaurus Rex can yield about 450 gallons of gasoline.
The male angler fish permanently attaches himself to the female and becomes absorbed by her body.
Albert Einstein was offered the presidency of Israel.
Louis Pasteur was a germophobe.
The average married woman in seventeenth-century America gave birth to thirteen children.
The hyena gives birth through its clitoris.
A pangram is a sentence that uses all the letters of the alphabet.
(Example: The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.)
Fingernails are made of a protein called Keratin.
The pin in a door hinge is called a pintle.
If you should dispute any of these facts, show proof of error, and then comment below.
.....GED.....

510- THE THEORY

I HAVE BEEN WONDERING WHY THE GOVERNOR IS ACTING SO STUPID ABOUT THE LABOR AND IMMIGRATION BILL AND HIS STUBBORN STANCE AGAINST IT

After a few times mentioning there must be some self serving and greedy motive I finally came to this conclusion. This is just my speculation and is not based on any facts or research, its just a swing in the dark relying on instinct only. Here is my written theory........

MY THEORY ON FITIAL 8/22/2007
I have been wondering for quiet sometime as to why the governor was being so block headed, stubbornly sticking to an absolute defiance of the changes being made by the U.S. Congress on federalizing labor and immigration. Not only arguing against the take-over but not even contributing to the terms and conditions of the bill. As I’ve been saying there must be some deal or some type of personal benefit that he will be losing by having the Fed’s take over the L& I and tonight, however I think I’ve hit on a possible reason for all his stubbornness. Here are my thoughts. Ben Tan and his brother Willie want to start their own small airline company, but with the federal government now watching over L & I, and having to approve all actions of all tourists and foreigners coming and going to and from the CNMI, Fitial would loose a great negotiating power by not having single handed control as how the airlines would operate, dictating who may come and who may go. I can see how this would be a major stumbling block to a free rein of the industry. This could be the possible reason to his defiant, stubborn and total rejection of any control of L & I by anyone other then himself. Herein lays the motive for the course of action he is taking, and the root of that is greed and selfishness. One can easily see through the problems that the Fed’s may cause by taking over L & I, and the amount of power that would be lost by Fitial. Simple when it is laid out in the open, if this not the reason for being block headed then it’s still something of a personal and selfish nature for him to be so vehemently against everything.
Written by:
GLEN DOUTRICH

.....GED.....

509- GOTTA HAVE COFFEE?

FOR ALL YOU COFFEE ADDICTS, A FEW GRINS AS YOU GULP DOWN YOUR THIRD CUP'a JOE

So you need that 'jolt' in the morning, the picker upper, that 'I can't function without my coffee,' yes, you, the one with the mug in your hand right now, Here's to ya!
12 WAYS TO TELL YOU DRINK WAY TOO MUCH COFFEE:
All your kids are named "Joe".
Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
You don't sweat, you percolate.
You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
Every shirt or blouse you own has a coffee stain on it.
You chew on other people's fingernails.
You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
Your life's goal is to amount to a hill of beans.
You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate.

Instant coffee takes too long.
You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
AND A COUPL'A SHORT JOKES:
Spouse #1: Honey, this coffee tastes like dirt.
Spouse #2: That's not surprising, dear, it was just ground this morning.
"I want you to drink a cup of hot water every morning," prescribed the doctor. "You gotta be kidding, doc," I've been doing that for years, but my wife calls it coffee".
I met someone in the elevator who was drinking coffee and complaining about how coffee made him nervous. I said, "why don't you quit drinking coffee?" He said, "because if I didn't have the shakes I wouldn't get any exercise at all."
Why do the Lakers drink their coffee black? No more KAREEM!
People ask me if I wake up grumpy in the morning....... I reply----No, "I just bring her some coffee" !!!
A lady came into the kitchen, sat down at the table, leaned forward, put her head in her hands and said to her husband, "Honey, I feel terrible! My head hurts, my back's killing me and my left breast just burns and burns." He said "I'm gonna help you, Dear. I'll get you some aspirins for the headache, I'll rub your back with Myoflex for the backache, and if you'll sit up and get your breast out of the coffee, it'll stop burning!"
So are you awake yet? Then have another cup! .....GED.....

508- EXTRA! EXTRA!

EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

This Friday Aug. 24, 07 during happy hour at the Grand Hotel. The following is from the post of the contest host.
In my last post I mentioned that we are going to announce the winners of the Photo Contest at an event on Friday at Grand Hotel during Happy Hour. The top 10 photographers will get a Beautify CNMI! prize pack and the Grand Prize winner will get a one night stay at Aqua Resort. Thank you, Aqua Resort! This photo contest was put on to raise awareness for the Micronesia Challenge, which is a pledge by the leaders of the Marianas, Guam, Palau, Federated States of Micronesia, and the Republic of the Marshall Islands to Effectively Conserve 30% of our Near Shore Resources and 20% of our Forest Resources by 2020.
Be sure to click on the link to 'Micronesia Challenge' to view some, or maybe all the contest pictures.
Click here FOR MORE INFORMATION
NOW YOU HAVE BEEN INFORMED. .....GED.....

507- DUMB JOKES

A FEW IDIOTIC JOKES FOR YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR

Some real corn etc.
How do you get five hundred cows in a barn?... Put up a "Bingo" sign.
What is the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?... One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with....the other is to carry groceries.
Have you heard about the new sub sandwich being sold at a national foodchain?... It's called the O.J. It's full of bologna, tough to swallow and the stupid people are still buying it!
What's six inches long, two inches wide, and drives women wild?... Money.
Two men are approaching each other on a sidewalk. Both are dragging their right foot as the walk. As they meet, one man looks at the other knowingly, points at his foot and says, "Vietnam, 1969."The other hooks his thumb behind him says, "Dog shit, 20 feet back."
A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years beforethe Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked about 10 feet behind their husbands. She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked several yards behind their wives. She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is marvelous, "said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve this reversal of roles?" Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines."
Have a very nice day! .....GED.....

506- OPEN YOUR EYES!

I KEEP REPEATING THIS MESSAGE HOPING IT WILL EVENTUALLY DO SOME GOOD... BOONIE DOGS, BEACH POLLUTION, MORE TRASH AND THE DISREGARD OF CONSERVATION LAWS.

As you can see I'm not the only one sending this message! Others, too are complaining, even as grand plans are being made to show art work in the airport, this place is just not attractive to tourists anymore. When will our leaders, the MVA, and the comminity deciede something needs to be done to rectify this mess? Do we have to wait until there are NO more tourists to wake up? or is it wait until someone ELSE comes here and does it for us? This seems to be the trend nowdays letting others come here do the things we can't seem to do on our own. Maybe an outbreak of rabies would bring Federal health officials to stop the blatent disregard for unfettered dogs and unsanitary pollution. READ THIS LETTER........If I Were a Tourist: I CANT help but replay the words of the governor to the U.S. House subcommittee — the commonwealth’s primary industry is tourism. Well, if I were a tourist visiting Saipan this weekend, I would have,

• Picked up 33 pieces of trash during a hike. Mind you, none of the trash was mine;
• Saw and tried to feed an emaciated dog with a collar embedded in his neck.

• Tried to enjoy myself at Paupau but was approached by three starving puppies.

- Noticed one pregnant female (dog) trotting around Pau Pau, in addition to numerous other adult dogs in the area;

• Witnessed several large barbeque parties at Sugar Dock, but then I noticed the line of juice boxes, beer and soda cans, and styrofoam bobbing in the water along the shoreline only a few feet from the family barbeques;

• Witnessed a small boat pick up three spear fisherman in the conservation zone just off of Managaha on Saturday.

• Witnessed one commercial boat openly fish in the conservation area on Sunday.

Wow, what a memorable weekend. I’ll be sure to tell of my friends about this place. Maybe they too would like to spend $1,200 on an airplane ticket to experience the wonders of third world America.

KATIE BUSENKELL

Papago, Saipan

Are ya'll getting the message yet? You have been informed again, though I will not rest my case. .....GED.....

505- THE YUCATAN and DEAN

TUESDAY, AUGUST 21st YUCATAN PENINSULA ABOUT TO GET HAMMERED

It is comming. Catagory 5 hurricane, Dean. Batten down the hatches, as they say, this will be a doozie. It's hunker down and wait time in Mexico. I don't envy these people one bit as it brings back some memories of a certain typhoon on Rota, Posonga that totally redirected my life, but I won't go there. I wish god speed to all in the Yucatan..

.....GED.....

504- WHERE IS 'YOURBODY'

IT'S NOT REALLY AS CONFUSING AS IT SOUNDS

That's Not My Job! This is a story told about four people named, Somebody, Everybody, Anybody and Nobody. There was one very important job to be done. Everybody was sure that Somebody would do it, but Nobody did it. Somebody got angry about it because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it. Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it. It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done... Now ain't this some confusing shit, when all we really needed was yourbodi.

So now ( you've figured it out, haven't you?) just relax! .....GED.....

503- ALL KIDDIN' ASIDE

SOME REALLY GOOD WORDS OF WISDOM FOR THE BETTERMENT OF YOUR LIFE.

An Inspirational Lesson, Motivational Thoughts...Ten Ways to Worry Less and Accomplish More
1. Don't think of problems as difficulties. Think of them as opportunities for action.

2. After you've done your best to deal with a situation, avoid speculating about the outcome. Forget it and go onto the next thing.

3. Keep busy. Keep the 24 hours of your day filled with these three ingredients: work, recreation, and sleep. Don't allow yourself time for abstract thinking.

4. Don't concern yourself with things you can't do anything about. Armchair generals don't win battles, but they do have nervous breakdowns.

5. For the time being anyway, eliminate daydreaming completely. Stop building air castles.

6. Don't procrastinate. Putting off an unpleasant task until tomorrow simply gives you more time for your imagination to make a mountain out a possible molehill. More time for anxiety to sap your self-confidence. Do it now, brother, do it now.

7. Don't pour woes and anxieties to other people. You don't want their sympathy - it'll merely make it easy for you to feel sorrier for yourself.

8. Get up as soon as you wake up. If you lie in bed, you may use up as much nervous energy living your day in advance as you would in actual accomplishment of the day's work.

9. Try to arrange your schedule so that you will not have to hurry. Hurry, a blood brother to worry, helps shatter poise and self-confidence, and contributes to fear and anxiety.

10. If a project seems too big, break it up into simple steps of action. Then negotiate those steps-link rungs in a ladder...one at a time.

And don't allow yourself to think about the difficulties of step number two until you've executed step number one. What were you worried about this time last year? Can't remember? See doesn't matter now probably wasn't that important then.

.....GED.....

502- SIDE AFFECTS

THE CURE SEEMS TO BE WORSE THEN THE ILLNESS

Just on a whim I decided to look up some side effects to some drug prescriptions and couldn't believe what came up. I typed 'medicines and side effects' hit search and picked a few of the medications on the first page. Here are some amazing results.....

Ativan - generic Lorazepam - which is an antianxiety medication and also a mild tranquilizer and sedative. This prescription drug may be used in the treatment of bipolar disorder. Ativan / Lorazepam Side Effects: Check with your doctor if any of the following side effects continue or are bothersome: Clumsiness or unsteadiness; dizziness or lightheadedness; drowsiness; slurred speech Abdominal or stomach cramps or pain; blurred vision or other changes in vision; changes in sexual desire or ability; constipation; diarrhea; dryness of mouth or increased thirst; false sense of well-being; headache; increased bronchial secretions or watering of mouth; muscle spasm; nausea or vomiting; problems with urination; trembling or shaking; unusual tiredness or weakness
HAVIDOL is for the treatment of Dysphoric Social Attention Consumption Deficit Anxiety Disorder (DSACDAD). It is the only known medication available for this newly recognized disorder. SIDE EFFECTS: As with many medications, there can be side effects. This risk must be balanced with the medical need. Most patients find the benefits outweigh the risks. All people taking medicines have some risk of becoming dependent on the medicine. Consult your doctor about how this may affect you. Adverse events may include: Mood changes, Muscle strain, Extraordinary thinking, Dermal gloss, Impulsivity induced consumption, Excessive salivation, Hair growth, Co-dependency with inanimate objects, Markedly delayed sexual climax, Inter-species communication, Taste perversion, Terminal smile, Oral inflammation, Very rarely users may experience a need to change physicians. ( You won't need any social attention with all this shit going down. You''ll be in deep thought, playing with dildos, talking to monkeys and looking for a sane doctor.. This is wild.)
Concerta is methylphenidate, a mild central nervous system stimulant used in the treatment of attention deficit hyperactivity disorder in children. Common side effects of this medicine: Inability to sleep, nervousness, restlessness, lack of appetite. Dizziness is common. Rise slowly over several minutes from sitting or lying position. Be careful climbing stairs. High blood pressure. Rapid heartbeats, abnormal heartbeats, chest pain or pressure. Other possible effects: Abdominal pain, abnormal heartbeat, abnormal muscular movements, blood pressure changes, chest pain, dizziness, drowsiness, fever, hair loss, headache, hives, jerking, joint pain, loss of appetite, nausea, palpitations (fluttery or throbbing heartbeat), pulse changes, rapid heartbeat, reddish or purplish skin spots, skin reddening, skin inflammation with peeling, skin rash, Tourette's syndrome (severe twitching), weight loss during long-term treatment....

Holy shit, can you believe all this? I was flabbergasted when I read this, just look at some of these side effects, I'd think I'd rather stay sick or crazy, or whatever it is supposed to cure.

.....GED.....

501- SPORTS QUOTES

SOME NOT SO FAMOUS QUOTES AND SOME NOT TOO BRIGHT CONCLUSIONS

Do you really wonder what were they thinking when these statements rolled off their tongues?

Quotes from Sport Celebrities:
Shaquille O'Neal on whether he had visited the Parthenon during his visit to Greece: "I can't really remember the names of all the clubs that we went to."
New Orleans Saint RB George Rogers when asked about the upcoming season..."I want to rush for 1,000 or 1,500 yards, whichever comes first."
"Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein."- Football commentator and former player Joe Theismann 1996
"You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle."- Bill Peterson, a Florida State football coach
Boxing promoter Dan Duva on Mike Tyson hooking up again with promoter Don King: "Why would anyone expect him to come out smarter? He went to prison for four years, not Princeton." Shaquille O'Neal, on his lack of championships: "I've won at every level, except college and pro."
Lou Duva, veteran boxing trainer, on the spartan training regime of heavyweight Andrew Golota: "He's a guy who gets up at six o'clock in the morning regardless of what time it is."
1992 - Pat Williams, Orlando Magic general manager, on his team's 7-27 record: "We can't win at home. We can't win on the road. As general manager, I just can't figure out where else to play."
1982 - Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice: "My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt."
1981 - Tommy Lasorda, Dodger manager, when asked what terms Mexican-born pitching sensation Fernando Valenzuela might settle for in his upcoming contract negotiations: "He wants Texas back."
1991 - Steve Spurrier, Florida football coach, telling Gator fans that a fire at Auburn's football dorm had destroyed 20 books: "But the real tragedy was that 15 hadn't been colored yet."
1991 - Frank Layden, Utah Jazz president, on a former player: "I told him, 'Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?' He said, 'Coach, I don't know and I don't care.' "
So what say you? .....GED.....

500- 500** 500** 500**

Started: March 19th, '07 day one. Today: August 19th, '07 exactly 5 months, exactly 500 posts.
...IT IS TIME TO CELEBRATE ANOTHER MILESTONE!...
.....GED.....

499- AN EASY QUIZ

TAKE THIS QUIZ HERE
(Allow some download time.)
Choose beginner/easy quiz.
At the bottom choose
'number of questions.'
Click 'Take the selected quiz'
Type in your answers.
Click 'DONE'.
See your results. ......GED......

498- TRY THIS GAME

CLICK HERE TO PLAY ..

Double click 'Start New Game' to play.

Solve the game by matching the pictures. Give the computer a moment to download. Below the game there are 'Other Links' click on them to play some other games.

Enjoy... .....GED.....

497- BUT ON THE OTHER HAND

IT IS WONDERFUL TOO, ALL THE REASONS TO INVEST, VISIT, WORK, LIVE AND WANT TO STAY HERE. THE BRIGHT SIDE OF SAIPAN

1- You will never see a more beautiful sunrise and sunset.

2- There are some of the most awesome scuba and diving spots in the world.

3- There is a tropical garden type environment, filled with floras, birds and underwater sea life.

4- Neat and clean hotels with a huge variety of activities to participate in.

5- Several quality golf courses and other outdoor, fresh air and sun things to do.

6- Ah! Smell the ocean air.

7- Lots of water sports, all accessible to everyone.

8- Come here to see or participate in a variety of sporting events and competitions.

9- Beaches all around the island, all with their own unique characteristics.

10- Beach parties, plenty of places to throw a BBQ.

11- Hiking and nature excursions to see nature at its closest.

12- Many WWII relics, sites and memorials to send a person back to a bygone era.

13- Lots of excellent bars, restaurants, clubs and nightlife to enjoy.

14- Shopping galore DFS, boutiques, island souvenirs, and an array of other shops.

15- Something for the ‘guys’ too.

16- The best part, the people.

17- Enjoy the local traditions, dances, music, food and entertainment.

18- Some of the nicest, friendliest people you will ever meet.

19- A very diverse community, a melting pot of numerous ethnic groups.

20- Hard working, dedicated, and ‘I’ll give you a hand’ attitudes.

21- Under the U.S. flag, U.S dollar, post office, citizens and protection.

Now you make the choice... .....GED.....

496- ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?

ALL THE REASONS NOT TO INVEST, VISIT, WORK, LIVE, AND MOST LIKELY CAUSE YOU TO LEAVE HERE. THE DARK SIDE OF SAIPAN............

1- Our power rates have doubled.
2- There are still blackouts, many unannounced.
3- Our water in unfit for human consumption.
4- A rapidly declining government budget.
5- A government millions of dollars in debt.
6- We have a do nothing incompetent government.
7- The garment industry ( the main source of gov. funding.)....is leaving and for all practical purposes is gone.
8- Airlines have stopped flying here.
9- Tourism is declining rapidly.
10- Families are moving away.
11- Businesses are closing and leaving the island.
12- Students leave for an education and don't return.
13- Schools are dilapidated and overcrowded.
14- Beaches are polluted and trashy.
15- The island looks dumpy and unclean.
16- Thefts and robberies are rampant.
17- Unemployment and welfare is increasing.
18- Roads are unrepaired and full of pot holes.
19- Wages are less then a gallon of gas.
20- Land is locked and therefore unattractive to investors.
21- The economy is in the toilet.
So what do you think? Add your comments to this list.
Tomorrow ...But On The Other Hand, ..watch for it. .....GED.....

495- ACTUAL SIGNS

HERE IS A HUMOROUS LIST OF SIGNS FOUND IN BUSINESSES ACROSS THE COUNTRY

To read them means to see through the underlying interpretation. Have a go at it......

In a New York restaurant: Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners: 38 years on the same spot.

In a Los Angeles dance hall: Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.

In a Florida maternity ward: No children allowed.

In the offices of a loan company: Ask about our plans for owning your home.

In a New York medical building: Mental Health Prevention Center.

On a Maine shop: Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices and workmanship.

On a display of "I love you only" Valentine cards: Now available in multi-packs.

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

In a funeral parlor: Ask about our layaway plan.

In a Tacoma, Washington men's clothing store: 15 men's wool suits, $10. They won't last an hour!

Outside a country shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

In the window of an Oregon store: Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?

In a Maine restaurant: Open 7 days a week and weekends.

On a radiator repair garage: Best place to take a leak.

On your computer: Best place to enjoy the humor! .....GED.....